To the untrained observer, it may appear that I am staring absently into space as I lounge about:
Wednesday, December 30, 2020
Sunday, December 27, 2020
So I did. Bat. Bat, bat. Bat bat bat. Batbatbatbatbatbat.
The Human was not amused, and I was bodily removed and spoken to very disrespectfully. In fact, she got downright shirty with me.
Spitty this, Spitty that, blahblahblahblahblah. To tell you the truth, I stopped listening once she took that tone with me.
Can you blame me?
Monday, December 21, 2020
Sunday, December 20, 2020
Friday, December 18, 2020
You better be bad
You better not purr
Or I'm gonna be mad
Spitty Claws is coming to town
I'm making a list
I'm checking it twice
I'm gonna find out who's been over-nice
Spitty Claws is coming to town
I see you when you're sleeping
I know when you're awake
I know if you've been bad or good
So be bad for goodness sake
You better watch out!
Do what you prefer
You'd best not obey,
Spitty Claws is coming to town
Sunday, December 13, 2020
Thursday, December 10, 2020
Oh pish-tosh! Not me, Sillies. H-E-R. It's not *my* fault she's so old and slow, and yet too stoopy to understand that her days of playing rousing games of slappy paws with Yours Truly should have ended like 10 years ago.
I'm going to insist she post this now because if she had her way she'd natter on about the 27 things that interfered with her helping me post and I would just get madder and madder at her for all her many failings and then there'd be more blood everywhere. I missed all you kitties & your Humans too.
Saturday, November 21, 2020
We were on a roll, were we not? And then came Thursday.
The Human and a friend took lunch out to Fort Point to enjoy the sun and crashing surf. And all was well until...the stoopy Human climbed over the chain to enjoy a stroll along the sea wall and the delightful view of the underside of the Golden Gate Bridge.
As she climbed over the chain to return to the parking lot side, she failed to accomplish the most basic task of lifting her trailing foot high enough to clear the chain, thus catching the toe of her shoe on the chain and taking the kind of fall that haunts Old People's nightmares!
After much drama involving the aforementioned companion, a Bridge Patrol officer, a small crowd, a former marine medic, and the sweetest Weimaraner ever, her loyal best friend and former college roommate arrived to save the day, ferrying the Human to urgent care, the lunch companion to his home, and even fetching the Human's insurance cards from her apartment.*
In the end, after a thorough once-over, x-rays, and some very tidy stitches across her left knee, the Human got home safe-ish and sound-ish, and extremely uncooperative with my efforts to make her blog for me. Even now, I have to tell her story, rather than my own tale of deprivation: little attention, almost no hallway playtimes, and irregular food delivery.
Other than her occasional whimpering and tendency to walk like Frankenstein's monster, we are getting back to normal and hope to resume communications in the next few days. How stoopy is my Human, anyway? Does she think she's broken her fingers??
*Tip for all: Carry your insurance info. This goes double for Humans as stoopy and apparently clumsy as mine.
Wednesday, November 18, 2020
Tuesday, November 17, 2020
Sunday, November 15, 2020
Saturday, November 14, 2020
Friday, November 13, 2020
If you listen closely, you can hear him saying, "You know, Lady, our bowls are empty, and honestly, I'd enjoy chatting with you a lot more if you got to scooping out our food right quick."
Grayson and the Mrs. (who is a bit camera-shy) seem like Good Eggs, though I am not really interested in meeting them, and I am pretty sure they'd say the same!
The Human has come to feel quite fond of them, though, and she says they would like to offer their thoughts occasionally on *my* blog. I guessssssss that's okay, right?
Thursday, November 12, 2020
Shortly before Halloween, we went to Benecia*, a charming quiet town about 35 miles northeast of San Francisco that was once the state capital. On the main drag is a bakery called One House that produces toothsome pastries**, and this year, a funtastic Halloween display.
Fans of The Mandalorian will recognize Mando on the right, next to the adorable Baby Yoda***. The 'droid at left was constructed entirely from kitchen gadgets, and the others' attire was made from bread!
* All right, yes, if you want to be a nitpicker, my visit may have been virtual.
** About which I could not care less. But they seem to matter to the Human and her friend. I think maybe they could have gone fishing off the little pier and brought me a bass or something. But Nooooooooo! Nary a thought was spared for the kitty!
*** Not as "adorable" as me, of course.
Wednesday, November 11, 2020
Well, hello Kitties!
Here we are again, turning up like a bad penny (whatever that is supposed to mean). I have missed all of you, and the Human has, too (though honestly, her lack of action leads me to doubt her sincerity). Still, she's been a wreck over the election and the Covid and the hot weather and the general malaise that seems to have settled over the Humans. Like that's our problem, right?
Hope efurrybody had a good pandemic Halloween (our neighborhood looked more festive than usual--which was kind of fun). We are both feeling more chipper now that the weird and lingering warm weather has cooled off considerably. I am trying to parlay that into some posts, but with Her, who knows?
We hope to have a super-belated Halloween post tomorrow!
Sunday, October 18, 2020
Friday, October 16, 2020
Tuesday, October 13, 2020
Sunday, October 11, 2020
Sunday, October 4, 2020
Friday, October 2, 2020
1. You will never find a dustless surface in my home.
2. Once a year, I sit in the Human's lap.
3. My claws have gotten
4. The last time I played slappypaws was when she almost lost her thumb.
Thursday, October 1, 2020
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Monday, September 28, 2020
Saturday, September 26, 2020
Sunday, September 20, 2020
Saturday, September 19, 2020
1. If you are looking for obedience, try adopting a poodle.
2. A tiny bowl with half'n'half inside fills me with hope.
3. It’s only a matter of time before she gets a salary decrease.
4. Ladycats are my favorite conversation topic.
Thursday, September 17, 2020
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
Monday, September 14, 2020
Saturday, September 12, 2020
So I imagine you may have wondered what it is I find so alluring about Hallway Times. Well, I can't entirely put my paw on it, but I will say it has Expanded My Horizons, and made me feel quite kittenish.
Granted, Yours Truly can't sustain strenuous playtimes for long, but every now and then I do Get My Kitten On, and finally the Human had the camera in the right place at the right time.
Friday, September 11, 2020
3. I was sad to find out that Humans can't purr, poor things.
4. Moff-murder isn’t rocket science.
Thursday, September 10, 2020
Sunday, September 6, 2020
Oh hello, Kitties and Humans!
We have absented ourselves for a few days, as the weather has turned on us, and you know how we HATES the heat.
Plus, I am an Old Mancat now and do not do well at all in the Hots. I hasten to add that the Human is an Old Lady, and we both have our various ailments to contend with, none of which are improved by temps in the 90s, or Cod forbid, worser even than that. So while we have both been frying, she is the only one who has been fretting, mostly about moi, of course. We have reached that stage of the Human-Kitty relationship when she stares at me to make sure I am still breathing. ::eye roll::
Still, this morning I had quite a bit of food and, even better, drank quite enthusiastically at my water bowl. I had fun during morning Hallway Time.
Speaking of which, I have been largely successful in the past few days at getting Hallway Time on demand, though I have not yet shaken the Babysitter.
So that's the report from Chez Spittola. We are supposed to have one more day (Monday) of the Really Horrible Hots and then a few days of Warms before we return to our cooling ocean breezes and daily fog that creeps in on little You-Know-Whats!
Thursday, September 3, 2020
I would like to negotiate a new arrangement. First, a once-a-day excursion seems awfully restrictive. I propose three: One late morning, one mid-afternoon, and one before bedtime.
Also, it's a little humiliating to have you babysitting me out there. Just leave the front door open, and I'll come in when I am good and ready.
Wednesday, September 2, 2020
Tuesday, September 1, 2020
Monday, August 31, 2020
But look--I live in a modest apartment in the middle of a city and what would the likes of me be doing with a pagoda anyway?
However, mere steps away in the park, there is a real pagoda:
Sunday, August 30, 2020
I mean, if I *am* dusty, and I am neither confirming or denying any such thing, whose fault is that really?
Do *I* do (or more likely, not do) the housework here at Chez Spittola and the Human? I mean, do Kings vacuum?
Well, I am sure you get my drift: Not the Kitty's fault.
Saturday, August 29, 2020
So the Human is old and addled and apparently so am I, especially when I am distracted by a sunny window. So of course we fuddled our way through Friday, minus the Fill-Ins. We hope we are still allowed to answer them, even though it is already Caturday!
1. Being a feline is a privilege.
2. I was so embarrassed when the Human made me post that snuggly picture yesterday, but now I am kinda proud of myself.
3. I can’t help but smile when I think about the LadyCats.
4. Absolutely everything has gotten out of hand.
Friday, August 28, 2020
. . . I'm afraid I have burned it. And quite a long time ago, too, if the truth be told.
On this chilly afternoon, I snuggled in hard between the Human and the arm of the chair.
And I purred and I purred and I purred.
There! I've said it! I dare you to mock me!
Actually, go ahead and mock me. I deserve it.