Saturday, June 22, 2019

A Gift from the Bitee

Apparently the Guest I Bit realizes that The Incident was all her fault, and so she sent me these wonderful scratchers. The Human says I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, however, and she had to forcibly grab me and smoosh my furry face into the plastic bristles. I enjoyed it (except the being manhandled part) but she says I have not *quite* got the hang of it yet.* To be fair, I think it was pretty darn nice of her to have sent me a present. She must have stopped bleeding.
* [He is evidently too stoopy to understand he can get the brushies all by himself. --Ed.]

11 comments:

  1. Oh my heavens, I gotta say- just as dad started to read this post I set my chompers into the meaty part of his right hand because I didn't like the way he was patting me!

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  2. Oh Spitty - I'm thinking that you could swap your current Human for The Bitee: SHE seems to appreciate that it's all about you and your needs and wants and preferences and that her role is to do whatever she can to pamper you. She sounds like an excellent bein to join your staff.

    Megan
    Sydney, Australia

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  3. It's called "The Helsinki Syndrome", Spitty...and you've nailed it!

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  4. That was very generous of her, and I am sure you will make full use of it when your Human is not around to see you expertly rubbing your face on it.

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  5. That was nice of the guest! I think I would like to rub against that thing myself, but my human says she's had them in the past and the cats at the time didn't get it either.

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  6. What a nice present! We hope you'll figure out how to use it, Spitty.

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  7. I think your human may need a bitey for that last comment :) XO

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  8. Don't feel bad Spitty. TW bought one of these for Faith and she never learned to use it either.

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  9. So do I need to start biting to get presents?

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  10. Not a very nice comment from the editor. We had one of those years ago, but we never used it. Your injured guest and the editor just don’t realize that you want to be waited on. Having to brush oneself is a huge chore. Sorry we have been AWOL. With this dumb, never-ending construction and Sawyer having one to three seizures a week, Mom is super stressed. Misty May was delighted to see you today, as we all were. She returns the kisses and hugs. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy and Sawyer

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Leave me a meow or a hiss; I don't mind a hiss or two. . . or even a bitey.