Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween, Kitties!

Look! It's ME! About two blocks down from us, some neighbors have constructed a 
Halloween Shrine to Me, Glorious Me! 

Wait--what? Oh, pish-tosh, Human! Of course it's me! What do you mean you think it could be "any" Black Cat? Honestly, have you been into the Halloween Grog already?

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

More Tales of the Fly

    Come to me, ma petite mouche!                               I want to keeeell you and eeeeet you!  

*     *     *     *      *      * 
Well, hello Kitties! Yes, I know I just posted about my awesome Neko Fly, but the Human has been wanting to learn how to make little panels of pictures. If you look back at yesterday's post, she successfully put the logos of the three teams the Giants played in the post-season into one little strip. Today she managed the two pictures above, but she's not thrilled because the lighting is different and I am bigger in the first picture. Sigh
She was imagining that she might be able to make little cartoon strips about my adventures and thoughts, but I see two problems with this: First, she's not so clever as she thinks about telling funny little stories, and second (and more important), she rarely takes pictures of me while I am awake. So it seems to me that most of the little comics would be titled "Sleeping Beauty."

Monday, October 29, 2012

They Got 'er Done!

With a little help from their friends & fans.

Thanks to the Reds, the Cards and the Tigers for lots of good baseball along the way!

Congratulations, San Francisco Giants!

Sunday, October 28, 2012


 iStalk it, iHunt it, iWhap it, iKill it. 
Rinse & repeat. 
It's surprisingly sturdy for a BUG.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Color Me Grumpy

So the Human went to The Holy Temple of PetSmart today (theoretically a good thing), but she decided to "try me out" on some high-end ultra-healthy foods. She figured that since I am more interested in eating now, that she could try to stretch my culinary horizons. Sorry, Homie Don't Play That. Take your $1+ a can miracle fudz and heat it up for yourself, Human. Meanwhile, I'd like my nightly can of Fancy Feast or Whiskas, please, and make it snappy.
On the plus side, she did replenish my favorite crunchies and purchase a couple of toys that appear to have some potential for fun.
Oh, and there seems to be some kind of  ballgame on.

Friday, October 26, 2012

You'll Have to Excuse Me

I'm busy ignoring this tiny string right now. 
I'll get back to you just as soon as I can.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

'Tocktober Double-Wide

Whaaaaat? Surely you did not expect a picture that revealed the shocking vista of my now-missing Naughty Bits. In addition to That Other Outrage, I was also SHAVED, Kitties, in an elongated oval, right around the aforementioned Bits--as though they were making a TARGET, Kitties. Can you even IMAGINE such a thing?

My furs is not yet all growed in to their previously luxuriant bounty, so you will have to content yourselves with this modest and discreet 'Tocktober offering.

N.B.: The Human is stuck at her school Thursday evening until about 8:oo p.m. She may not be "available" to help me visit until tomorrow. Just another outrage. Sigh.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Sleepy Time Boy

I was being all silly and the Human movied me. The Good Part is at the beginning. It gets real boring after that. Sorry I had some eye schmutz. Usually she cleans me up, but she didn't have time.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Play Ball!

Well, Kitties, can't be Wordless today! I may look a bit indifferent, but inside I am PUMPED that the Giants are in the series.

Cody's Detroit Tigers are worthy opponents, who swept those Yanks in four straight--and have been chillin' at home since the 18th, resting their sore muscles and pitching arms, while the Giants battled through six elimination games, finally closing it out in the freezing rain Monday night.

So I say: Bring it on, Tigers! And may the Best Team (The Giants, of course) win!  

And oh yes, a small wager may have been placed. More about that as the Series progresses!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Thunderthighs? Thunderthighs???

She says it's just a new term of affection, like "Lovey Duck," but I Don't Think So. 
And I swear my crunchies portion was smaller this morning.

The Giants Win the Pennant! The Giants Win the Pennant! The Giants Win the Pennant!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Down Under

Why hello, Kitties! I am speaking to you today from the cozy pouch of a friendly 'Roo my beloved Star introduced to me here on this deserted and romantic beach. Isn't Star looking all shy? Well, never judge a book by her cover, ha ha meow!
I teleported down here yesterday--or wait, maybe it was tomorrow? King Spitty gets just the tiniest bit confused when he crosses both the equator and the International Date Line. 
I need to nap in here for just a bit longer before joining the fabulous Beach Pawty thrown by Hostess with the Most-est, Gracie! That Coronation on Caturday was just 'zawsting!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Yesterday, Plain Mr. Black . . .

. . .Today, Mr. Black
King  ofCalifornia (Central)
King Mr. Black

His Majesty's Official Coat of Arms:
The newest member of California's Royal Family 
hails from the fine County of San Luis Obispo,
where wheat and wine grapes abound.
King Mr. Black's Official Coat of Arms 
also features the California Golden Bear.

The new King reluctantly sat for His
Coronation Portrait . . .

                                             . . . then slipped into His favorite fursuit 
                                              and surveyed His lands with satisfaction.

                  The Coronation Oath

Spitty R:  Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the Peoples of Central California and any other part of California that seems to need your Guiding Paw and the other Territories to any of them belonging or pertaining, according to their respective laws and customs?

Mr. Black: I solemnly promise so to do.

Spitty R:  Will you with your Mighty Claws cause Law and Justice, in Mercy, to be executed in all your judgments?

Mr. Black: I will.

R:  Will you to the utmost of your power maintain the Laws of Ceiling Cat? Will you maintain and preserve inviolably the rights of all Kittehs in your charge, ensuring all rights and privileges, as by law do or shall pertain to them or any of them?

Mr. Black: All this I promise to do.

Then Mr. Black, arising up from His Cushion, supported as before, the Great Toys of State being carried before Him, went unto the Mighty Catnip Plant, to make His solemn Oath in the sight of all the Kittehs present: Laying His right Paw upon the Book of Purina (which was before carried in the procession and is now brought from the Catnip Plant by Spitty R and tendered to Him as He reclines upon the steps), He pronounces these words:

Mr. Black: The things which I have here before promised, I will perform and keep. So help me Ceiling Cat.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Peet and Kona

                                         The Human's friends have five-year-old Peet 
                                         (the black-and-white ManCat Licker, above right
                                         and recently adopted Kona (the tabby boy Lickee, 
                                         above left) who is six months. They have become fast 
                                         This is giving the Human Dangerous Ideas, Kitties
                                         Ideas of which I heartily disapprove.

                                         Can you *guess* what they are?

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Help! I'm Melting

Is it winter somewhere? Can I go there?
I'll be a Good Boy, I promise.
I do eat a lot, though.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

We Has the

Hots, Kitties.
I may look all warm and comfertabuls, but the truth is, 
I spent most of the day in the cool, dark corners UTB.

Time was, the heat would obliterate my appetite. 
Today, I plowed my way through my Stinky Goodness 
in record time and then vacuumed up all the crunchies
in my little blue bowl. Good stuff, Kitties, good stuff.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Ain't Too Proud to Beg

I used to be too proud, but, Kitties, not any more. Not.Any.More! After years of rejecting every treat known to kitty-kind, from simple Temptations, to slightly more upscale Greeniesto top-of-the-line Grandma Lucy's Freeze Dried Tuna Cat Treats, my reputation as The Picky Gourmet was firmly established. Spitty does not eat treats: It was like a commandment or something.

But then came last evening, October 15, 2012. In a burst of optimism fueled by my recent interest in food, the Human purchased a bag of Tempting Tuna Flavor Temptations. She waved one under my nose. I was interested, Kitties, I can't deny it. She laid it gently on the floor.

Kitties, I sniffed that thing. I licked it. I picked it up in my mouth and dropped it again. I looked plaintively at the Human.

"Spitty, would you like me to break that up into smaller pieces for you?" she offered.

Duh! Would I ever!

It was delicious. I had several

    Mmmmmm. Tasty!

Monday, October 15, 2012

How Sweet It Is!

Well, Kitties, I don't necessarily think of my Royal Self as sweet, but evidently Mollie and Alfie and Sassy (but NOT Callie*) AND my Good Bud Austin think so! I must say I luffs this awardie because #1) It's my favorite color, and #2) It has all those adorable -- and maybe even tasty? -- cupcakes. The Piggy is my favorite because of my new-found luff for The Fudz, but I also the Panda and the Tiger. The old King Spitty-the-Kitty would have said they were too cute to eat...but the New Me? Well, the new me might bite their little heads clean off!

* Evidently, she Holds A Grudge. Who'd have thunk it? Well, this is for Little Miss Callie:
Press Here

I know I am supposed to pass this awardie along to Five Sweet Kitties, so I will, but I totally release them from any obligation to do anything with it but enjoy it! (And some might already have it.) Here are my Fantastic 5:

                                       Pandafur      Cory      Kassey      Audrey      Willow

P.S. The Celestial kitties point out that what I took to be a Piggy (hey--it's PINK) is in reality probably a Hippo based on its toofs. Well, then, my favorite is The Hippo! 

Sunday, October 14, 2012


Whiskers. Whisker holes. Ear feathers. Little sleep-smile.
Really, my darling LadyCats, what's not to luff here?

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Pardon Me, Does This Rug Make Me Look . . .

. . . Fat?
Well, Kitties, do I have a story for you today! Sit back, pour yourself a nice cold Niptini, and listen to King-Uncle Spittola spin a tale for you. It's about Everykitty's favorite topic: Teh Fudz.
Way back in the dim mists of time (2004),  I was brought here to the Palace as a wee Prince. Ever since, the Human has struggled mightily to get me to eat. Many's the time she's opened two, three, four cans, hoping I might deign to take a nibble from at least one of her pathetic offerings. She would practically weep in frustration when I frequently spurned all the choices, drank a little water, nommed a couple pieces of kibble and that, my Furiends, was that. There were occasional days when even the Gerber's could not tempt me into eating. 
On an average day, maybe half of the half-can I was served for breakfast still remained at 5:00 p.m. For Lo! those many years, I was a very skinny ManCat.
And then came August 21, 2012. You all know the outrage that was perpetrated upon my person on that Day of Infamy (if perchance you do not, go here).
About seven weeks have passed since then, and Kitties, something, something very strange, has gradually come over me. After eight long years of near-complete indifference to food, eight long years as the Prince of Pickiness, the Sultan of Starvation, I, Spitty-the-Kitty, have learned the Joy of Eating. I eat, and I eat, and I eat. I have joined the ranks of the Feline Clean Plate Club.
I have moved from Take it away, Human to Bring it on and the more the better. I sing out proudly:
♫ ♫ Food, glorious food,
We're anxious to try it,
Three banquets a day,
Our favourite diet!
Just picture a great big steak,
Fried, roasted or stewed,
Oh! Food, wonderful food, marvelous food, glorious food! ♫ ♫
* * * * * * *
Many moons ago, Sassy and Callie made me this very cool icon. At the time, I could not find the proper use for it. TODAY, however, I display it with pride:

Friday, October 12, 2012


Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many different ailments, but I have never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.  ~Joseph Wood Krutch

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Perchance to Dream

And ....through a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That fur is heir to—’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished! To sleep.
To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there’s the rub,
For in my nappity-nap what dreams may come
When I have shuffled off the Human's droning voice,
Must give us pause. 

Oh, fine. The Human's kids started Hamlet today. We're all in for a treat now, eh?

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Not-A-Garden-Tour #18

A couple weekends ago, the Human saw fit to abandon me to attend a conference in Monterey at a nice center called Asilomar (notice they never have these conferences in beautiful downtown Stockton, but I digress).  
Because the Asilomar grounds were booked up when she registered, she ended up staying at a tiny motel called the Deer Haven Inn about a block from the grounds. 
It was a sweet little room with a little fireplace--gas, but still! a fireplaceWe don't have even a pretend fireplace so the Human enjoyed it.
As it turned out, the motel was aptly named because across the street, 
Bambi was taking an evening stroll.
The real deal accommodations were in more artistically rustic buildings, of course.
Although she heartlessly left me behind, I did pop down for a quick tour of the beach:
The late-afternoon was gray and cold, but still, the Pacific is the Pacific--
and Monterey Bay's a lot cleaner and more deserted than San Francisco.
Here are some people having a real, non-gas fire!
This nice little walkway stretches a long ways--but it was gray and chilly!
So Kitties, that's our Not-A-Garden-Tour for today!
Hope you enjoyed our little trip to the shore.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Battle of the Lasers

After that TPI (see yesterday's post), I am just the eensiest bit leery of Mr. Magic Fish, so he's been benched for a spell. He has been temporarily replaced in the Toy Rotation by relief toy Neko Fly.

I feel confident I can dispatch Neko with impunity as he's a real lightweight. He does have Lasers of his own, but I believe mine are larger and more deadly.

Anyone care to make a wager?

Monday, October 8, 2012


After the Traumatic Piscatorial Incident (TPI), I felt drained of all vitality and vigor;  Kitties, I needed a good long session in my pink beddy to restore my mojo
I am glad to say it worked! Spitty is once again in the Pink and ready for some ManCatly action.
Anyone need an adventurer today?

Sunday, October 7, 2012

My Fishie Tried to Kill Me

The Innocent Victim

The Wicked Perpetrator

The Safe Refuge

Kitties! You have *no idea* how close Spitty the Kitty, King of California and the Western Lands, Prince of Kiimamaa, came to Meeting His Maker Friday night.
The Human was kindly, albeit inattentively, playing Magic Fishie with Yours Truly.
She was maintaining only a loose hold on her end of the toy, while I was storming the Business End with all my considerable might. Suddenly, her end was wrested violently from her control and that thing whapped and slapped and wrapped itself around me like a skinny black boa constrictor! 
Kitties, I was trapped! Trapped, I say, in the clutches of that Mad Fish.
I don't mind telling you, I went all kray-kray with fear and frenzy. I raced to and fro, that THING dangling and clattering every which way but loose, and dived UTB to calm myself and consider my horrible plight.
Evidently that didn't go very well, because only two minutes later I shot out from UTB, still enveloped  in the clutches of You-Know-Who. The Human heard tremendous thumping and clattering and then I disappeared UTB for a second, and lengthier, stay.
I re-emerged about 15 minutes later, only slightly rumpled. My dignity was restored. I was, after all, pawloose and fishie-free.  
The Human found The Wicked Attack-Fishie lying limply near my kitty tower, bloodied but unbowed. We both survived to battle another day.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

I'm No Angel/Something for Efurryone

For those of you who would enjoy a Sunday Catinee (sorry for plagiarizing your phrase, Sparkle):

And for those of you who don't feel like watching a movie:

And for those of you who want to see a cool cake celebrating Fleet Week, the America's Cup, the Baseball playoffs [Go Giants!] and the Angels:

And for those of you who absolutely, positively have to see the Kitteh: