Friday, May 31, 2013

Yo, Human!

Can't you see I'm bored?
C'mon! Play with me!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Waiting Among the Trees

You will be mine, Bouncy Mousie, you will be mine.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Merci beaucoup, mon ami

Texas, j'aime mes livres de poèmes! 
Nous allons partager avec le professeur de français à l'école.
You are most kind and generous, my furiend!
~ They are truly books fit for un roi ~

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
In the jungle the quiet jungle
The panther sleeps tonight

* When Sparkle's right, she's right, MOL!

Monday, May 27, 2013

Oh C'mon!

                                      I don't want to hear any "Ewwwwwwws" from the Peanut Gallery--
                                      Like you've never done this? 
                                      Sheesh, she should be glad these were old shoes, 
                                      and that I had not eaten my breakfast yet!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Mad ManCat Monday

Kitties, wouldn't you think what with all the shenanigans of the past week that the Human would be paying me a good deal more attention, rather than gallivanting off to wedding showers and movies? Seriously?
Surely you can see how angry I am in my picture today, refusing to look at her and staring stonily into the distance? Yes, I know I appear comfortable in my soft beddy, and my furs are all floofed after a gentle brushing, and I am well-fed and sleepy . . . but still! Fury seethes in my savage breast . . . Oh, all right then . . . Fuggedaboudit.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Schmoozing with Stampo

Spitty:  Well, Stampo, my week of mischief was pretty fun, wasn't it?
Stampo:  I guess so, but since I didn't get in on any of it, I wouldn't know.
Spitty:  Listen, little buddy, I got me some more ideas. You want in on them this time?
Stampo:  Do I! Does a Trout Town Tabby love his trout?
Spitty:  Say, you got any spare thumbs I could borrow?
Stampo:  I don't think so, but can I come in your tent and help you scheme?
Spitty:  All in good time, little one, all in good time. For now, could you bring me my toonas and the pink mousie?

Friday, May 24, 2013

Mischief Managed

Heh heh. It's been a fun week, Kitties, 
even though most of you all got all scoldy with me 
about Friday's Mischief!
C'mon! You didn't think Spitty was really going to go up in smoke, 
did you? You know I just loves to scare my Human!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Spitty's Week'o'Mischief: Friday

It's kind of CHILLY here today. 
I've seen the Human use these all the time
to make a nice little fire atop a candle.
But really, a candle flame is such a small fire! 
I bet I could start a merry blaze right here in my tent. 
I don't really think I need a Human to do it for me, either--oh those Humans. 
They're sooooo smug about their "opposable thumbs"! 
Like we kitties just can't do nuffing with our clever little paws
Well, I guess I'll show her!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Spitty's Week'o'Mischief: Thursday

Silly Human!
Who needs to get up at 5:30 a.m.? I think I'll just do her a favor 
and reset this little clock to go off at 9:00 a.m. instead.

She'll feel sooooo much more rested today!
Really. She'll be so grateful for the extra sleep!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Spitty's Week'o'Mischief: Wednesday

I think this green paper stuff just causes endless troubles 
for the Human and others. 
Probably best if I just take it and use it 
for my nappy and then put it away somewhere
where the Human won't be bothered by it anymore. 
That is best, don't you think?

Monday, May 20, 2013

Spitty's Week'o'Mischief: Tuesday

*I* certainly can't help it if somehow her stockings ended up 
on my scratching post! I think they accidentally wrapped themselves 
around my tailio while I was napping in the bedroom. 
Hey, she doesn't like to wear them anyway! 
If they happen to end up full of holes, she can't wear them, right? 
She should THANK me!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Spitty's Week'o'Mischief: Monday

She'll never find them here! 
And if she can't find them, she can't leave for work, 
so she'll have to stay home, and do my bidding all day long!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Easy Sunday

I am sooooooooo comfertabuls!
And I am looking forward to a week of mischief 
after having been down for the count: 
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

Friday, May 17, 2013


Hi Kitties, At heart, Spitty's a forgiving kind of guy, 
so I have resumed my rightful place in my chair 
next to the Human's and am no longer displaying the Back of Disrespect
I've purred loudly when correctly petted 
and tolerated a certain amount of cuddling.
At this point, I think that's as much or more
than the Human has any right to expect.

The Human and I want to say a resounding 
Thank You 
to all our furiends who have wished me well
during this Week of My Discontent. 
You are the Best!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Window Dressing

Outrage + 48 hours. 
It is a gray and drizzly day, reflecting my dreary mood.  
My fur is poop-free, I have nibbled on my morning foods, 
I have enjoyed some brushies.
The Human greets me cheerfully, just as though she had not
abandoned me to a cruel fate at the hands of that perky witchdoctor.
I ponder my fate.

P.S. I apologize to any furiend who was worried, No, I did not have to return to the Stabby Place--the picture yesterday was just my inspection of that Ebil Transport. Also, we 'pologizes for not visiting the last couple of days. We'll be back in the groove by Caturday! XOXOXO

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Charon's Ferry

Hell, Party of One! Now boarding! Hell, Party of One!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Sweet Retreat

A rare glimpse of Felis Catus in his secure hideaway. 
Where he plans to stay. For a long, long, l-o-n-g time.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Under the Weather

The Human thinks I've been sluggish and off my feed not quite myself, so she plans to shove me in the PTU and convey me to the Stabby Place in the morning.
We'll just see about THAT, won't we? The last time this happened, I lost a couple of valuable body parts. There's really nuffing left for them to hack off, right?

Update: I am being held hostage for the day at Park Animal Hospital on 9th Avernue in San Francisco. My Human has abandoned me here. Please, I beg you, send someone to help me! Jack Bauer would be good.  

Update: Hour 7 of my captivity. Terrible and humiliating things have been perpetrated upon my person. Gas was administered. Anal gland abscesses were mentioned. Jack Bauer has not arrived. I am growing desperate. More to follow.

Update: I have been liberated. Explosive pooping was achieved inside the carrier on my way home. I revel in it and resist all efforts to "clean me up," preferring to accomplish this myself by rolling on the Human's bedspread. Ahhh, sweet revenge! More to follow.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Sunny Sunday

Well, it was. . .sadly, not today, though.
The Human's work is still interfering with my blogging and visiting.
Napping is about the only activity that has been unaffected
by her gross neglect of my needs. Sigh.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Does She or Doesn't She?

deserve a "Mother's Day" gift, that is? 
And if she does, what should it be? 
I have the cards ready to swipe, but I'm torn.
A new tray for my food bowls? a Drinkwell fountain? a larger-but-still-cozy
bed for me? a whole peacock's worth of fev-vers for playtime?

Oh wait. . . the present should be for her, you say? 
Well, how about an iron? or a new alarm clock?
Those should make her happy, don't you think?

Friday, May 10, 2013

Of Course You May Kiss My Paw

if you are in the market for a free nose-piercing.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

I Feel Pretty

Oh, so pretty, 
I feel pretty and witty and bright
And I pity 
Any Cat who isn't me tonight.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Pardon Me

but these curtains haven't seen an iron 
in a long time, have they?

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Monday, May 6, 2013

A Good Picture, Spoiled

Heh, heh.  You may wonder why the Human was so eager to post this rather pedestrian, poorly lit, boring picture, with the table full of messy papers and the chair covering all askew (that chair covering is another sore point, by the way, but that's a story for another time). So here's the picture:
The reason it is blog-worthy (in her opinion, not mine) is that in all the many years I have been in captivity here lived here, she has never seen me sit on this little table. But guess what? While she hightailed it to get the Flashy Box, I moved! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Look

that usually gets me whatever it is I want.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Morning Patrol with U-Turn

So, there I was on morning patrol, when--uh-oh!--
Human with Flashy Box
causing me to reverse course and enjoy my view 
into the neighbors' backyard for awhile.

Friday, May 3, 2013

My Dream House

Kitties! Have you ever seen such a beauteous home? This Dream House is near the Human's school in the Noe Valley neighborhood of San Francisco. I would be okay with even a mural in the hallway, though really I'd like her to paint the whole building like these right-thinking people did.

P.S. May and early June are the Human's most horrible work time and she is "so busy" that she is not helping me visit as much as I would like. It's just another outrage is what it is, but what recourse do I have? Sigh.