Tuesday, January 15, 2019

If Kitties Ran the World

Their Humans would provide them 
intoxicating toys 24/7, and stick around
for a companionable chat while the kitty
played. That's not asking so much, right?

Monday, January 14, 2019

                          I Think It Looks Just Like Me

Since I shared Barb's most excellent painting of the Lord Chancellor, I thought it only fitting to revisit her fine portrait, painted some years ago now, of His Majesty. It hangs just above the Human's laptop where we I compose my blog posts. I spend a considerable amount of time admiring myself, as who would not? The Human says my ego has grown even larger than my backside, but what care I for her silly Human criticisms?  

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Playtimes: Expectations v. Reality

So today, I got to play with my valerian-soaked yellow ball.  I would say expectations were met and even exceeded.

The Human is a bit conflicted, however. She bought these innocently enough at a rather chi-chi, upscale pet store about a year ago. She subsequently learned why it is I love them sooooooo much--they are real fur. Ugh, she said. And contemplated taking them away. Not on your life, I said, unsheathing every claw and baring my fangs. You'll notice I got to keep them.

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Friday, January 11, 2019

Marv's Human Barb Kowalik . . .

is Da Bomb as the Human's teen-aged students used to say back in the day (but now when the Human says it, she just sounds like an old dork).

But look! Feast your eyes upon my Lord Chancellor, FritzieFritzie's camera-shy dad, and his fine portrait painted by the above-mentioned Barb.

You may notice that His Majesty features rather UNprominently in this masterwork, which was painted from a picture in which Yours Truly appeared on Fritzie's computer screen. 

Is it possible Fritzie was committing an act of treasonOh, surely not! He was simply caressing my little heady. Right?

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Spitty's Forecast, #1

Napping with a chance of sunpuddles.

How's that for a forecast? I suppose it really might not count at all because it wasn't exactly a forecast so much as it was an affirmation.

Perhaps you noticed our failure to post yesterday? *I* wanted to, but the Human said, Oh, no, Spitty, I'm gonna take care of this everyday fantasy I can see developing in your little cat-brain right now before you start pestering and pestering. Even more than you do now.

I don't think that was a very nice sentiment. Old meanie.

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Daily Disappointments, #2

I was feeling a little, oh, maybe bedraggled is the word I'm looking for. So I hopped on up onto the Human's desk while she lollygagged in front of the laptop and asked nicely for some brushies and then some playtimes.

But noooooooooooo. She has to read her 27th Politico article of the day, followed by a dozen more from some other site as she shakes her head at the appalling state of American politics.

Now I ask you: What good does that do me, Kitties?

Monday, January 7, 2019

Daily Disappointments #1

No matter how long and loud my complaints, 
eventually the radiator stops radiating.

Sunday, January 6, 2019

A Most Undignified Sunday Selfie

Kitties, I was manhandled. Grabbed and manhandled, I tell you. Surely a case of lèse-majesté if ever there was one.

I mean, I had barely awakened from my mid-day nap! I strolled over, purring a friendly hello, when suddenly she got all grabby and practically strangled me in her excitement to share the news.

The whitester whisker has returned! 

I don't know what the big deal is, as in the meantime the *other* one has fallen out somewhere, so I am still unbalanced.

And hush, you, I heard those titters out there in Readerland.

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Wally Wally Wally:
If Kitties Ran the World #1

Every King worthy of the title needs a Lord Chancellor (but sorry, Wally, that position is currently occupied by Fritzie). 

Still, other Court Offices are available. For example, the position of Lord Chamberlain happens to be vacant at the moment, and I am eagerly awaiting Wally's acceptance.

The First Triumvirate of Spitty, Fritzie, and Wally will soon issue some decrees and orders and other important stuff.

Did she honestly think that 
kissie sound would distract me 
from my supper? She's supposed 
to be filming and/or typing, 
not making silly noises at me.  

Friday, January 4, 2019

Stoopy Human Tricks, #1

So last night, the Human and her friend went to dinner and a movie at the Century theaters in the Westfield Mall downtown. The impressively large and festive Christmas tree was still, um, hanging from the top of the dome like some stabby piñata

And who was it, do you suppose, that failed to teach these Humans which end of a fake pine tree is up? Not a kitty, my friends. I guarantee it.

Now I know how a Crispmouse tree should look, but I certainly can't be bothered with that one. Meanwhile, I have a new toy today and it's a fun one. In fact, I need to go finish playing with it right now.

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Things That Annoy Me, #1

This Thing:
Yes, her, Jane, that adorable little pupper who's soooooooo cute and cuddly and friendly, and everything Yours Truly is not. The Human comes home from a visit with her, and I have to listen to the cooing and the oohing and the aaahing. Honestly, it sets my remaining teefs on edge. She even has a floofy tailio. Bah, humbug.

You don't think she'd try to bring one to live here, do you?
Say, does anyone have a room to rent?

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Dear Readers: A Plan for 2019

Spitty the Kitty hard at work planning the New Year
So Kitties, as you know, Yours Truly has been blogging off & on for going on NINE long years. As Loyal Commenter Miss Megan from Sydney observed, 2018 was pretty much a disaster for Spitty(Didn't)Speaks(Much).

My post total came in at a dismal 169 (#It'sADisgrace). And yet . . . something is missing;  je nais ce quoi -- call it Inspiration. 

But Miss Megan is not one to criticize without offering a solution! And we have taken her suggestions to heart and added a few of our own.

Now, we are not saying we will post every day--the Human and I are elderly, after all, and haven't that much energy or ambition, but surely we can up our numbers in 2019! 

So, with the able assistance of Miss Megan (okay, with a ton of assistance from Miss Megan) we have come up with some new posting categories (à la Wordless Wednesday or Thankful Thursday, but with our own adaptations).

Some of these include:
  • Playtimes: Expectation vs. Reality
  • Spitty's Forecasts
  • Things I Wish They'd Told Me About Getting Older
  • Daily Disappointments
  • Tricking Stoopy Humans
  • Things That Annoy Me
  • This Time Five Years Ago
  • If Kitties Ran the World
Stay tuned.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Happy New Year, Kitties!

Yours Truly had a big night being social with the Human's party guests. 

I even let Fritzie's Dad touch me and brush me. Shocking behavior from this furry former feral.

I think a nice nap in the sun is a most excellent way to begin the New Year. We hope you and your Humans have a wonderful New Year, full of toys and treats and naps and foods and attentive staff.