Saturday, October 13, 2012

Pardon Me, Does This Rug Make Me Look . . .

. . . Fat?
Well, Kitties, do I have a story for you today! Sit back, pour yourself a nice cold Niptini, and listen to King-Uncle Spittola spin a tale for you. It's about Everykitty's favorite topic: Teh Fudz.
Way back in the dim mists of time (2004),  I was brought here to the Palace as a wee Prince. Ever since, the Human has struggled mightily to get me to eat. Many's the time she's opened two, three, four cans, hoping I might deign to take a nibble from at least one of her pathetic offerings. She would practically weep in frustration when I frequently spurned all the choices, drank a little water, nommed a couple pieces of kibble and that, my Furiends, was that. There were occasional days when even the Gerber's could not tempt me into eating. 
On an average day, maybe half of the half-can I was served for breakfast still remained at 5:00 p.m. For Lo! those many years, I was a very skinny ManCat.
And then came August 21, 2012. You all know the outrage that was perpetrated upon my person on that Day of Infamy (if perchance you do not, go here).
About seven weeks have passed since then, and Kitties, something, something very strange, has gradually come over me. After eight long years of near-complete indifference to food, eight long years as the Prince of Pickiness, the Sultan of Starvation, I, Spitty-the-Kitty, have learned the Joy of Eating. I eat, and I eat, and I eat. I have joined the ranks of the Feline Clean Plate Club.
I have moved from Take it away, Human to Bring it on and the more the better. I sing out proudly:
♫ ♫ Food, glorious food,
We're anxious to try it,
Three banquets a day,
Our favourite diet!
Just picture a great big steak,
Fried, roasted or stewed,
Oh! Food, wonderful food, marvelous food, glorious food! ♫ ♫
* * * * * * *
Many moons ago, Sassy and Callie made me this very cool icon. At the time, I could not find the proper use for it. TODAY, however, I display it with pride:


Anonymous said...

nice icon, and no, the rug totally doesn't make you look fat :)

Hey those is the food I sees at the store:)

Cathy Keisha said...

HAH! That's what happens after you get tutored. I was gonna warn you. OTOH, can humans never be pleased?? She was upset when you wouldn't eat, now she's complaining cos you do eat. My peeps do the same things.

Unknown said... thoughts yous felt a little more um, er, fluffy, when wes had a cuddle this week, but me did not want to say anything.
Spitty, has yous thought about er, um, erercise?

Summer at said...

My human WISHES that had happened when I was spayed so many years ago, but I started off as a picky eater, remained a picky eater afterwards and to this day, almost a decade later, continue to shun every attempt of my human's to get me over the 6 lb. mark.

Must be the genes.

Angel Simba said...

That is quite a turnaround you describe.But you are looking good, friend. Even though I was tutored before coming to live here, I still believe in the principle of leaving some food in the bowl no matter what. And in being at least somewhat picky about what I will eat. But I have my humans pretty well trained now as to which cans to buy and which I won't be likely to eat.

Mr. Black said...

I'll have to delve into your previous posts to read the gory details of what happened, although I have a pretty good idea. You're lucky it didn't happen a lot sooner than that, if it's what I think it is.

I, too love the "Classics." I don't eat any of that other stuff you like, only the Classics. I get top of the line kibble, but only a tablespoon of a Classic.

You don't look fat to me. You look similar to me. Heh.

Angel Prancer Pie said...

Way to go Spit! You are startin to fill out a little. We can't haf you half starvin yourself. What would the ladeez say?

The Furries of Whisppy said...

MORE Spitty to go around! MOL.

All of us love our Mommy's delight. We eat the food that is placed before us because if it isn't gone in 10 mins, the WHOLE BOWL is gone until the next meal (we only get fed twice a day). No amount of crying and whining will get us even a morsel until the next mealtime. If we're lucky, we might get a treat but that's it. Consider yourself lucky, Spitty!

Catio Tales said...

King Spitty, you should realise the rug has shrunk.
But we are glad you are eating more (but do realise that the food doesn't get stored in the empty little sacs you now have - nothing except a pair of neuticles will fill those again, hehehehe). But Ă„iti is so pleased with you and is telling me I must follow your example as apparently I eat too little. I'm not picky -I ignore everything. She despairs of me. I don't even like temptations/Dreamies whatever they are called in your world.
But you are looking good my friend - just keep exercising and developing muscle: it will keep you fit and healthy for a winter trip to your Finnish realms. We had great northern lights last night and were watching them from the catio!

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

Dear Spittikins, Marley has suggested that you and I esplore his ceiling hide-away. I HAVE been there and it is great.

I think he is invitin you to be a CIL!


Fuzzy Tales said...

This is good news, Spitty! Better a pound too heavy than being least your body has resources to call on when you're sick. (The generic "you and "you're") of course.

Well, this our excuse anyway, for a pound...or two...of extra food stored on *our* bodies!

CATachresis said...

No longer Spitty, but Slurpy!! You can carry a few extra pounds at your age! Makes you look stinguished!!?! The rug obviously needs some time with a personal trainer though! ;)

Kjelle Bus aka Charlie Rascal said...

Purrfect icon that Sassy and Callie gave you :)
And that rug does not make you any justice at all !!
You area purrfectly mancat in your best years !!

Mollie said...

Oh Spitty, wez sure glad youz now enjoying your grub :) Yes ya bum does look big..BOL Have a great Sunday xx00xx P's love that award fingy :)

Pandafur said...

Yay fur liking teh fudz! I still duzn't eat teh wet noms evar, unless its strawberry ice cream on a spoon, I licks a tiny bit cuz I needs to watch mai figyure. I do thinks you cud use a few extra ownsis just to fluff you owt an makes you sooper cuddly *purrrr*

The Island Cats said...

Haha! Spitty,, that's one of the advantages of being tutored. The downside is you start getting ::whispering:: fat.

And then the humans cut you back on all that glorious food. Ah, it's a double-edged sword.

Fr. Tom Fish said...

The rug flatters your visage, your royal highness..hehe

We're glad you went from picky to enjoying food and we love your icon, Spitty.


Cory said...

Oooohhhh we love Fancy Feast Classics...we might just teleport over for dinner! If you ever swing by for dinner here at Casa de Cory we have a cupboard full of your favorite foods.



Cat and DOG Chat With Caren said...

MOL! So glad you have joined the ranks for Fud Luvers!!

My Angel Bobo was a Fancy Feast and Whiskas freak!

Anonymous said...

huh. i likes to eat little micro-scopic portions as well. keeps me svelte and ninja-esque, i fink. also, no times to eat, really - busy prowler that i am. but, wuteva. you is King and all. u can jest roll all over teh rug and show it whoz boss. cuz you is, Mr. Bon Apetit. you is teh boss o' that fud bowl.

GLOGIRLY said...

Ah, better not sing too loudly or you'll learn pretty quickly what the rest of us "tutored" or "fixeded" kitties know. That ole metabolism decides to take a nap and them WHAMMO! You're on a (gasp!) diet!

That's what happened to ME!
So beware. You might have to start working out.

; ) Katie

Katie Isabella said...

Spitty, you look MAHVUHLUSS! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I think you look stately and regal. Not to mention very good! Handsome. Scrumptious. Snuggable. Cuddlesome,and like the epitome of a King both here in this Country and Finland. A worthy specimen with none better.

PeeEss: As you know since we have shared it, I eat Fancy Feast Sliced. I fink Classic is pate? Let's crack a jar of Hams and talk it over.

Shaggy and Scout said...

Food, Glorious Food!

Seville at Nerissa's Life said...

Oh Spitty... you've got your own royal thing-a-ma-gig just like Queen Elizabeth. You could get Friskies and Whiskers to put it on their tins! purrs

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

First things first, no, that rug does not make you look fat, it makes you look furry and silky and fluffy!
Second, I don't know a single mancat who's gone through what you did (as an older, not as a baby) who didn't blow up almost right away. Most of them lose it, but some remain... shall we say ..enhanced. MOL
You, my dear King Spitty, look marvelous!

Star says: More to love, darling Spitty. Can I come share your rug and a snuggle?

GreatGranny said...

Handsome Spitty, you're not fat, just floofy and furry sleek.
xoxo Kassey

Kat said...

Hi Spitty! Ash here to say that you are simply handsome all the way :) we agree with Kassey--that's not 'fat' we see, but pure hansome Spitty-ness :) purrrs and kisses xx xx

Anonymous said...

You can handle having a tummy Spitty, you are still very mancatly! And that rug needs to have more of your furrs on it, so roll baby, roll!

Ivan from WMD said...

Do you know how long it takes us to eat one teensy can of FF? Days! Days, for the four of us!

And why? Because two out of three dinners Pee won't eat, and even though she screams for food, Caroline won't eat at all. So that leaves the burden of the can to me and Russell.

Now, Russell is a Hoover, and he will wolf-and-yak if he gets too much. Me, I prefer the gravy only. So cans last for days.

And I bet your human doesn't say, "I'm sorry you're so fat, honey" like *some* moms.

Mariodacat said...

Oh buddy - you are headed for trouble. I was like that then I developed a taste for food - now I don't want to go without anything to eat at all. I'm a cat pig! M's had me on a tied for a year now and I managed to gian 3 pounds. Yup - she says I'm going to have to cut back even more. Good luck pal.

Katie Isabella said...

MOL at Mariodacat's comment.

Willow said...

Spitty you look just purrfect with the extra floof it makes you more lovable for cuddles from all the admiring ladycats.

meowmeowmans said...

We kind of like that there's a little bit more Spitty to go around, 'cause we love you, pal! :)