Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Monday, April 29, 2013


Uh, nevermind.
I fits real good.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Oh for Cod's Sake, Human!

How many times do I have to tell you 
to put the flashy box away 
when I'm settling in for my nap? 
And by the way, I really could use
a bigger bed. And wipe that smirk
off your face, Tubby!

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Friday, April 26, 2013

The Terrible, Terrible Toy

About a week ago, the Human decided to play Nekofly Toy with me. Normally, I enjoy such activities. But Kitties! Let me tell you the horrors that befell me! That THING wrapped itself somehow around a portion of my anatomy that the Human didn't really see very well and I am not revealing. 

I jerked away as any kitty would, pulling the wand part right out of the Human's hand, and raced UTB trailing that toy behind me. The Human did all she could to coax me out, but I was not making a sound. So despite the fact that it was 10:30 p.m., she ripped the bedding off the bed, tipped the [very heavy --Ed.] queen-size mattress up against the wall, pulled the box springs off in another direction, practically weeping with certainty I had been strangulated by now. I, of course, had escaped at the first sign of mattress tipping, leaving that murderous toy behind.

Fast forward to last night. I was hanging around the Human's desk, practically begging for playtime. Thinking surely I must have recovered from my scare, the Human actually dragged out that Instrument of Death and dangled it before me. Kitties, I kept my composure, I did. I walked calmly into the living room. 

But she did not leave well-enough alone. She followed me! Brandishing that THING in front of her. Well, Kitties, I admit it: I losted it. I screamed and hissed and hissed and screamed and ran for cover and hissed some more. I stayed hidden for two or three HOURS. To her credit, the Human came in and crooned, "I'm sorry, Spitty, I'm sooooo sorry" to me UTB. I did not reply.

Finally I emerged from the bedroom into the hallway, where I sat, tiny and fearful, for awhile longer. Then she insensitively snapped a photo. What's wrong with her?

Outcome: The Nekofly is going to live with the Cousins and I am getting anything I want for the foreseeable future.  I'm calling it a draw.

 Resident Evil:  1
Tiny & Fearful Spitty:  1

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Whatchoo Talkin' About, Human?

Since you asked, No, I did not poke a hole in my ear!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Pillow, Party of One

Some days, a Boy just needs a pillow to himself to rest 
and recharge for his next adventure.
Some days, he needs an extra pillow for his tailio.

P.S. Regarding yesterday's lovey-dovey picture sequence, the Dad of Aggie and Wally writes:  One of the early commenters on A & W pics was quite correct; it was merely the "calm before the storm." That last grooming picture was actually far more aggressive than it looks; instaseconds later it transmorphed into serious neck chomping, hissing and (eventually) mutual dispersal.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Aggie and Wally: Together Again

Remember the cousins? Remember this? Well, Kitties, times have changed; oh yes, they have!
Let's look in on them . . .
Love is in the air and all's right with the world!

Monday, April 22, 2013

♫ O, Canada ♫ ♫

This is a house the Human has passed almost every day
 for almost 30 years. She's not sure when the people 
who live there began to fly the Canadian flag, but it's been 
a long, long time! So every morning she says a silent hello 
to our furiends Nellie and Nerissa* and then she wonders
if the people in the house might know them. But Canada's
pretty big so she guesses probably not, MOL!

*And from now on, Hailey & Zaphod too and Nicki & Derry and Clooney & Neytiri and Rhyme Time!

The Human says:

Sunday, April 21, 2013

♫ Sparky, Sparky, Bo Barky. . . ♫ ♫

I picked up the Sultry Sparky Spitfire at her gracious home in the Great State of Maryland (hmmm, was it named after my Human, do you think?) We headed immediately for our Top-Secret Destination: Bo's House. Sparky really, really wanted an official portrait with that curly-furred woofie. Frankly, I can't imagine why!
We parked right next to a convenient hedge and plotted out our strategy. We knew this wasn't going to be easy.
After finalizing our plan, Sparky fought her way through the hedge (what? You thought *I* was going to do that for her? It is to laugh! If the LadyCat wants to visit another guy, she has to work for it!)
I followed her though the now-nicely-formed and roomy hedge tunnel. Because I am as a Shadow, it was my job to make my stealthy way to the Oval Office, where we figured the President would be hard at work on the Nation's Business; Sparky would be free to chase Bo down. But surprise! There he was, giving the President a nice break from his hard work. Woofies are so selflessly generous, aren't they? Suckers!
While the President was distracted by my hissing (I don't *do* laptime, even for you, Mr. President), Bo made his way out to the lawn where I'd told him Sparky would be waiting. Ever the gentleman, he posed for a stunning portrait with her and then trotted back to his master.
Unfortunately, I think I might just possibly have perhaps used my claws just the eensiest bit to get off the Presidential lap. The President told Bo they were "Outta there" and off they ran like the wind! Luckily, I skedaddled just ahead of the Secret Service and found Sparky still mooning around on the lawn.
We lay low till nightfall, and then we hightailed it out of there. Mission accomplished!
We woke up the next morning in a Maryland park, wondering if it had all been a dream. I gave the beauteous Sparky her roses and drove her home in the Furrari, then headed back to foggy SF. But when I vacuumed out the car, I found several stray black-and-white curly furs on the passenger seat. Why, Sparky! You scamp!

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Comfortable Caturday

It's been a long week, Kitties, as once more the Humans showed just how much they still have to learn from us. Today was the purrfect time to shut off the babbling newscasters and have a blissful snooze in my favorite box-bed. Hope your Caturday was just as restful. 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Fev-ver Love

Sorry there is not a better soundtrack. 
Mute, and enjoy the Gloriousness of Spitty.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Katie & Spitty's Excellent Adventure

I picked Katie up at her beautiful
Minneapolis residence. After subduing
a strange Orange Beast, we took 
off for the Canadian border and 
parts unknown.

Since neither of us a-membered our
passports, we pointed the Furrari
straight into a hedge and burst on
through, right under the unsuspecting
noses of the RCMP. Heh, heh.

Bypassing the attractions of Winnipeg, we headed straight for Thunder Bay 
and spent a delightful evening in the Spirit Garden.
Isn't it lovely? We romped to our hearts' content and then cuddled 
in front of an extra-comfy log and drank in the night & the sights.
You might notice that the Furrari had a special paint job just for the occasion. 
I feel very ManCatly in a pink car, and how could Katie ride in anything else?

After we'd spent hours investigating
that wonderful circle, we dropped by
my house for a little snuggle & conversation about our trials and tribulations.

Since Katie has to put up

with the Orange Crush, she kind of won
that round, but then I reminded her
I must endure the near-daily outrages
of bad service from the Human, 
so we called it a wash.

Soon it was time to hop back 
in the Furrari and present 
the Beauteous Katie with 
some pink roses to remember me by.

Arrivaderci, Caterina!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


Apparently, the windowsill has shrunk 
since last I enjoyed springtime sunpuddles.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Heat Vulture

It was cold last night, Kitties! And windy! And finally the Human turned the radiators on,
so I didn't freeze my ba--  Oh, wait. Too late for that. 
Honestly! It's like the freaking arctic around here sometimes.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Please Join Me for Some Bafftime Fun

Well, it's bafftime anyway; 
I don't really know about the fun part so much.
Oh who am I kidding? Spitty's always fun!

P.S. Please to excuse the eye schmutz. My staff failed to properly clean me up for my close-up.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Mint Condition

Kitties! What a Furrari trip!
I picked up Queen Katie Isabella at her castle in the heart of Tennessee,
and we immediately returned at warp speed to my hometown.
Queen Katie had expressed a rather unusual desire 
to visit the San Francisco Mint.
Now for those of you who don't know or care (and I assume your numbers are legion),
San Francisco has two mints. The "new" one, built in the late 1930s, 
looks like a giant prison on a hill (above). It is still operational, 
though now it mints only commemorative coins.
The Old Mint, built in 1874, survived the 1906 earthquake and is now a museum 
open to the public on some days and available for special occasions.
It's certainly a more graceful and less intimidating structure.

The best part of our day came after the tour when we stopped off at Chez Spittola 
for a little R&R before our long trip back to Tennessee. 
We had a lovely cuddle and, as usual, I groomed Katie's sweet little heady
while she snuggled and purred. It was Heavenly!

Saturday, April 13, 2013


Right there is good.
And right there is good, too.

In fact, anywhere the brushie touches is magic.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Halp Me.

Please, someone, come get me out of here. 
I don't like the way they're eyeing me,
and I'd like to go home now, please.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Ciao, Kitties!

We are taking a very brief Blogcation until Caturday. The Human has, as usual, allowed herself to procrastinate on a Giant Work Project, and so, again as usual, it's the Kitty who pays the price.
But I have decided that Springtime is the purrfect season to bring the Furrari out of cold storage and rev her up for a little action. Perhaps by the weekend she'll be good and ready to take a LadyCat for a little spin?

*    *    *    *    *    *    *
All right, all right: Spitty has decided that he will offer Furrari rides to all the LadyCats who have requested one so far, in the order in which the request appeared. 
(No squabbling allowed! Behave yourselves, MOL!)
 This means the Furrari will arrive at your respective castles/homes in the following order:

1.  Katie Isabella, Beauteous and Gracious Queen of Tennessee
2.  Katie, of Glogirly fame (but most def not Waffles Too!)
3.  Sparky Spitfire, the Fiery Feline
4.  Savannah-Banana, my East-Bay Beauty
5.  Jacqueline's Trio of Lovelies

Now this may take a week or two (Spitty is too old for Furrari trips every day!), but he guarantees a good time will be had by all!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Truth and Nothing But The Truth

The Human: Why are you acting so annoyed and aloof?
Colonel Spitty: You want answers?
The Human: I want the truth!
Colonel Spitty: You can't handle the truth!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Alone At Last

Well, except for the Lady with the Flashy Box.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Spitty's Shame, Part Deux

And is it my Human so expertly twitching my favorite feather for me? No, Kitties, it is not. Though it pains me to admit, not only did I succumb to being Brushed by The Introodur, I also could not resist a vigorous fev-ver play session with him.
I am ashamed of myself. What's happened to me, Kitties? I have even approached and sniffed his hands, and (Ceiling Cat help me) napped in his presence. Yes, slumbered! Right out in the open, where he could have gotten all grabby-hands with me!
I must ponder in my flinty little heart the meaning of all this.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

It's Not My Fault

So the Human handed my favorite brushie, the one with the Glorious Bristles of Delight, to the Introodur last night. I could not help myself, Kitties, I succumbed to the lure of the GBofD. It was Not My Fault.

And there's worse to come.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Donne Well-Done

Busy old fool, unruly Sun,
why dost thou thus,
through windows, and through curtains, call on us?
-John Donne

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Thankful Thursday: I Am Shameless

When I saw that the Fabulous Nellie had composed a special Birfday Poem
for Cody, I admit I was kind of bummed.
I mean, I know that I have to play second fiddle to Allred
and I have accepted that, especially after his wondrous return,
but I really need to be up there in Nellie's Top Ten.
Apparently she understood that I needed reassurance,
so she whipped out her pen and consulted her muse, 
and *I*, Spitty-the-Kitty, got a POEM of my furry own.
Thanks, Nellie. You're the BEST  XOXOXOXO

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Monday, April 1, 2013

DIY Neutering-Reversal Surgery

Wait! What? Nooooo, I've changed my mind! 
No, no, no! Take off those snappy gloves right now and put those furry black balls back in their Tupperware! Right N-O-W. 

No, no, no! I don't even want them reattached! 
Wait! What are you doing with that hammer? It's for anesthesia?  No no no!

Just calm the heck down, Dr. Frankenstein. Nobody's using a scalpel around here. Unless it's me, digging my claws right into those sterile hands. 

Be polite? Yes, yes, yes--OKAY: Thanks, Punapippuri, for finding them and sending them along to me. I've stashed 'em in the freezer--you know, just in case.

Now Human! I mean it. Get me down off this table and put those things away right this minute!