The Humans Had Their Annual Block Pawty Today

And only doggies got to go.

Caturday: The Fleeze Repurrt

After my third Advantage treatment two weeks ago, we believe we have gained the upper hand in my personal 100 Years' War against the Flench and their allies.
We estimate we have driven off (i.e., killed dead) about 75-80% of our enemies and the rest are on the run. As useless as my Human usually is, she has been a staunch 4-Star General in devising our battle plan, and tireless in operating the Sucky Monster and wielding the Comb of Sudden Sudsy Death.

Sad Foods News

Since I was a wee boy, I have been a very picky eater, and although the Human has spent the price of a new Corvette on healthy, good-for-me, high-quality cat food, and although she has actually even cooked for me, she has always reliably depended on Whiska's "savory pate" flavors in the little squarish cans to get me to eat. When they became harder to find, she tried other Whiska's products (such as the ones the nice lady above offered to send coupons for), but I was not interested. 

Then, one day not long ago, her visit to PetSmart proved fruitless, and when even Amazon failed her, she knew the jig was up. She wrote to the company anyway, but as you can see from the tragic email response above, There is no joy in Mudville.

Oh, I will eat other foods, probably I will not actually starve myself, but Hard Times have come to Spittyland, yes they have. Sigh.

It's always something.

Fair's Fair

She works, I play; hey, she made the mess!

I'm not so very sure about this new fevver toy, though. It's bigger than I am.

This Is My Story and I'm Sticking to It

As she was getting dressed to go to the movies one recent afternoon, the Human put on a pair of black shoes she likes and wears quite often. But they *really* hurt the toes on her right foot. She has a sort of semi-bent, hammertoe-ish dealio with the second toe on her right foot, but it usually never causes her a problem with shoes. The right shoe hurt so much she couldn't wear it. She was kind of upset about it, but was in a hurry, so she cursed at the shoe and cursed at her toes, put on another pair of shoes and left.

Many hours later she came home, and as she was getting undressed, she began to think again about that damned shoe. So she tried it on again, and again, it was super painful to walk in. She was really mad and unhappy, but this time when she removed it, she tilted it to look inside at the toe part. What should come rolling out but MY pink burlap mouse, waiting patiently exactly where he should be! I was napping so sweetly that she did not even whap me with the shoe! Ha ha ha!!! I **love** when stuff like this happens!

He crawled in there himself.

The Classic Napping Positions

There are four basic positions in modern-day classical napping, known as the First through Fourth Positions. In 1430 B.C.E., napping master Meriptah credited the codification of these four positions to Bast Herself. 

In the First Position, the right foreleg is curled carefully 

under the head and around the tender belly, thus 

providing a comfortable pillow for the noggin and ample 

protection for soft & vulnerable inner regions.

In the Second Position, both forelegs are fully extended, parallel to each other, spaced about 4-5 inches apart. The gentle stretching required for this position is soothing to the napper and offers both a welcome change from Position 1 and maximum frontal body exposure to the warms.

In the Third Position, the right footie is raised straight into the air, and the left dangled gracefully toward and slightly below it, forming a soft partial T.  The tip of the left paw is perpendicular to the middle of the right, with all toes gently curled inward for maximum effect.

Fourth position should form a neat little head cup. The right foreleg should semi-encircle the nosicle and mouth (taking great care to not impede respiration!) and the heddy should be inserted as deeply as possible into the little space created. If you do this position correctly, the Humans will be so overcome by devotion as to be unable to resist even your most outlandish demands.

Monday Mashup

After Googling some info about a little day trip to Petaluma and purchasing Star Trek tix through Fandango yesterday, THIS was the ad that appeared on her Facebook sidebar a couple of minutes later. We don't know whether to laugh or scream.

Apparently, she did not learn her lesson the first time yesterday, as you may be able to tell from my expression above. If you are a slower learner (like her), certainly the little shot below should make everything clear.

An Homage to Snoopy atop His Doghouse.