Did you hesitate for even a moment, Kitties? No, I thought not.
How can it be, then, that the Human found Choice A more compelling for
FOUR FREAKING DAYS,
leaving Yours Truly to pine away on my Tower,
neglected, abandoned, lonely and starving?
[Ed.: Now Spitty, you know your loving aunties from next door came over twice a day and fussed over you and fed you all your favorite foods, right? And you know they left the Human a note each time, saying your plate was clean and you were snoozing comfortably, right? Right. So, uh, dial down the drama.]
#1 The Dad: "Aw, female feline bonding...ain't it cute." ::clickity, clickity:: #2 M3K: "A camera? Maybe just a nip to stay in character." ::bitey, bitey:: #3 M3K: "Aggie's not responding. Maybe if I just rolled over and..." ::hiss, whap, whap::
Yes, it's true. I've been heartlessly abandoned by the Human, who is off in the land of fun and sun, floating aimlessly in the clear blue waters of the Caribbean lovely backyard pool of her dear friend.
Me? Oh, I don't mind being left alone to brood over whether I'll be fed or not. I'm sure the neighbor ladies will remember. . . eventually. And, if not, what's a little hunger as long as Human's having her good time, with the nice restaurants and barbeques?
I sure could use a little company though . . . anyone?
CK of The World's Most Stunning Cat first proposed the idea of "Senile Saturday" -- for our Peeps, of course, since no matter how old we kittehs may grow, we become only wiser, never, you know, the "S" word.
Today I have decided to inaugurate Senile Saturday as an occasional feature on SpittySpeaks, thus providing the kitties of the Blogosphere an uproarious laugh at the expense of the two-legged ones.
So...what you see pictured below is the front door of our apartment (the interior front door, Thank Ceiling Cat, because if it were the exterior, we might not be here to tell this pathetic story):
This has happened not once, not twice, but three times over the past month, Fortunately, we have kind and honest neighbors who have not entered and robbed us blind or murdered us. It is just a matter of time, though, Kitties, don't you think?
Quite a while back, Nellie shared this fabulous award with me! Thanks, Darling Nellie, I am honored (even if my Human *was* just a leetle slow in posting about it).
So the award is supposed to include a list of eight unusual things about the recipient. To be honest, I don't think there are eight unusual things about me, so I will list three things and call it a day!
• I am terrified of boxes. Boxes are Angry Beings that might devour an unsuspecting kitty at any time.
• On the other hand, even the loudest outdoor noise does not faze me in the slightest.
• I have never met a Kitty Treat that tempted me even the tiniest bit.
I think all my furiends are Hot, but I will share this award with these fiery felines:
Honestly, could this be any more humiliating? Shouldn't a Boy who's completely sacked out be able to trust that his Human won't spread such embarrassing pictures far and wide? It was warm today. I was soooo comfertabuls in my pink beddy. I had too much faith in my Human, Kitties, way too much.
Aggie and Madie's Dad repurrts: I usually let matters move at their own pace with the kitties, but this time I interfered (a bit). Aggie was resting peacefully in solitary splendor on her high perch, beyond (as of yet) the leaping abilities of Miss Madie Mitten Kitten. So I picked Madie up and added her to the homey vignette. Awww, so cutes! Snap, snap, pictures for posterity (and the insatiable maw of "The Blog"!)
Aggie looked a little misty eyed, as if seeing little Madie as "the kitten I'll never have." Feeling particularly motherly in the moment, Aggie proceeded to gently groom M3K as if she were her own flesh and fur. Milliseconds later, Madie's on her back, using both paws to whack her erstwhile Mama upside the face and head! Aggie's bobbing and weaving, trying to get one last lick in---and failing! Time to terminate the experiment! As Aggie glared at me accusingly, I picked Madie up and put her out of paw's reach. Well ::sigh:: I tried.
I love to play in my tunnel. I used to think it might EAT ME, but so far it has not, which is quite the relief. As you can see, part of the blue section (so MANLY, eh?) is mesh, and what I really love to do is claw at dangerous opponents right through the mesh. Somehow, even though I kill this mousie every other day or so, it comes back, Zombielike, for another go-round. Do you think it might be . . . immortal?
Hi Kitties! Thanks for all the support yesterday for my Pink Preference. I do find it soothing, and it sets off my furs so nicely, don't you think? I believe the Human's ridiculous enriching class is over as of tonight, so perhaps she will refocus her efforts on catering to my every whim. A Boy's gotta have some Hope!
Why, hello Kitties! Today I think I will address a couple of random topics, so bear with me:
ʘ Aggie and Wally and Madie's Dad is an excellent Dad and a furry fine Human, but he is not interested in helping them with a blog of their own--well, not now anyway. (The Human is patiently working on him.) The Human and I are furry interested in the integration of Miss Madie Mitten Kitten into the A&W family and we enjoy writing about them and their secret lives. Plus, I am an only cat and as endlessly interesting as I am, there are days when even I become (Dare I say it?) bored with myself. So A&W&M provide a nice diversion.
ʘ Yes, I do like pink stuff. Anybody got a problem with that?
ʘ Warning: TMIAt a recent medical meeting, it was reported to the Human that she has kidney stones, not a kidney stone. Further intrusions upon her person are planned (i.e., an ultrasound). Fortunately the Family Stone must be happy in their neighborhood because apparently they are not on the move, which is the cause of the excruciating agony discomfort of an attack.
ʘ The Human is taking a class this week from 8 - 4 efurry day so she is not helping me visit like she should. She needs to get her priorities in order. I need some advice on how to straighten her out, Kitties. Any suggestions?
For the first time in all my entire eight years, I have been frequenting the Human's desk over the past few weeks. I've discovered that usually if I rudely intrude, I will get the brushies since she's so charmed (as indeed she ought to be) that I have chosen to come close. What a messy pile atop that printer though, eh? She should clean that right up, don't you think?
Our fogs burned away for a couple of hours the other day, and voila! A sun puddle called my name. I had a wonderfully warm nappy. It was delightful. I'm hoping for another puddle by the weekend, but the Human says the fogs might be tough to penetrate.
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In other news, remember my absent paws on Monday? Yes, I thought you would. So here they are, up-close and smoochable. I guess SomeHuman must've gotten a jump start, MOL! William & Shaggy'n'Scout: Was that your Mom(s)?
Only the most devoted of Spitty followers will be able to endure all 61 seconds of this little movie. It's okay if you don't watch it all. Spitty will not be mad or put the bitey on you. In fact ::shhhhhhh:: he won't even know!
In general, I am disinclined to expose my intimate & vulnerable Tummy, more properly stomachus felis cattus Spittimus, but I felt daring today, so feast your eyes, my Furry Furiends. Perhaps a LadyCat or six would like to stop by and rest your weary head(s)? Does it make that prospect more exciting to know that at any moment I might change my mind about this whole thing and bite your pretty ear off? Anyone? Anyone? Grayce?
Miss Mitten Kitten shows off her little ginormous paws before embarking on her next adventure.
Watch out, Aggie & Wally! She's on the loose, armed and dangerous.
*Miss MMK here demonstrates her customary facial expression. It is rare to see her mouth closed. She approaches the worldteeth-exposed and bite-ready. A small spray bottle is being employed to teach her the value of manners, hahameow!
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Meanwhile, the Big Kids have established the . . .