Sunday, July 31, 2016

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Caturday: The Fleeze Repurrt

After my third Advantage treatment two weeks ago, we believe we have gained the upper hand in my personal 100 Years' War against the Flench and their allies.
We estimate we have driven off (i.e., killed dead) about 75-80% of our enemies and the rest are on the run. As useless as my Human usually is, she has been a staunch 4-Star General in devising our battle plan, and tireless in operating the Sucky Monster and wielding the Comb of Sudden Sudsy Death.

Friday, July 29, 2016

Sad Foods News

Since I was a wee boy, I have been a very picky eater, and although the Human has spent the price of a new Corvette on healthy, good-for-me, high-quality cat food, and although she has actually even cooked for me, she has always reliably depended on Whiska's "savory pate" flavors in the little squarish cans to get me to eat. When they became harder to find, she tried other Whiska's products (such as the ones the nice lady above offered to send coupons for), but I was not interested. 

Then, one day not long ago, her visit to PetSmart proved fruitless, and when even Amazon failed her, she knew the jig was up. She wrote to the company anyway, but as you can see from the tragic email response above, There is no joy in Mudville.

Oh, I will eat other foods, probably I will not actually starve myself, but Hard Times have come to Spittyland, yes they have. Sigh.

It's always something.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Fair's Fair

She works, I play; hey, she made the mess!

I'm not so very sure about this new fevver toy, though. It's bigger than I am.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

This Is My Story and I'm Sticking to It

As she was getting dressed to go to the movies one recent afternoon, the Human put on a pair of black shoes she likes and wears quite often. But they *really* hurt the toes on her right foot. She has a sort of semi-bent, hammertoe-ish dealio with the second toe on her right foot, but it usually never causes her a problem with shoes. The right shoe hurt so much she couldn't wear it. She was kind of upset about it, but was in a hurry, so she cursed at the shoe and cursed at her toes, put on another pair of shoes and left.

Many hours later she came home, and as she was getting undressed, she began to think again about that damned shoe. So she tried it on again, and again, it was super painful to walk in. She was really mad and unhappy, but this time when she removed it, she tilted it to look inside at the toe part. What should come rolling out but MY pink burlap mouse, waiting patiently exactly where he should be! I was napping so sweetly that she did not even whap me with the shoe! Ha ha ha!!! I **love** when stuff like this happens!

He crawled in there himself.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

The Classic Napping Positions

There are four basic positions in modern-day classical napping, known as the First through Fourth Positions. In 1430 B.C.E., napping master Meriptah credited the codification of these four positions to Bast Herself. 

In the First Position, the right foreleg is curled carefully 
under the head and around the tender belly, thus 
providing a comfortable pillow for the noggin and ample 
protection for soft & vulnerable inner regions.

In the Second Position, both forelegs are fully extended, parallel to each other, spaced about 4-5 inches apart. The gentle stretching required for this position is soothing to the napper and offers both a welcome change from Position 1 and maximum frontal body exposure to the warms.

In the Third Position, the right footie is raised straight into the air, and the left dangled gracefully toward and slightly below it, forming a soft partial T.  The tip of the left paw is perpendicular to the middle of the right, with all toes gently curled inward for maximum effect.
Fourth position should form a neat little head cup. The right foreleg should semi-encircle the nosicle and mouth (taking great care to not impede respiration!) and the heddy should be inserted as deeply as possible into the little space created. If you do this position correctly, the Humans will be so overcome by devotion as to be unable to resist even your most outlandish demands.

Monday, July 25, 2016

                                    Monday Mashup

After Googling some info about a little day trip to Petaluma and purchasing Star Trek tix through Fandango yesterday, THIS was the ad that appeared on her Facebook sidebar a couple of minutes later. We don't know whether to laugh or scream.

Apparently, she did not learn her lesson the first time yesterday, as you may be able to tell from my expression above. If you are a slower learner (like her), certainly the little shot below should make everything clear.

An Homage to Snoopy atop His Doghouse.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Sunday Selfie: Downput Me! Downput Me!

It was one thing when she wanted to hold me and pet me and cuddle. I mean, I can let her have her little snugglefest once in a while. 

But then, well THEN she sneakily dragged out the flashy box, and that was just Too Much, Kitties, it really was. Honestly, she cannot take such ridiculous liberties with my royal self.

Am I being soooo unreasonable?

Friday, July 22, 2016

Finally Friday!

Actually, now that summer school is over and real school will not begin till August 15, Friday has (temporarily) lost its celebratory feeling. Ho-hum. Just another day in the Castle. 
She did go to PetSmart to buy regular stuff, and she *did* remember to buy me a new toy or two. So there's that.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

                               Spitty's Special BlanKat

I gotted a wonderful present from . . . Finland(N)!
I've been kept away from it because of, well, you know, the fleeze--
but this morning I insisted it was time to let me play on it!
(She said I am not yet allowed to nap on it, because, you know, the fleeze.)
The books has funny titles:  The Little Brown Mouse . . .
A Tale of Two Kitties . . .
Cat O'Nine Lives . . .
The Three Mouseketeers . . . Field Guide to the Garbage Can . . .
How to Catnap and Smile . . . 
Holy Cats . . .  &  How to Smell a Rat 

This is a special little movie starring my New BlanKat, 
Me, and my special blue ball. It was a good time, Kitties. 
A really good time. Alas, my blankat was ripped untimely away till the fleeze are completely gone. Phfffft.

Thanks to my wonderful Royal Pal, Punapippuri, King Kitty Cat of Finland(N)--and to his Aiti, too!

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The Fleeze Report

So, here at the Castle, we continue to wage low-level guerrilla warfare against those insidious little freaks of nature.

The Human vacuums several times a week, and I am brushed and combed within an inch of my life. On her last flea-combing session, she found no fleeze on me, but they do like to hang out in the dark and damp and difficult-to-reach (aka impossible) tender areas. No metal teefs are going to scrape me *there*, no sirree.

I had an Advantage dose yesterday, so we will see how things go. The Human has covered most of my best sleeping places with white dishtowels, the better to easily find the corpses. She also employs a lint roller--no, not on *me*, Sillies, on the surfaces I arise from.

What's next, I ask you: Hazmat suits?

Monday, July 18, 2016

Oh, Give Me a Home . . .

The Human went out to visit my buffalo friends in Golden Gate Park today. 
Most of them were having their dinner, 
but one or two moseyed over to say Hey.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Late Sunday Selfies: Spitty Loves His Red Floofy Ball

And what have we here, my little friends?
Mmmmmm, it smells *delightful*!
It's kind of tasty, too.
Let me just give it a little push here . . . 
Why, I feel like this little sucker could fly!

Thursday, July 14, 2016

How Pinkie Lost His Tailio

Extract from defendant's deposition in the matter of Pinkie v. HRM Spitty I:

Q:  And just how did the plaintiff come to be so grievously & egregiously maimed?

A:  Um, accidents happen.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

I've Heard of Painting the Town Red

but I didn't think 
they meant the streets
for Bast's sake!

Why? Well, who said there had to be a reason?
See more here  and here.  For some crosswalk fun, there's this.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Can You Come Back Later?

Mistress should be resting, Mistress needs to keep up her strength.

My precioussssssss.

Monday, July 11, 2016

S(M)unday Selfie: In the Jungle

¯. . . the mighty jungle
Spittola sleeps tonight . . .

Or perhaps he just stares into the middle distance, pondering the fate of the Universe and the injustice of thumb distribution.

Saturday, July 9, 2016


Onyx is a tiny girl, but earns extra points for being black like all the best-looking kitties. She is very smooth and sleek, not at all floofy like me. 

She is a leetle leery of the Human, although she has known her for her whole life (Onyx's life, that is, not the Human's). She did present herself for pets this evening when the Human arrived.

Which probably is the result of this. The way to a lonely girl's heart is through her tum after all.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

My Friend Vlad, the Voodoo Doll

The Human owned him for about 30 years.
But when *I* came to live here, I adopted him.
This is a semi-permanent Back of Disrespect
because do you see what she did there?

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Toy Joy! Toy Joy! Toy Joy!

Go ahead now: Try reading that title three times very fast, and perhaps you will reach the state of near-Nirvana that I experienced last night when the Human presented me with a V.S.T.*, a dark brown, furry little ball that brought me to new Heights of Playtime Ecstasy! 

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Lullaby and Good Night . . .

All those loud bangs are fading;
Close your eyes, rest your head;
Soft and warm is your bed ...

Yes, I'll sleepO so deep.
Please don't wake me now, Peep!
If you doI promise you,
Biteys will make you weep.

Monday, July 4, 2016

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Sunday Selfie: Me & Old Mr. Blue

Sorry for that weird little black thing at bottom center. It is a little clump of my beautiful furz. (They look best still attached to me, though.)

And then, all worned out, I rested for a bit, contemplating the myriad attractions of that ball.

Friday, July 1, 2016

Once Upon a (Play)time

Hello, Kitties! Thanks for stopping by during my playtime. Feel free to join right in! This is my green fishie toy from fellow Royal Punapippuri. I like to  grab it and hurt it bad, Kitties. I just can't help myself. But it always seems to bounce back to perfect health, ready for another mauling.