Saturday, September 22, 2018

Sunday Selfie: The Conversation

THE HUMAN:     Spitty, do you have time for a little talk?
ME:                       Well, I was getting ready for my mid-morning nap. Is it important?
THE HUMAN:     I wanted to talk about your choice of receptacle last night when you, uh, barfed.
ME:                      Yes, I dimly remember that. It was kind of late, wasn't it?
THE HUMAN:     Yes, yes it was. In fact, you woke me.
ME:                       Oh. Sorry, I guess. I mean, excuuuuse me for upchucking and all.
THE HUMAN:     It's not so much the barfing, as where it occurred.
ME:                       And where was that again?
THE HUMAN:     In my good shoes. BOTH of them. I mean, I could overlook one as accidental, but . . .
ME:                      Well, the first one was starting to smell awful, so I switched mid-heave.
THE HUMAN:     ::crickets::         

UPDATE: After frowing up twice over the past few days, about an hour ago I finally rid myself of a large and lustrous furball. Today I chose to make my deposit on the rug you can see above. Not as good as a shoe, I suppose, but my fur *is* black and it looked quite spectacular. You-Know-Who didn't say anything except, "Poor kitty. I bet you're glad to be rid of it finally." I guess she gets a few points for that.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

                                     My New Statue

I was very surprised when the Human brought home this fine picture of my statue outside the Legion of Honor art museum after her visit this morning. It's so large and, well, downright noble. Yes, the El Cid Campéador statue was impressive, but surely I'm more relatable, right? Don't you think?

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

              Multiple-Choice Moment

                      A)  Kon’nichi wa.
                      B)  Why, thank you, Your Highness.
                      C)  Take my wallet--it's right under my tummy fluff!
                      D)  Please forgive me.
                      E)  Halp me, Human!
                       F)  One to Beam Up, Scotty!*
                       G)  All these curtains are mine.**

* With thanks to meowmeowmans for the inspiration
**  With thanks to William's Mom

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

                                   Twofer Tuesday

Oh, she thinks she's soooooooo funny all the time. I say, There's a big difference between hiding from the Clickety-Clickety Brigade and having a house fall on you 'cause you're wicked.

So the Human was strolling up the Embarcadero the other evening with a friend when she whipped out her phone to take a random picture (because she can't seem to help herself). Although there were plenty of people and cars around, she happened to clickety-click at the split second when for a moment none of them were visible. She'd like to claim credit for that, but dumb luck is a better explanation.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Smoldering Sunday Selfie

I know I'd be cuter with *two* ears. But even a one-eared Spitty is still in the top 10% of Good Lookin' ManCats. Right? 

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Little Boxes

Oh yes, I could have a bigger box. In fact, I *do* have bigger boxes. But sometimes, on chilly nights, I like my tiny box near the ancient radiator. It is snug and warm, and I feel secure against the elements. 

Sometimes, I permit the Human to pick me up, box and all, and put us in her lap. Really, I prefer the floor and the radiator. But she says, 'Sometimes, you have to pay the rent, Spitty.'

Thursday, September 13, 2018

                It Calls to Me, but I Do Not Answer

I had the deepest sleepies. I did not even twitch or bat an eyelash 
when the paparazzi approached.