Monday, December 9, 2019

Many Nights Before Christmas

The kitty was nestled all snug in his bed;
While visions of salmons danced in his head

Hello, my friends! Once again yada yada yada. I am stymied at every turn. Sigh.

Please note: That is not ear dandruff--it is little flakes from my thyroid medicine that gets rubbed in my sweet little earsicle.

I'm working on her, but it's slow going and she is a poor student. Purry greetings for Kitties and Humans, too.




Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Happy Thanksgiving, Kitties and Humans!

So while she's out cavorting with friends and making a little piggy of herself with a turkey, I will make myself comfortable on the beddy and dream of leftovers. I hope you all have a happy day and plenty of treats with gravy. 
♥ We are so thankful for all of you 

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Sunday Selfie on Tuesday:
Spitty Don't Live by No Calendar

November sunpuddles? Fine by me. 
Sunday Selfie on Tuesday? Yep, bring it on!
The Humans are such bean counters. It's a shame.

Saturday, November 23, 2019

I Finally Understand the Expression


"He just lost his head!"
I do hope it'll turn up by dinnertime though.

Sunday, November 10, 2019

Sunday Selfie: Satisfying Sunpuddle

We're having a kinda weird November, but there's never a bad time for a sunpuddle, right? Climate change, you say? Oh pish-tosh! Let me sleep on it.

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Remember Moi?

Why of course you do. I'm that wonderful mancat with the exceptionally stoopy and inept Human. That's right, now you've got it!
We've been on an (involuntary on my part) extended break, to the point where some of our friends think we've dropped off the edge of the continent into the cold Pacific and  been stranded on a desert island somewhere. I wish! At least that would be exciting.
But here I am. Hoping against hope that she'll get her ample butt in gear. Meanwhile, I doze placidly atop my little tower and brood over the injustices of the world.

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Sunday Selfie: Why Hello There, Human

Whatcha got for me?




























Nothing? Nothing you say? 
Well, then, buzz off, Peasant! The King was napping.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Thankful Thursday

I really did not enjoy my trip to the Stabbyplace last month, and I am not looking forward to my return visit for a blood test to make sure I am getting the right dose of the thyroid meds, but I think I have managed to forgive the Human for taking me there. I am feeling really good now!

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

(Sorta) Wordless Wednesday

I'm really
not very interested
in whatever nonsense you're spouting, Human.

Sorry, not sorry.

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Sunday Selfie: Spitty's in Training























Even when I slumber, I am practicing to be a new Nyan Cat. 
I think my form is improving every day.

Thursday, October 10, 2019

The Pause that Refreshes

Credit where credit is due. 
She brought me kitty grass today. 
His Majesty is nothing if not fair.

Monday, October 7, 2019

(Belated) Sunday Selfie:
Do I Have to Do Everything Myself?


Oh, Huuuuuuuuuman? Could you please 
remove Stampo? He's cramping my sleep style.
All right, fine! But next time . . . 
Well, let's just say it's a l-o-n-g way down!


Thursday, October 3, 2019

Who Needs a Pillow?






















Now that she has bowed to the inevitable, the aforementioned pillow is mine. 
So of course I am not going to use it anymore.

Monday, September 30, 2019

Mine, All Mine

Last week, when I was so very ill, the Human would give me whatever I wanted, and what I wanted was a bed pillow. Of course she was more than happy to provide it. She even changed the pillowcase for me.

Now, apparently, she thinks I should give it back so she can replace it on the bed, where, may I say, there are already three pillows.

Well, you know what? I like it. I don't wanna give it back.


*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
P.S. from the Human:
Thank you so much, Kitties and Humans, for your lovely messages. It was a pretty scary week, all right, and it is really great to have him feeling good again. 
I'm not sure he gets to keep the pillow though.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Sunday Selfie: That Was the Week That Was


Can we talk?

Oh my goodness, Kitties, this was a drama-filled week, and no, I am not talking about the Humans Misbehaving Themselves in Washington, D.C. either.

I am talking about the heart-stopping brush with mortality yours truly experienced from Monday - Thursday of this past week.

I got sick. And I mean sick. I was limp and listless and without appetite Monday, so I got carted off to the stabbyplace where I was a Very Bad Boy indeed and, as usual, had to be knocked out. They stole my bloods and other precious bodily fluids, and gave me shots and finally allowed me to go home.

The verdict was I had a heart murmur (perhaps caused, or at least exacerbated, by the horrific heat and stress), a fever (who knows why?), dehydration (cf. the Heats), hyperthyroid, and a few other random old-man-cat things probably of not too much importance. 

I refused to eat or play or even purr or enjoy my brushies. All day Tuesday and Wednesday, the Human was beyond distraught, convinced that I was going to cross that Bridge

Miraculously, during the wee hours of Thursday morning, as the temperature plummeted, I decided: "Huh. I'm hungry." And within 24 hours I completely returned to normal.

The Human says I'm now on medication for my thyroid--but because it's a cream she rubs into my inner ear, I don't even really know it. I eat, I pee and poop, I play, I nap comfortably, I converse with her, and I purr like a champ.

She was a hot mess, of course, and now she's driving me crazy with Too Much Snuggling. But honestly, I do feel sorry for her. I'm going to try to be a little nicer to her.

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Sunday Selfie: A Bad Movie About Me

I know, it seems like an oxymoron, doesn't it? 
But the Human is so sadly out of practice (and she was inept at her best) that she has managed to make a 20-second film for our Sunday Selfie, in which The Star (aka Me) languishes out of frame for a good seven or eight seconds, while my loyal viewers will be looking at the rug. 
No worries though, I pop up again for a strong finish!


Thursday, September 19, 2019

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

The Human thinks I am a little obsessed with having my scratcher 
on the bed by the windows. She's not wrong
Now, if I could only get her to bring my breakfast to me here. 
I mean, is that asking so very much?

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Sunday Selfie: We Had the Hots

But now it is cooler. As you can see, the warms weren't all bad! I'm still working on that comfortable project, too.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Spittola, the Bagman

So the Human delivers groceries for Meals on Wheels, and she's supposed to fold all the bags so they can be reused the following week.
Because she is so lay-zee, she often forgets and then she has two weeks' worth to fold.
Yours truly does nuffing to help, you understand, but I do enjoy taking a lot of entertaining sniffs and generally getting in the way
She says "Spitty!" in an annoyed tone, but honestly, what is she gonna do about it? Shove me aside? Not unless she wants her eyes clawed out.

And Thank You all for your kind words about our Lord Chancellor. The Human showed the blog post to his Dad today and he was very touched and grateful.

Friday, August 30, 2019

Vaya Con Dios, My Lord Chancellor

Our beloved friend Fritzie, 19, our stalwart Lord Chancellor, was helped across the Bridge yesterday. His loving and devoted dad and the Human stayed with him to supply plenty of love and brushies and gentle pets as he embarked on his journey. Fritzie was a Very Good Boy and a most excellent Lord Chancellor of the Realm. As you can see in the portrait above, taken August 7, he was a handsome and imperial ManCat. There was a notable ripple in the force as he took flight, and I know he'll be waiting for me when it is My Time. We'll love you always, Fritzie.

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Sunday Selfie: I Can't Heeeeear You

So, as you can see, I no longer have ears. But no mind.  No, I have bigger problems than that, Kitties. Yes, you got it in one: Since last Sunday, we posted once. Once. She says it's better than zero
I say that's one heck of a low bar, my furiends, the lowest of the low. However, my moustachios are looking pretty delightful, don't you think?

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

The Troof, the Whole Troof
& Nuffing But the Troof


All right, all right! I confess. I did! I did do it!

But it was still ALL HER FAULT.

For some unfathomable reason, she picked me up like a sack of potatoes and started carting me around the house with her. By the time we got to the kitchen, I had had it with the sightseeing tour and made a break for it.

Can anyone blame me if I used the palm of her hand as my launch pad?

I rest my case.

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Sunday Selfie: The Fault Lies Not In Our Stars

And most certainly not in Yours Truly, my friends.
*I* had nuffing to do with it. 
Nope. It is All.Her.Own.Fault.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

(Not Very) Wordless Wednesday

 I do appreciate that she has moved one of my favorite things (my precious scratcher
onto the bed where I have easy access for my all-important sharpening needs, 
and also that she has given up even trying to make the pillows unavailable to me. 
It was a futile effort on her part, I assure you.
I may be getting ::ahem::  a little elderly, but please note the
excellent form and balance required for this efficient bathing pose.
Baffing is a serious pursuit for all of us, but sometimes events transpire outside the window that demand even the most crucial activities be interrupted for a good, long stare.

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Sunday Selfie:
I Am a Metaphor

I don't even know what she is blabbing on about.  Everything that comes out of her mouth is gibberish to me.

She says just as I am half-in/half-out of my favorite pink beddie, we are half-in/half-out of my blog. (And I say: Speak for yourself, Human!)

So I have made a Deal with the Devil: She says we can try posting three days a week and see how that goes. The next step in the negotiations is which days. I say Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. She says that's not three. But I say, Yes it is. 

Thursday, August 8, 2019

Hello, Friends: Long Time, No See

Well, isn't this another fine mess the Human's gotten me into? 

We are fine! Well, let me clarify: She is fine. I am, well, perhaps miffed is the word I seek. I admit I am well-fed, and played with, and cuddled and cooed to, and the recipient of a decent amount of laptime. 

But the blog, Kitties! My precious blog!

It has slipped precipitously on her list of priorities, further even than the Dow Jones on a bad day! Below YouYube, and going on walks, and seeing movies, and going out for adult beverages with her stoopy Human friends, and her volunteer gigs, and even freaking Netflix for Bast's sake.

So what's an overgrown kitten to do? So far, I sit on her lap and get brushies while she catches up with Orange Is the New Black.

But it is UNsatisfying. I need to, shall we say, motivate her. She has made a few spotty attempts to up our game, but they don't last and she doesn't help me visit.

I need a Plan.  Stay tuned.

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

See?

If I want to, I can be a most excellent boy and not rip up the chair at all; well, at least not anywhere she can see it right away.
Special thanks to Miss Megan, who pointed out that the colorful chair is mine to do with as I please, and to Teddy who pointed out that the Old Bat was teasing me into whapping her. 
And to think that the politicians complain about biased reporting!

Sunday, July 21, 2019

The Human Says, "This is why we can't has nice things"

And I say, "Oh pish-tosh, old bat. It's just a chair."

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Camouflage: I'm Doin' It Wrong

I think I blend in, like a nice throw pillow, but she only laughs and mocks me.

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Catching Up

Well, Kitties, it has been forever! And this time there's an explanation in addition to laziness, which of course still played a role (surprise, surprise, surpriiiiise!)

Last week, our trusty 6-year-old Dell suffered a startling mental and physical collapse! So after recovering from the shock, the Human rolled out the elderly Chromebook and finally located a nearby guy who wonder-of-wonders believed in fixing things rather than simply landfilling them.

So after a week of fretting (her) and peacefully napping (me) we fetched it yesterday afternoon. And for less than $200, we has a clean, refreshed, repaired laptop with a new solid-state hard drive, restored data (ALL OF IT, and yay for that), and a bunch of other stuffs I don't understand. Also, Windows 10, which does not make her happy as she loved her Windows 7, which apparently Microsoft will no longer support after January, 2020.

The biggest casualty was Photoshop Elements, but the Human started practicing today with a free online version and so far she thinks it might work once she learns more. A lot more. I will let her figure all that out because for sure I know the problem is not with the always-handsome and photogenic subject of the photos.

Sometimes it's best to be the one without the thumbs, right, Kitties?

Friday, July 5, 2019

Remember Me?

I wouldn't blame you if the answer were a resounding "No."

I hardly even know myself these days.

She's fine, I'm fine, everything's fine. She just seems to have angst about lending me her fingers when I really, really need them.

Sunday, June 30, 2019

Sunday Selfie: Better Late Than Never

Thank Cod this week is visitorless. At least I think it is. She can't have more stray friends or cousins lurking about, can she? I mean, I need my rest and privacy if I am to focus on being so purrfectly furry and well-balanced, whisker-wise.

Friday, June 28, 2019

The Intruder Returns: I Think I Like Him Now


So Cousin Jim, the Intruder, was here this week. For whatever unknowable reasons, I decided that he's not so bad after all.

In fact, I played with him, hung out with him, even attempted to sleep with him. But he pushed me off the bed.

Twice.  

Still, mostly he was very nice and friendly to me.




After he left, I was all tuckered out, and even a little melancholy. But the Human petted me and told me what a very good boy I am, and then I took a nice nap and forgot all about him. 

Sunday, June 23, 2019

(Shared) Sunday Selfie: Two Floofsters

On the principle of Ladies First (and may I observe what a silly principle that is), here is Jane, the Canine Viceroy, ensconced on the lap of her beloved dad. The discerning may note that she is making lovey eyes at my Human at the same time.

Of course I have saved the Best for Last. Even though this is one of those objectionable "She-snuck-up-behind-me-while-I -was-napping" photos, I find the texture and abundance
of my floof most pleasing and so am inclined to overlook her intrusion into my personal space.


Saturday, June 22, 2019

A Gift from the Bitee

Apparently the Guest I Bit realizes that The Incident was all her fault, and so she sent me these wonderful scratchers. The Human says I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, however, and she had to forcibly grab me and smoosh my furry face into the plastic bristles. I enjoyed it (except the being manhandled part) but she says I have not *quite* got the hang of it yet.* To be fair, I think it was pretty darn nice of her to have sent me a present. She must have stopped bleeding.
* [He is evidently too stoopy to understand he can get the brushies all by himself. --Ed.]

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Examining My Conscience

The Human said my penance was to examine my conscience 
and then say six Hail Marys and promise not to bite the guests 
anymore. We'll see.
So yesterday, an animal-loving friend of the Human's came over for the first time. She had heard about me for many years, but had never actually met me (and frankly, I wasn't sure I was going to feel like showing myself until I had seen and heard and smelled her and decided *I* wanted to meet *her*).

Surprisingly, she looked and sounded and smelled okay, so I made an appearance. I even walked up and gave her some good
sniffs. She was enchanted with me (as who would not be?) and I with her (well, as enchanted as I get with Other Humans). 

My Human handed her my favorite brush, and I was ecstatic! Until I wasn't and, yes, I put the bitey on her. Evidently, the Human considered that very extremely naughty host behavior.  I drew blood too, though to be fair the visitor was, like the Human, rather an Old Lady and is it my fault they have paper-thin old-lady skin?

Our gracious visitor took it in stride and apologized to me for doing the brushies wrong. I magnanimously forgave her as the Human fetched the Bactine and a Band-Aid.

What a bunch of crybabies Humans are! 

Friday, June 14, 2019

Calm, Cool, Cozy & Cute

The *Human* thought this picture made me look all snuggly and adorable in our now-very-cool weather. *I* think it also makes me look rather ill-proportioned (which I assure you is far from the truth--I am purrfectly proportioned as you all know). In any event, Yours Truly is One Happy Boy today!