Sunday, October 7, 2012

My Fishie Tried to Kill Me

The Innocent Victim

The Wicked Perpetrator

The Safe Refuge

Kitties! You have *no idea* how close Spitty the Kitty, King of California and the Western Lands, Prince of Kiimamaa, came to Meeting His Maker Friday night.
The Human was kindly, albeit inattentively, playing Magic Fishie with Yours Truly.
She was maintaining only a loose hold on her end of the toy, while I was storming the Business End with all my considerable might. Suddenly, her end was wrested violently from her control and that thing whapped and slapped and wrapped itself around me like a skinny black boa constrictor! 
Kitties, I was trapped! Trapped, I say, in the clutches of that Mad Fish.
I don't mind telling you, I went all kray-kray with fear and frenzy. I raced to and fro, that THING dangling and clattering every which way but loose, and dived UTB to calm myself and consider my horrible plight.
Evidently that didn't go very well, because only two minutes later I shot out from UTB, still enveloped  in the clutches of You-Know-Who. The Human heard tremendous thumping and clattering and then I disappeared UTB for a second, and lengthier, stay.
I re-emerged about 15 minutes later, only slightly rumpled. My dignity was restored. I was, after all, pawloose and fishie-free.  
The Human found The Wicked Attack-Fishie lying limply near my kitty tower, bloodied but unbowed. We both survived to battle another day.



41 comments:

Katnip Lounge said...

Holy CODFISH!!! Spitty, we knew the Fishie was sassy, but felicidal?

::looks at Fishie with New Respect::

Teri and her Stylish Adventure Cats said...

Oh Noes! That's about as scary as getting tangled in a plastic bag! We are glad you didn't 'wet yourself' hahameow!

Catio Tales said...

Well done, King Spitty you have thwarted our secret weapon. Your fishie was a secret spy fishie that would know if you ever had tempting thoughts towards our suomalainen girlcats. And it caught you! But then you dealt with it - we are impressed!!! We are glad you have not destroyed the fishie, as we think it would be good to play with again. We are sure you have made sure that the latent spy material in it is now useless. Be careful though, if it malfunctions then sometimes it can cause you to dribble and drool, but hopefully you won't go as far as to wet yourself. But bewarned, we have plenty of these Magic Fishies here to send on, hehehehe. Seriously dude, we hope you get over the shock soon - best curl up in the pink beddy to recuperate.

Unknown said...

Dearest Spitty,
me is overcome with your fishy killing prowess! Yous has defeated the evil Finish Finned Forgery of a real Cat Toy! My hairy slobbery sisters has new PLUSH DEEP FLUFFY beds that they won't come near. Purrhaps yous could ciome over and and yous mes could...
Kisses
Nellie

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

Wow, we will be VEWY VEWY careful about our fishie. Good thing you warned us.

Laura and Taffeta Rose said...

From your ears, Spitty, we think you have not forgiven Fishie (or the human) quite yet. Perhaps freshly dedding him again would fully perk your ears once again. Purrs.

Laura & Taffy

Angel Prancer Pie said...

Finnish fishie or Trojan horse??? YOU tell us.

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Yikes!!! NO KILLING OF THE SPITTY!!! NOT ALLOWED!

Leo says: Dude! I had a toy do that to me! The thing wrapped around me and I took off! Luckily it fell off because ..uh, I was about to dead that thing but good! Don't let anyone tell you that I hid after that... it was a nap, honest!

Star says: I'LL KILL IT! No one, no THING is allowed to hurt my Spitty Dear! Grrrrroowlllll!

Unknown said...

Dear Spitty,
Nope, yous has to comes here!
The Hairy slobbery sisters won't come near the new beds!
BTW it is Thanksgiving. Turkey Giblets is on my menu for Brunch!
The Queen of the Universe

Cory said...

OMC! I tried to kill my Da Bird today...do you think it will try and attack me?

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

That's not right! You are supposed to kill IT, not the other way around!

Mr. Black said...

I hope you're going to press charges.

Stacy Hurt said...

We thank whatever Cods may be
For your unconquerable soul!


Good thing escaped to fight another day. That is truly the Pirate creed, no?

xoxo
Ms. Stella O'Houligan

The Furries of Whisppy said...

Good Cod! That was a close call for you.

Ling once had Da Bird wrapped round her tail (it's kinked so the string got entangled) and boy, did she freak out. She did all she could to get it off but in the end, Mommy had to corral her in a corner and untangle Da Bird.

Mollie said...

Wow Spitty, you said it was magical..That's sooo scarey..xx00xx

CATachresis said...

Is this a case of the worm errr fish turning? the piscine revenge? Spit, old boy you need to get the status returned to quo toot sweet and all that! Feline honour is at stake here!! I can teleport over with some red bulls in a crate to aid us in our quest if you like! Your pal, Austin the Fish Squisher >^..^<

CATachresis said...

PeeEss, in order to get your human to visit other bloggies more often perhaps you should threaten to revoke a few privileges or something. I don't know what it means, but my old biddy says that quite a lot to me??

Fuzzy Tales said...

We're horrified on your behalf, Spitty, but for some reason our human's laughing like crazy....

Marg said...

Oh Spitty, thank COD you survived that attack by that green fish. We are on our way over there to help get that fish in line. There are a lot of us coming so the fish doesn't have a chance. We will fix that norty fish. By the way thanks for the great laugh this morning. Take care.

Katie Isabella said...

Spitty! Your Admiral had that happen once. Her human brother was playing Da Bird wif her and it got tangled in her..or she in it, and the rest was horrible! Admiral ran pell mell into the bedroom and under the bed dragging the dreaded attacking Da Bird wif her, clattering al the way. She came out..it was still attached and she darted around in the bedroom with mom trying to soothe her and unwrap her from the clutches of the manical Da Bird. Finally mom caught her and with hissing and spitting aplenty on the part of the Admiral, got her unwrapped. It took all day for her to recover her equilibrium.
I am so glad you lived to tell the tale. XXXOOO

Angel Simba said...

That hard end of those toys is EBIL, I say. Glad you finally escaped from its clutches.

Shaggy and Scout said...

That nasty thing! Lulled you into complacency then went for the kill!
You are brave Spitty. We know you just went UTB to sharpen your defenses for the next assault.

GLOGIRLY said...

Oh Spitty....that was a close call. I hear those fishies can be deadly once they wrap themselves around you. I certainly hope you're planning your revenge attack. Better start working out...pumping iron...running up and down some steps.

; ) Katie

Pandafur said...

You skarded me to hisssess with that horror story! Dear Spitty I iz so sorry that fishie attaked you. You wuz so brave to kill it dedded an eskape itz ebil cluchez *softpaw*

Ivan from WMD said...

I hate it when toys attack! I'm going to have to take the whole day to recover from your harrowing story!

GreatGranny said...

Oh my, you sweet boy. I hope you nefer let that fish attack you again. Years ago, Mom's kitty was attacked by a mousie, all wrapped up in it's clutches. Mom nefer left them alone agin coz mousies can be vishus too.
xoxo Kassey

Anonymous said...

wow! I loves fights to the the deaths! Just yesterday a canvas shopping bag choked me round my neck and chased me through the house, sending books and shoes and fireplace pokers after me as well! it was harrowing to say teh least, but i never lost hope. bet you dint either, Mr. Spits. show that fishie Who teh Cat!

Texas, a Cat in... Austin said...

Spitty, you have to terminate it now! There is no going back!
Purrs

Terri said...

Spitty, we are shocked at the evil deed of the Magic Fishie! You need to put the bitey on it for good measure then have a long nap in your pink beddie.

Tamago said...

That sounds scary, Spitty! Trapping you in clutches, what a devil fish! (I first thought crotch instead of clutch...English is not my 1st language.)
You gotta whap the fish really hard next time!

Seville at Nerissa's Life said...

MOUSES! I say - and I say it with narrowed eyes and one eyebrow slightly raised - kill him! Kill him and then eat him. That's what must be done with such vicious fishies. purrs

Cat and DOG Chat With Caren said...

all that and your Mom didn't get it on VIDEO?

hehehe...

Fire her

Cathy Keisha said...

I guessed that that was what happened but nowhere in that blog do you mention that your Human tried to save you!! I can't believe that!! You need to move here cos when I got my head caught in the handle of a shopping bag when I was younger, it was TW who coaxed me over and cut it off.

Kjelle Bus aka Charlie Rascal said...

OMC !
Sooo glad to hear that you managed to escape from the evil fishy !!

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

OH!!! DEAR!!!!
Spitty that finnish fishie needs to be taught a lesson. And you my dear mancat are the one to do so.

purrs
>^,,^<
✿•*¨`*•. ♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥✿•*¨`*•.

The Island Cats said...

Oh no, Spitty! We go on break for a few days because the mom is off galavanting across the US of A and you almost gets killed?? By a fish?? Spitty...what is this world coming to???

meowmeowmans said...

Holy Cat! That fishie is absolutely MANIACAL, Spitty! Glad you were able to survive its attack. Battle on, brave pal!

Oui Oui said...

It just goes to show you that you never know where vishus evil lurks.

Shaggy and Scout said...

Soon Spitty!
Mom is running around like she's got a magic fishie wrapped around her!!!!
She has PT for her arm tomorrow, then maybe after that you will see what is behind that door. Personally, you can have it if you want it.....

Katie Isabella said...

Oui Oui..but the Shadow knows......Bwa hahahahahahaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

Oh Carp!!! I missed this post Spitty!! (reaches over to Spitty and strokes his forehead)...are you OK now my furriend? What an ordeal. ANd the human did not even bother to get UTB with you the first time to dispatch that monstrosity!! Shame on the human!! You can hop BART and come over and visit me if you want Spitty, purrrrrs, Savvy