Sunday, September 30, 2018

Sunday Selfie: Je suis 'ee--dee-us!

Do you see? Do you see, Kitties?

I am . . . am . . . unbalanced!

My glorious left whisker is gone, gone forever, gone like the fog that swept through the hills of San Francisco, gone like the morning dew on the grass, gone like all things upon which a kitty sets such store.

Should I ask the Human to remove the remaining one so that I am not quite so hee-dee-ous?

She says I am being a drama queen, and that it will grow back as it did before. I don't think she is offering the proper amount of sympathy, do you?

Saturday, September 29, 2018

And . . . It's Caturday!

The Human has never helped me do any Caturday Art before,* but today I persuaded her. Now, this is no admission that I need "touching up" or "air brushing" to look my best, you understand, but it never hurts to have a little variety. Even perfection can grow tiresome, after all.
* Just as she has not helped me to do a lot of other stuff either, but one thing at a time.

So here's the first attempt:
I myself do not care too much for this. It looks like a magician's failed "let's-saw-the-handsome-furry-assistant-in-half" act.

Attempt Number 2:
I am ambivalent about this one. I like the effects, but there's a big, blobby, undefined black section. The Human was out of gas, artistically speaking. To be honest, she doesn't have all that much talent or patience to begin with. Quelle surprise!

And the real deal:
Yes, here I am, all untouched. Best of all, right?

Have a Happy Caturday, Kitties!

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

                             Portrait of a Serial Napper

Hey, c'mon, Human! I'm awake in this photo! And ready to play the Thursday Fill-Ins for the first time! They are from 15 and Meowing and Four-Legged Furballs and I had fun with them.

1. A jar of Gerber's chick-hen will always get my attention.

2. The best time of the day is early morning playtime!

3.  Lap-sitting is not my strong suit.

4. It’s all fun and games until the Human starts bleeding. (Oh, who am I kidding here? It's still fun and games for me!)

Ha ha meow!

Monday, September 24, 2018

How Much Is That Horsie in the Window?

About a year ago, the Human bought this little guy on a whim at a strange little shop in Half Moon Bay.

Even I thought he was kind of cute.

He took up residence atop a shelf full of towels, right in front of the baffroom window.

All was right with his world.


Saturday, September 22, 2018

Sunday Selfie: The Conversation

THE HUMAN:     Spitty, do you have time for a little talk?
ME:                       Well, I was getting ready for my mid-morning nap. Is it important?
THE HUMAN:     I wanted to talk about your choice of receptacle last night when you, uh, barfed.
ME:                      Yes, I dimly remember that. It was kind of late, wasn't it?
THE HUMAN:     Yes, yes it was. In fact, you woke me.
ME:                       Oh. Sorry, I guess. I mean, excuuuuse me for upchucking and all.
THE HUMAN:     It's not so much the barfing, as where it occurred.
ME:                       And where was that again?
THE HUMAN:     In my good shoes. BOTH of them. I mean, I could overlook one as accidental, but . . .
ME:                      Well, the first one was starting to smell awful, so I switched mid-heave.
THE HUMAN:     ::crickets::         

UPDATE: After frowing up twice over the past few days, about an hour ago I finally rid myself of a large and lustrous furball. Today I chose to make my deposit on the rug you can see above. Not as good as a shoe, I suppose, but my fur *is* black and it looked quite spectacular. You-Know-Who didn't say anything except, "Poor kitty. I bet you're glad to be rid of it finally." I guess she gets a few points for that.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

                                     My New Statue

I was very surprised when the Human brought home this fine picture of my statue outside the Legion of Honor art museum after her visit this morning. It's so large and, well, downright noble. Yes, the El Cid Campéador statue was impressive, but surely I'm more relatable, right? Don't you think?

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

              Multiple-Choice Moment

                      A)  Kon’nichi wa.
                      B)  Why, thank you, Your Highness.
                      C)  Take my wallet--it's right under my tummy fluff!
                      D)  Please forgive me.
                      E)  Halp me, Human!
                       F)  One to Beam Up, Scotty!*
                       G)  All these curtains are mine.**

* With thanks to meowmeowmans for the inspiration
**  With thanks to William's Mom

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

                                   Twofer Tuesday

Oh, she thinks she's soooooooo funny all the time. I say, There's a big difference between hiding from the Clickety-Clickety Brigade and having a house fall on you 'cause you're wicked.

So the Human was strolling up the Embarcadero the other evening with a friend when she whipped out her phone to take a random picture (because she can't seem to help herself). Although there were plenty of people and cars around, she happened to clickety-click at the split second when for a moment none of them were visible. She'd like to claim credit for that, but dumb luck is a better explanation.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Smoldering Sunday Selfie

I know I'd be cuter with *two* ears. But even a one-eared Spitty is still in the top 10% of Good Lookin' ManCats. Right? 

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Little Boxes

Oh yes, I could have a bigger box. In fact, I *do* have bigger boxes. But sometimes, on chilly nights, I like my tiny box near the ancient radiator. It is snug and warm, and I feel secure against the elements. 

Sometimes, I permit the Human to pick me up, box and all, and put us in her lap. Really, I prefer the floor and the radiator. But she says, 'Sometimes, you have to pay the rent, Spitty.'

Thursday, September 13, 2018

                It Calls to Me, but I Do Not Answer

I had the deepest sleepies. I did not even twitch or bat an eyelash 
when the paparazzi approached. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Expanding My Horizons?

So earlier, the Human left the front door open and invited me into the hallway of our building. With great caution, I approached the open door and sniffed and sniffed and sniffed some more. Then I put one paw delicately onto the carpeting out there, but "Oh no!" the floor was lava and I dashed away. Then a few minutes later I poked my head out again and this time I briefly got all four paws onto the lava. Now I am in my favorite purple beddy thinking over this intriguing but frightening turn of events.

Sunday, September 9, 2018

                             (Appalling) Sunday Selfie

"Oh Spiiiiiiittty! It's time for you to take your selfie."
"Wait! Just wait a minute! I'm not done
with my baff yet. I want to look nice for all
the LadyCats today!"
"Okay, I'm ready for my close-up now.
Let me just trigger that remote . . .
hey, wait! You sneaked some pictures
before I was ready! This won't end well for you, Human."

Saturday, September 8, 2018

My Belly Trap in Its Most Enticing Form

Don't you just want to bury your little faces in it?

Form a line to the right.

You pays your money and you takes your chances, Humans!

Let the games begin.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

The Great Explorer Patrols His Territory

See those little succulents? She killed them dead except for one. I had nuffing to do with it.

Monday, September 3, 2018

I'm Just a Tiny Curled Up Kitten

who wouldn't hurt a fly, and who certainly would not rake my razor-sharp claws across the back of the Human's hand and make her bleed for the second time in a week.
And for heaven's sake, can someone tell me what these three ridiculous sprouts rising from my lustrous back furs might be?

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Sunday Selfie: C'mon Now, Tell Spitty All About It

I can see you're troubled by your lapses in constant attentiveness to me.

However, your guilty feelings mean nothing without the performance of proper penance and commitment to change your behavior--did you retain nuffing from 16+ years of Caffolick edumacation?

I was under the impression guilt was their Best Thing!

I don't think you're really trying your best.