Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Wily, Warmish Wednesday

The Human just thinks she's sooooooo smart, covering the comfy chairs to prevent my furs and claws from redecorating her boring furniture. Well, I confess it was a fair amount of work to loosen her tightly-tucked-in comforter, but I wormed my way inside, dammit! Try to keep me out, will you Woman? Phfft! It is to laugh!

It was kinda stoopy of me, really, since it was 86° today. But it's the principle of the thing: The Kitty Goes Anywhere He Wants.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Monday Musings

Yo! Where are those beauteous GirlCats  
to wave the fev-vers to keep King Spitty cool?

Oh, and by the way, in my newly-friendly persona, I often hang out near the warm laptop when the Human's using it. Oh, did I say "near"? I meant "on." Sometimes, my highly-desirable presence results in some negligible inconvenience to the Human. Like the other day, when suddenly the touch pad became non-functional. "Phffft. So what?" said I. I guess I could've told her that F3 button was right before her clueless eyes, but, honestly, if she's that stoopy, she'll just have to figure it out for herself. I mean, it's not like there's a freaking diagram or anything, right?

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Spring Break: The Final Report Card

Spring Break
Days 7 - 10

Noms:        B+
Brushies:   A-
Petting:      B+
Playtime:   B
Overall grade:  B+

The Noms have improved significantly, though her ability to predict my preference on a particular day is woefully lacking. The Brushies have been fantastic, sometimes 15-20 minutes at a time, twice a day even. If only this could become a regular occurrence, what a Happy King I would be! Pettings have been fine, better than average, but nothing really special. Playtime was pretty good Friday and Caturday, perhaps an attempt to atone for the poor performance on Days 5 & 6. There was wand toy time, box time, fev-ver time, and even hand-to-paw batting time. If the sessions had been more frequent and/or of longer duration, her grade could have been even higher. She returns to work tomorrow, and I expect service to suffer. Perhaps I needs me a bell . . .

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Easy Sunday Baff Time

              Hey! rub-a-dub, three cats in a tub,
              And who do you think they were?
              The Spitster, the Baby and Ms. Stella, maybe,
              And all of them grooming their furs.

              Oh, so you don't see those beauteous LadyCats? Well, a boy can dream, can't he? 
              Besides, I think they're on their way right now!

Friday, April 25, 2014

What Is Wrong with My Picture?

Can you spot the problem in this otherwise-dull-and-ordinary photo of Yours Truly?

P.S. I have decided to save the Human's final report card till Day 10.
P.P.S.  The Human has had the nerve to be gone the past few evenings and we are waaaaaaaaay behind on visiting. We hope to start remedying that tonight. (Otherwise, she won't even want to see Sunday's grades.)

Thursday, April 24, 2014

              Green Mousie Corpse, In Situ, with Witness

And whatever has happened here? 
Gray Mousie might have a story to tell, but he ain't sayin' a word. 
Carlo "Spitty" Gambino don't never take the fall for a hit 
when there's a Button Man to do the time. 
And he don't never leave a witness.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Spring Break: Report Card, Days 5&6

Spring Break
Days 5 & 6

Noms:        B
Brushies:    B+
Petting:      B
Playtime:   C-
Overall grade:  B-

The noms have slipped. I disdained my breakfast yesterday, taking one pitiful bite and walking away. Now, when she's at work she does not lose points for this, as she really doesn't know till she gets home whether breakfast has pleased me or not. But Kitties, she was right here yesterday, and it took her almost the whole DAY to offer me something else. I could have starved! Pfft. There was a good brushing session on both days, though not as much petting as I might have wished. Playtime slipped again, nearly into D range, which at the Human's school would put her onto Academic Probation!  On the plus side, my tailio has grown back, as you can see very well in this Back-of-Disrespect pose.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

An Earth Day Baff and Remembrance

Ah yes, I do appreciate the placement of my perch. 
But. . .uh-oh, quelle horreur!
Have I become a Manxie? 

On Earth Day 1983, the Human's Mom Ginny crossed the Human Rainbow Bridge. 

She was a wonderful mom and the Human loved her lots. She liked kitties, too, which makes her A-OK in my book.

We like to think she is part of our Mother Earth now.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Spring Break: Report Card, Days 3 & 4

Spring Break
Days 3 & 4

Noms:        B+
Brushies:   B+
Petting:      B
Playtime:   C

Overall grade:  B-

The noms have been more than adequate following her trip to the Temple of PetSmart. Nice selection and good frequency.
The brushies were absolutely excellent this morning, but not so bountiful yesterday, so still not in 'A' territory. Ditto the petting.  Playtime is still no better than average.
Moving the little woven trunk next to the window was a nice touch, but not good enough for Extra Credit. Let's see how she does after Day 6.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Blissful Morning

I paused this morning during my ritual grooming to contemplate raising the Human's service grade because, after all, she *did* move my favorite perch to a spot right in front of the window, where the sun puddle was. I made a mental note before resuming my baff, but we'll see how dinner goes before issuing SB report card #2 tomorrow.

Hope all you Kitties and Peeps had a fine Easter Sunday.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Staff Report Card

Spring Break
Days 1 & 2

Noms:      B
Brushies: C
Petting:    B
Playtime: C-

Overall average:   C

Friday, April 18, 2014


Spring break begins today?
Today? Really?

You'll be home with me for the next ten days?

Really? Ten?


Wednesday, April 16, 2014


Honestly, Human, this is just un-ac-cep-ta-ble
It's getting way past its prime and you haven't even
watered it in like four days. Sigh.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

All right, yes. 
As a matter of fact, I *am* curled up on the Human, relaxing. All right?
Okay, okay: Even cuddling! Yes, Yes, Yes! I admit it!
I am helpless! I can dissemble no more!
. . . It is the beating of her hideous heart!

Monday, April 14, 2014

I'm So Excited

. . . and I just can't hide it.
Oh, wait: Yes, I can.

Yes, Kitties, today is my Fourth Blogoversary!
Can you bear the frenzy of celebration 
that surrounds me?

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Highfalutin' Haiku

Patient Nerissa
Unsheathes his lethal weapons; 
Mousies skitter far

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Ready . . .Set . . . Go

And the Human ruins 
yet another Easy Sunday moment. 

Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Final Chapter

'Twas the week before Spring Break, when across my wee street,
Not a Spycat was stirring, no email, nor Tweet!
Strange letters had faded, I hadn't a care,
I hoped pine cones & Cheez-Its would vanish in air.

Viceroys were stationed on every close block;
I relaxed more each moment as I looked at the clock.
I heard Captain Flynn give his whistle and shout,
Purring ever more loudly as he called each name out:

"Now, Katie! now, CK! now Emma and Buster!
On, Tutu! on, Sammy! Break up that big cluster!
Now Nellie and Oui Oui, and you, my dear Callie!
Put down that Nip Nanner and cover the alley!

"Hey Binga and Austin,  Savannah and Moosey
Your furs are not tidy, your tails loosey-goosey!
Trout Town Tabbies, you look as high as a kite--
Have you been in the Haight for too much of the night?"

Then I saw Mata Hari,  or my Sweet Screamoline;
To the top of the window, she slinkily climbed-
Then she dashed away, dashed away--up to the roof
And in front of my eyes, she simply went POOF!

Then Flynn laid his forepaw aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, rose up on his toes.
He sprang to his tunnel, calling out "Most well-done!"
And away they all flew, tired out from their fun.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he faded from sight—
“Happy Spying to all, and to all a Good Night!”
And The Human in jammies, and I in my furs,
We settled ourselves for a night-time of purrs.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Fretful Fursday

It takes a worried man(cat) to sing a worried song
It takes a worried man(cat) to sing a worried song
It takes a worried man(cat) to sing a worried song
I'm worried now but I won't be worried long

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Say Cheez

Oh Kitties, I hardly know
which way is which anymore.
There was a little sprinkle
earlier, and I thought 
it was rain. But now I am just
not sure anymore. 

I am trying to blend 
into the peacock fev-vers that
were left on the coffee table,
but I fear they are not 
really very good cover.
What oh what am I to do?

Monday, April 7, 2014

Undercover Kitty

                                                                             is undercover?

Kitties, Do you think it's possible Does the KGB spy across the street bear an uncanny resemblance to a Certain Screamy Girl we all know and luff?

Sunday, April 6, 2014

ManCat Monday: The Mata Hari of Hugo Street

The Red Arrow marks the spot!

And just Who is This, may I ask you? And what is that suspicious pinecone apparatus doing there? The mystery deepens. 

Viceroys, prepare to be called up at a moment's notice!

NB: You know, Kitties, I keep feeling like I might be missing something. I have to get to sleep soon and think. I do my best thinking when I'm unconscious.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Super-Secret Sunday

Well, Kitties, I have read with great interest your analyses of the spy agency headquarters across the street.  I am exhausted from the brain-strain and have retired to my super-secret office to ponder my next move.

I'll be getting up from my nap in about 13.2 more hours, and perhaps by then I will have formulated my plan. Stay tuned: Same Cat time, same Cat channel.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Friendly Friday

Hello Kitties, TGIF, eh? So I'm spending part of my pleasant day keeping an eye on the strange, formerly-vacant office on the street level of the apartment building across the street. Suddenly, there are lights at very odd times and the blinds open juuuusssssst the eensiest bit and snap closed again.

Do you think it could be Putin's new KGB re-forming on my tiny street in San Francisco? I mean, we *are* a pretty left-leaning city and all.

Just wondering.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Just Another Thursday Outrage

Honestly, Kitties, I ask you:
Could she have taken 
a more unflattering photo?