Why doesn't the Human ever enjoy a nice plate of the Stinky Goodness with me?
Why does the Human step into a big curtain-thing and let water spray all over her? Doesn't she know how to use her tongue?
Why does the Human get up when it is still way dark and expect me to be awake and affectionate? I mean, *I* don't have to get dressed to go earn the green papers! That's her job! She should just let me get my beauty sleep.
If the Human wants me to play with her, then she should get down on the floor and roll around in the nip and then bat the sparkly ball around for awhile. I'd play that with her!