Wednesday, December 30, 2020

(Not Really Wordless) Whisker Wednesday

 To the untrained observer, it may appear that I am staring absently into space as I lounge about:

To the discerning eye, however, it is obvious that I am concentrating all my considerable might on regrowing that missing left-side White Whisker. 

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Sunday Selfie:
Apparently, I'm a Bad Boy

After 16-1/2 years of being completely trustworthy with regard to Christmas trees, I chose December 26, 2020, to decide that batting the ornaments around might be pretty darn entertaining.

So I did. Bat. Bat, bat. Bat bat bat. Batbatbatbatbatbat.

The Human was not amused, and I was bodily removed and spoken to very disrespectfully. In fact, she got downright shirty with me.

Spitty this, Spitty that, blahblahblahblahblah. To tell you the truth, I stopped listening once she took that tone with me. 

Can you blame me?

Monday, December 21, 2020

Guess Which Ornament Is My Favorite?

It's not really a very hard question.
A                                           B

 Well, did you get it right?

Sunday, December 20, 2020

Sunday Selfie: Wake Me After Santa's Been Here

 Surely this year I'll get that pony! Right?

Friday, December 18, 2020

Spitty's Christmas Song

You better shed fur
You better be bad
You better not purr
Or I'm gonna be mad
Spitty Claws is coming to town
I'm making a list
I'm checking it twice
I'm gonna find out who's been over-nice
Spitty Claws is coming to town
I see you when you're sleeping
I know when you're awake
I know if you've been bad or good
So be bad for goodness sake
You better watch out!
Do what you prefer
You'd best not obey, 
'Cause you can be sure
Spitty Claws is coming to town

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Sunday Selfie:
Why Don't You Come Up and See Me Sometime?

Happy Sunday, Furiends

Yes, I know today's selfie is from the same set of pictures as my last post (just a couple days ago, I say with a certain amount of pride. I didn't even have to make her bleed, either--well, not much anyway). And honestly, I think I look very fetching here--what LadyCat could resist this face? (OK, I know, I know. There must be one somewhere!)

So it's been pretty quiet around the castle lately. That whole knee thing kinda blew up after our last November post -- stitches got infected, turns out there was a small fracture, and some bone spurs got shattered (hurray for that last item!) She was popping antibiotics like candy. And of course she used it as an excuse to be pretty uncooperative with my very reasonable requests.

Anyway, here we are, locked down once again as the virus rampages through the Bay Area, praying that all the scary Human political nonsense comes to an end, and hoping for the vaccines to get here ASAP so I can get her out of my house and nap in peace once again. 


Thursday, December 10, 2020

Thin-Skinned Thursday

Oh pish-tosh! Not me, Sillies. H-E-R. It's not *my* fault she's so old and slow, and yet too stoopy to understand that her days of playing rousing games of slappy paws with Yours Truly should have ended like 10 years ago

I'm going to insist she post this now because if she had her way she'd natter on about the 27 things that interfered with her helping me post and I would just get madder and madder at her for all her many failings and then there'd be more blood everywhere. I missed all you kitties & your Humans too.

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Sunday Selfie: We Didn't Mean to Disappear

Hi Kitties & Humans,

We were on a roll, were we not? And then came Thursday.

The Human and a friend took lunch out to Fort Point to enjoy the sun and crashing surf. And all was well until...the stoopy Human climbed over the chain to enjoy a stroll along the sea wall and the delightful view of the underside of the Golden Gate Bridge. 

As she climbed over the chain to return to the parking lot side, she failed to accomplish the most basic task of lifting her trailing foot high enough to clear the chain, thus catching the toe of her shoe on the chain and taking the kind of fall that haunts Old People's nightmares!

After much drama involving the aforementioned companion, a Bridge Patrol officer, a small crowd, a former marine medic, and the sweetest Weimaraner ever, her loyal best friend and former college roommate arrived to save the day, ferrying the Human to urgent care, the lunch companion to his home, and even fetching the Human's insurance cards from her apartment.* 

In the end, after a thorough once-over, x-rays, and some very tidy stitches across her left knee, the Human got home safe-ish and sound-ish, and extremely uncooperative with my efforts to make her blog for me. Even now, I have to tell her story, rather than my own tale of deprivation: little attention, almost no hallway playtimes, and irregular food delivery.

Other than her occasional whimpering and tendency to walk like Frankenstein's monster, we are getting back to normal and hope to resume communications in the next few days. How stoopy is my Human, anyway? Does she think she's broken her fingers??

*Tip for all: Carry your insurance info. This goes double for Humans as stoopy and apparently clumsy as mine.


Wednesday, November 18, 2020

(Not So Very) Wordless Wednesday

Hello New Friends, I am Grayson (above right) and She Who Must Be Obeyed is on the left. Though she is all-black, she does have the most wondrous pure white whiskers, which I must say I envy. I hope Spitty's Mama (henceforth SM) will get a good picture of those whiskers soon.* We have both lived Outside all our lives as far as any of the HBs (what we call the Tall Hairless Ones) know, and we aren't saying any different. The Chief HB tells SM that she thinks we are somewhere around 10 or 12, but again, we are not saying. That information is on a need-to-know basis. Even though we live Outside, we have many creature comforts, including a lovely garden all our own, a nice building with a gated forecourt to keep the HBs out, and a secret way to get underneath the building to keep out of the rain and away from any unwelcome visitors. Okay, I think that's it for now. We might see you again next week, and in the meantime here's a video from this morning's foodtime!

You may notice that SM calls us The McChonkersons 'cause she thinks we look pretty well-fed for Outside kitties. That's pretty rich coming from her. I wonder if she's looked in a mirror lately? 

*P.S. Found one!

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Relaxicat Says . . .

Step right up and tell me your troubles. Relaxicat™ has plenty of wise advice for you!

Stressed out over politics?
Take a nap!

Worried about the pandemic?
Take a nap!

Feeling depressed about the holidays?
Take a nap!

That'll be $100 or four toonas. PayPal and PayFish gladly accepted.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Sunday Selfie: Chiaroscuro Spitty


Just so you know, I had to teach the Human what this word meant. Her fine arts vocabulary is a crying shame.

I am sure you other Kitties can do the same for your People.

Saturday, November 14, 2020

I'd Prefer the Whole Peacock

Still, the Human told me they're kind of mean and screechy, so maybe I'm glad someone just pulled its fevvers right out. Take that, Birdie!
Hope EveryKitty is having a happy 🐈urday! 

Friday, November 13, 2020

Those Other Kitties

Perhaps you recall Grayson, one of the two semi-feral kitties the Human has been feeding a couple of times a week for the past year. 

If you listen closely, you can hear him saying, "You know, Lady, our bowls are empty, and honestly, I'd enjoy chatting with you a lot more if you got to scooping out our food right quick."

Grayson and the Mrs. (who is a bit camera-shy) seem like Good Eggs, though I am not really interested in meeting them, and I am pretty sure they'd say the same! 

The Human has come to feel quite fond of them, though, and she says they would like to offer their thoughts occasionally on *my* blog. I guessssssss that's okay, right?

Thursday, November 12, 2020

Baby Yoda and Me

Shortly before Halloween, we went to Benecia*, a charming quiet town about 35 miles northeast of San Francisco that was once the state capital. On the main drag is a bakery called One House that produces toothsome pastries**, and this year, a funtastic Halloween display.

Fans of The Mandalorian will recognize Mando on the right, next to the adorable Baby Yoda***. The 'droid at left was constructed entirely from kitchen gadgets, and the others' attire was made from bread! 

* All right, yes, if you want to be a nitpicker, my visit may have been virtual.

** About which I could not care less. But they seem to matter to the Human and her friend. I think maybe they could have gone fishing off the little pier and brought me a bass or something. But Nooooooooo! Nary a thought was spared for the kitty!

*** Not as "adorable" as me, of course.


Wednesday, November 11, 2020


Well, hello Kitties

Here we are again, turning up like a bad penny (whatever that is supposed to mean). I have missed all of you, and the Human has, too (though honestly, her lack of action leads me to doubt her sincerity). Still, she's been a wreck over the election and the Covid and the hot weather and the general malaise that seems to have settled over the Humans. Like that's our problem, right?

Hope efurrybody had a good pandemic Halloween (our neighborhood looked more festive than usual--which was kind of fun). We are both feeling more chipper now that the weird and lingering warm weather has cooled off considerably. I am trying to parlay that into some posts, but with Her, who knows? 

We hope to have a super-belated Halloween post tomorrow! 


Sunday, October 18, 2020

Sunday Selfie: Easy Like Sunday Morning

So, I was sleeping so very peacefully when she made her little (annoying) kissie noise, which I have learned usually presages brushies or treats. But I was sleeping so very soundly I never even twitched. She was sooooo disappointed.


Friday, October 16, 2020

It's 93°

At least she pointed the fan at my tummy. As you can see, I took full advantage.

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Hey! Who Is That?

Surely there can't be a replicator in the hallway--can there? I'm pretty sure I could take him, though.

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Sunday Selfie: Halp Me!

I am being held hostage by a negligent Human,
who led me down the garden path of thinking 
we were blogging again!


Sunday, October 4, 2020

Sunday Selfie: Up the Down Staircase

Or down the up staircase. Or something

Friday, October 2, 2020

Guess What?

Kitty Butt!

Our friends at 15 and Meowing Four-Legged Furballs created these intriguing Friday Fill-Ins:

1. You will never find a dustless surface in my home.

2. Once a year, I sit in the Human's lap.

3. My claws have gotten me the Human in trouble.

4. The last time I played slappypaws was when she almost lost her thumb.

Thursday, October 1, 2020

Practicing My Pliés and My Jetés

I've been rehearsing my role as Prince Sigfried in Swan Lake. 

Or wait! Maybe I'm starring in The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin by Beatrix Potter?

It's all the same to me, as long as I am the ⭐!

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Monday, September 28, 2020

Heat and Smoke and Fire, Oh My!

I'd love to get up and play, but . . .

In other news, the Human encountered this on her walk this morning. Given that it is sizzling and smoky, not to mention still freaking September, it seemed a little . . . odd:

Saturday, September 26, 2020

Sunday Selfie: The Backslider

No, not me, Sillies! Her! Of course, her
Every day I say, "So Human, do you think we could post today?" And she looks at me guiltily and says , "Maybe, Spitty." 
But then M-T-W-T-F-S went by just like that.
And nuffing is what happened!
Well, here we are again. And we'll see if she can do better this week!

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Sunday Selfie: The Cube of Many Windows

Moody stare. Paw placement. Light and shadow. I'm . . . intriguing.


Saturday, September 19, 2020

(Non-alliterative) Caturday Fill-Ins

These fun fill-ins come up from the wonderful peeps (and their kitties) of 15and Meowing and the Four-Legged Furballs!

1. If you are looking for obedience, try adopting a poodle.

2. A tiny bowl with half'n'half inside fills me with hope.

3. It’s only a matter of time before she gets a salary decrease.

4. Ladycats are my favorite conversation topic.

I'm thinking of making a run for it.

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Yo! LadyCats

I gots lots of curlyfurs and plenty of room.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Tuesday Tailio


Sheesh! Sometimes a ManCat just needs a few moments to himself, you know, to recharge his batteries.

And yet, every stinkin' time she tracks me down.

I don't know how she does it. 

Monday, September 14, 2020

My Kingsguard


Even Joffrey Lannister would be envious, don't you think?

*The Human says that in reality these Noble Beasts guard the entrance to Sutro Park, but I think she is just trying to diminish the glamour & importance of my royal position.

Saturday, September 12, 2020

Sunday Selfie: Hallway Hijinks

So I imagine you may have wondered what it is I find so alluring about Hallway Times. Well, I can't entirely put my paw on it, but I will say it has Expanded My Horizons, and made me feel quite kittenish

Granted, Yours Truly can't sustain strenuous playtimes for long, but every now and then I do Get My Kitten On, and finally the Human had the camera in the right place at the right time.

Friday, September 11, 2020

Friday Fevvers and Fill-Ins

Our friends at 15 and Meowing Four-Legged Furballs created these intriguing Friday Fill-Ins:

1. I wish I had been alive during the reign of the Pharaohs when we kitties were treated with the respect we so richly deserve!

2. My favorite way to have apples is slathered with butter and covered in shrimp. And honestly, you can just forget the apples.

3. I was sad to find out that Humans can't purr, poor things.

Moff-murder isn’t rocket science.

Thursday, September 10, 2020

It's Always Good to Hide . . .

. . . when the 'Pocalypse comes.

This was our living room yesterday morning about 10:30 a.m. It really never got any lighter. Today is better, but still not what the Human and I would call 'normal.'

Monday, September 7, 2020

Scorcher, Day 3

Wake me when it's over.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

Sunday Selfie: Frying and Fretting

Oh hello, Kitties and Humans!

We have absented ourselves for a few days, as the weather has turned on us, and you know how we HATES the heat.

Plus, I am an Old Mancat now and do not do well at all in the Hots. I hasten to add that the Human is an Old Lady, and we both have our various ailments to contend with, none of which are improved by temps in the 90s, or Cod forbid, worser even than that. So while we have both been frying, she is the only one who has been fretting, mostly about moi, of course. We have reached that stage of the Human-Kitty relationship when she stares at me to make sure I am still breathing. ::eye roll::

Still, this morning I had quite a bit of food and, even better, drank quite enthusiastically at my water bowl. I had fun during morning Hallway Time. 

Speaking of which, I have been largely successful in the past few days at getting Hallway Time on demand, though I have not yet shaken the Babysitter.

So that's the report from Chez Spittola. We are supposed to have one more day (Monday) of the Really Horrible Hots and then a few days of Warms before we return to our cooling ocean breezes and daily fog that creeps in on little You-Know-Whats!


Thursday, September 3, 2020

A Modest Proposal

So Human, I've been thinking. I have come to see our building's hallway, stairs and little lobby as natural extensions of our apartment.

I would like to negotiate a new arrangement. First, a once-a-day excursion seems awfully restrictive. I propose three: One late morning, one mid-afternoon, and one before bedtime.

Also, it's a little humiliating to have you babysitting me out there. Just leave the front door open, and I'll come in when I am good and ready.

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Wordless Wednesday:
Can I Help You With Something?

Surely you did not track me down in such a stalkeratti-ish way for no good reason?

I'd love to assist you in solving your problem.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Breaking News! Caught on Video!
She Kicked Me in the Face


P.S. This is one of those brooding, slow-moving Nordic art films. 
To save yourselves some misery, the action sequence 
begins around :58. Feel free to skip ahead!

Monday, August 31, 2020

It's M-m-m-m-my Pagoda!

Well, okay, yes, I know that *strictly speaking* this is not a pagoda.

But look--I live in a modest apartment in the middle of a city and what would the likes of me be doing with a pagoda anyway?

However, mere steps away in the park, there is a real pagoda:

Located at the edge of Stow Lake in Golden Gate Park where the Human likes to walk, there is a real, genu-wine pagoda that was a gift from Taipei in 1981. It is a super popular place for wedding photos and all kinds of other Human frivolities. And you know what? *I* would like to have this pagoda. We don't have a yard though, and I think it's too big for the living room. 
Pity. I would feel quite royal on a silken pillow right in the center.

Sunday, August 30, 2020

Sunday Selfie: "I Should Have Named You Dusty"

. . . she says, just like it was nuffing insulting. Well, Kitties, I *am* insulted nonetheless.

I mean, if I *am* dusty, and I am neither confirming or denying any such thing, whose fault is that really?

Do *I* do (or more likely, not do) the housework here at Chez Spittola and the Human? I mean, do Kings vacuum? 

Well, I am sure you get my drift: Not the Kitty's fault.


Saturday, August 29, 2020

Caturday Fill-ins

So the Human is old and addled and apparently so am I, especially when I am distracted by a sunny window. So of course we fuddled our way through Friday, minus the Fill-Ins. We hope we are still allowed to answer them, even though it is already Caturday!

Our friends at 15 and Meowing Four-Legged Furballs created these intriguing Friday (Caturday) Fill-Ins:

1. Being a feline is a privilege.
2. I was so embarrassed when the Human made me post that snuggly picture yesterday, but now I am kinda proud of myself.
3. I can’t help but smile when I think about the LadyCats.
. Absolutely everything has gotten out of hand.

Friday, August 28, 2020

True Confession: My Feral Card . . .

 . . . I'm afraid I have burned it. And quite a long time ago, too,  if the truth be told.

On this chilly afternoon, I snuggled in hard between the Human and the arm of the chair.

And I purred and I purred and I purred.

There! I've said it! I dare you to mock me! 

Actually, go ahead and mock me. I deserve it. 

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Felines at Rest, Real and Imagined

 I'm a Good Boy, I am.

Is this guy a Good Boy too? 

And the Survey Says. . . 
Still an open question!

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Sweet Toesday

 I don't often show off my toes, but when I do they're the best toes!