Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Why, hello Kitties!

How do you like my giant paw? The better to smack the Human around with when she misbehaves, as she did last week when she ran off without permission.

I have accepted her back (conditionally) into my life, and am allowing her to feed, pet and brush me. I still glare at her from time to time, lest she forget how deeply she wronged me, or how much atoning she has yet to do.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Yes, Human, I know it's your finger

under there, but I still want to kill it. Okay by you?

Sunday, November 28, 2010

We're baaaaaaack

Hi Kitties!  Well, the Human did return this afternoon, after what she called a "harrowing" half hour over the Siskiyou summit, followed by many long boring hours through the long boring valley. I think she's just a wuss, to tell you the truth.

Not to mention, she's driving, for Bast's sake, and she decides to take a freaking picture through the car window!?

Also, while I was languishing here at home, she was cavorting with the Oregon Cousins, Buddy...
...and Nigel:

As you can see, they have not missed many meals up there. Or maybe it's all "floof" -- yeah, that's it. Floof.

Me? Well, I'm the forgiving sort (if there's Stinky Goodness and plenty of brushies involved, that is.) We'll be back to visiting tomorrow.

Saturday, November 27, 2010


The Human informs me that she will NOT be arriving this evening as expected, and I am to spend yet ANOTHER lonely night, even as the neighbors lavish care upon me. Sigh.

The white stuff is falling and falling and falling where she is, making the roads (temporarily, it is to be hoped) impassable. So now she says she'll be home tomorrow.

For DAYS, I have been prevented from visiting my friends. She has a LOT to answer for!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


I know what this is and I don't approve. Not even the tiniest bit. I definitely do not recall having given the Human permission for a "trip" of any sort.

This can mean only one thing: Abandonment. She says it will be only for a few days, she says she will be back by Sunday, she says the neighbors will visit me and feed me twice a day, but she says a lot of things that turn out not to be true.


Monday, November 22, 2010

Good Day, Sunshine

Ah, so comfertabuls! 

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Nommability (n.)

Nommability is the state of being nommable. Nommability is measured not only by the freshness, texture and flavor of the food item in question, but also by the attractiveness of the presentation. Today's breakfast, for example, scored a 9.5 on the freshness/texture/flavor scale, but only a 5 on the presentation scale (although the tray was clean, it was conspicuously missing its brightly-colored placemat, which remains in the Human's laundry basket, unwashed, for the second week in a row). Thus, the overall nommability rating of breakfast today was 7.25, bringing it just barely into the "Acceptable" category.

You gotta do better than this, Human.

Friday, November 19, 2010

That Was The Week That Was

And Oh, Bast! is the Human ever glad it's over!  There'll no doubt be worse to come, but that's a problem for another day.  She couldn't quite make the right face, so I've done it for her! What a good boy am I!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Dear Kitties,

The Human has had the audacity to tell me she has been too "exhausted" and "stressed out" and "crazed" about her j-o-b to help me post or visit for a couple of days.

She says we will be back Friday evening. Uh-huh. Unless something else "exhausting," or "stressful" or "crazy" happens.


And, oh yeah. The picture? Too much chair, too little ME.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Further Deep Thoughts with Spitty

1)  How much effort would it take to shred the bedroom curtains, or should I wait for the temperature to drop a little?
2)  I wonder how many more times I should eat the salmon flavor before she goes out and buys a case of it, which I will then refuse to even nibble on for months?
3)  If I tilt my head just.so, can I make her get out my most favorite pink brushie before she even changes her clothes after work?
4)  How many plant leaves must I consume before I regurgitate them on the carpet? Because I don't want to have to eat too many extras.
5)  If I am extra nice (well, extra nice for me), can I score a jar of the baby meats this week?
6)  I wonder what's on Animal Planet today?
7)  Where's my dinner?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sad-Sack Sunday

Hi Kitties, What is wrong with Mother Nature? Does she not realize this is the middle of FREAKING NOVEMBER? It was over 80 degrees today in the City by the Bay.

I was not happy. My Human was not happy.

Yes, we were Sad-Sacks! Of course, **I** did not have a camera to snap embarrassing pictures of her, sleeping with limbs all askew.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


So, it was a lovely sunny day and I was soooooooooooooooo comfortable I let the Human come up real close and I didn't even run away from the flashy box. Aren't I just her Very Best Boy?

Oh! P.S. to William: See, I had to inspect the check to the Wounded Warrior Program and its envelope before the Human puts it in the mail on Monday morning:

Friday, November 12, 2010

No, I most certainly

do NOT have a foot fetish, and besides, even if I did, it certainly would not be for the Human's foot! No, siree!
It would be for the delicate and delicious ladytoes of The Baby, or the Admiral, or Ayla or Iza, or...well, you know who you are. 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Stepkittens

Well, to be more precise, Stepkittehs; the whole kitten thing has long since played out, I'm afraid.

But no matter; let's catch up with our friends Aggie & Wally!

 Scratches? Scratches? I don't see no stinkin' scratches!!

Fee fie fo fum...I smell a Human, but which one?

Oh noes! Will curiosity kill the kittehs??

Okay, that's all for our visit today. And remember to be grateful to all our brave Veterans!
Bonks to all my kitty friends!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Yes, yes

Keep brushing, brushing, yes, that's right. Good, good, brush, brush. A little to the left. Good. Good, good.
What's that gleam in your eye? No no no, you may not pick me up!  Brush, brush, gooooooood.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Good evening, Kitties

And welcome to the smooth vocal stylings of Spitty-the-Kitty.

That's right, Ladycats, step right up. Come a little closer. Spitty's waiting just for you! Plenty of room for everyone. Don't be shy, now!

My first number tonight will be "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" and we'll just have to see where the spirit moves us after that.

Requests welcome!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Why, hello Kitties!

On a rainy day like today...

I like to think back on better times (like yesterday) when the sun was bright, the bed was warm, and the Human mostly left me alone to bathe in peace!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

P.S. to FLH

Separated at birth?

Our friend William of Mass Destruction . . .

                                                              . . . and '60's teen heart-throb Paul Anka?

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Elephant in the Room

All right, I've been posting here for seven or eight months, and it's time to confront the ugly truth:

Some Humans (rude, ill-bred ones) believe I have a Freakishly Large Head (henceforth known as FLH). There. It's out in the open now.

As you can see, I am not exactly pleased about this:

It was the Dad of Aggie and Wally, little Hellions both, who first applied the FLH label to me when I was a mere slip of a boy, and I gotz ta tell you, I thought about hurting him bad. Nowadays, he tries to pooh-pooh the whole debacle, saying that the rest of me has "grown into" my FLH, but frankly I find that patronizing, not to mention too little, too late.

I have come to embrace my outsize cranium.

It's where I keep my Giant Brain.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Flat Cat

As much as I would like to blame the Human for yet another failing, I cannot in good conscience (and, yes, I do too have one!) allow anykitty to think that she starves me. I am just a naturally light eater, uninterested in treats, even the ones the Kitties Who Came Before found irresistible. Sad, is it not?

The only treat to which I can be counted on to succumb is The Baby Meats. Yep, show me a Gerber label and I am putty in your hands. The Human likes to save that for really special occasions so that I do not become immune to its allure.

Because it was 78 freaking degrees here at 7:15 this evening, I was draped artfully on the Human's bed, where you can once again (a) bemoan my puny state, or (b) admire the lean mean machine that is Spitty. Take your pick!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, now that's better!

The Baseball, it is over!

Back to what's really important: Good sun, good ear-flattening yawn, good sharpening, good stretch! Could life BE any better? Well, as a matter of fact, yes it could. Bring on the foods, Human!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Toe-Bean Tuesday

I don't think I have ever featured my beauteous toe-beans before. Well, no time like the present:

While it may appear that the left-side beans are lighter than the right, it is only the action of the sun that makes it so. In reality, all my toe-beans are beautifully black as night! The orange highlights are the Human's last-ditch effort to hang onto the Giants' theme (for those living a happily baseball-free life, the Giants' team colors are orange and black).

The Human wonders if she'd get fired if she ditched work to attend the victory parade? Be careful, Human! We need this roof over our heads!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Yes, it IS our year!

Kitties, In view of this evening's extraordinary events, I am allowing the Human this one final intrusion into my blog.

Oh, wait....Make that "Home of . . .

The World Champion 
San Francisco Giants!