Friday, April 30, 2010

Spaghetti, Not the Good Kind

All right,
that's it.

I'm calling
the fire department.

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Yes! I can! I can eat this plant
ALL I WANT because

NOBODY can stop me!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Listen Up!

Yo, Woman! There's a reason I climb into my comfy tiny tent.
Can you guess what it is?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Conversing with Humans

What she says:

Spitty, get off the table.

What I say:

You talkin' to me?

Monday, April 26, 2010

Mr. Nippy

Mr. Nippy has a velcro tummy
where mom stuffs the, well, you know.

Some days, I dig my claws into Mr. Nippy
and rub him all over my face.

Other days, not so much.

Yeah, I can quit anytime.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Why I Can't Has Outside Fun

This is the view from my Tower, from which I observe the neighborhood. I watch cars and neighbors, crazy homeless guys, trucks, lost buses, doggies and other denizens of my neighborhood as they go about their business every day.

I am not allowed to go out there, which annoys me, but even I have to admit it doesn't look very kitteh-friendly.

Still, a guy can dream, can't he?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Peel Me a Grape

This is why
it's okay sometimes
when she doesn't make the bed.

Oh, and forget the grape.
I'll have a slice of fresh tuna
with just a dot of caviar.

Friday, April 23, 2010

My Pink Enchantress

The Pink Enchantress torments me in my dreams and dances tantalizingly before me in my waking hours. I try to resist its hypnotic power, but I am weak, and I succumb. It's. . . humiliating.
Is there a 12-Step program for this?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Close-Up

It only took her about nine thousand tries with that damn flashy box in my face.

And I'm still blurry.

But don't my eyes look nice?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Sometimes when I nap, I dream of my favorite Whiskas tuna flavors, and when I wake up,

they've actually appeared!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Purple resurrection

Nope, I didn't eat it after all.
I left it as a gift, though, because I thought it went well with those weird sheets (snert, snert).

Wait! What? It's at least as good as a mint!

Note: Bed unmade. Again.

The Tree

This is The Tree I see out the dining room window. It is a very interesting tree, full of tiny twittering birds that I would enjoy eating, but sadly cannot reach.

See that garage roof? If the window were open just a liiiittttttle wider, I could stand on that roof and eat those birds.

I've asked nicely, but all I ever hear is, "No, Spitty."

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I can haz privacy?

Look, I just really need to lick under this armpit now.
Can we have the photo op later?

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Another stupid rule:

"Don't eat this plant."

Yeah, like I can't nibble my favorite greenery because she moved it maybe 6 inches away. Right.

Friday, April 16, 2010

SO Not My Fault

Yeah, um, if you don't want fur on your pillow, make the bed.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Purple Thing

I don't much like this purple-sparkly-feather-mousie thing. I think I'll eat it.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

First Post

Well, after years of reading blogs of those other kitties with moms and dads who love them enough to let them have their own blogs, I have prevailed at last. I have worn The Womun down and it feels mighty good. She has pathetic computer skills so it might take awhile to get this off the ground. Still, it's a start so I won't complain.....yet.