All right, yes, technically speaking, I *was* in the Human's lap. This blurry bit of photographic evidence really cannot be disputed, but it wasn't for long, and I wasn't really enjoying myself.
I think you can see my obvious distress for yourself, right?
In an effort to force me encourage me to eat kibble that is "healthier" for me (and by the way *I'll* be the judge of that, thankyouverymuch), the Human dropped a truly alarming number of green papers on some fancy food. Here it is:
Castor & Pollux Innova Wellness Wilderness
After several hours, this*was the result:
The Castor and Pollux is a Whole Paycheck Foods product, and was, surprisingly, the least expensive of the four. It was the plate I emptied first. The Innova was a close second, but the other stuff--yucko. She has mixed some of it in now with the favorites because she says she is not going to get rid of it just because I don't freaking like it, not after all those green papers went flyin' out the door.
And that's the way it is on Spitty's tray, today, February 24, 2012.
*Please notice the blurring in Photo #2. You know how hard it is to get a clear, sharp picture of small plates--they just won't keep still!
* * * * *
No, the King is not anorexic, just naturally svelte and slender.
I will name no names, but SomeHuman is bitterly envious. Maybe she should substitute Fancy Feast and kibble for pizza and burritos?
Inspired byCallie, I am giving free reign this morning
to my Royal Voice.
Please feel free to join in--the more the merrier:
Stray cat strut, I'm a ladies' cat,
A feline Casanova, hey man, thats where its at
Get a shoe thrown at me from a mean old man
Get my dinner from a garbage can
Yeah don't cross my path
I don't bother chasing mice around
I slink down the alley looking for a fight
Howling to the moonlight on a hot summer night
Singin' the blues while the lady cats cry,
"Wild stray cat, you're a real gone guy."
Well, even a King has His dreams, you know.
* * * * * * * * *
Say, isn't it getting to be time for the Annual PurrFormance Reviews? Does anykitty know when those are officially scheduled, because I've been sharpening my claws and my wits.
#2. What keeps you up at night?Hanging out with my LadyCats, UTB and elsewhere.
#3. Who would I like to be? Seriously? Like I'd want to be anyone else? #4. What am I wearing right now?Basic black.
#5. What scares me?Everything! Noises, boxes, bags, Humans, towels--you name it, it scares me. #6. The best and worst of blogging.The best:Getting a good idea for a post! Getting the post actually done! Getting lots of fun comments! Visiting all my furiends! The worst: Making my Human sit down and help me do all of it!
#7. The last website I visited.CNN.com. I like to keep up!
#8. What one thing would I like to change about myself?Perhaps I would like to be braver, but then I'd be Perfect and that would be dull.
#9. Slankets, yes or no?What's a slanket? Even without knowing: No.
#10. Tell us something about the personKitty! who tagged you. Leo and Star are such funny, floofy gray kitties, and I can a-l-m-o-s-t tell them apart now, MOL. I want to thank them for tagging me!
Like Leo and Star, I will tag four blogs of kitties I'd like to know more about:
So, Human, what is this "Constitution" of which you speak? Some silly Human scheme, I suppose, to dethrone the King, to usurp His powers, to deprive Him of His Rightful Place atop the Great Chain of Being.
As if some Humans could make rules for the Kitties!
For some reason tonight, we were unable to leave comments at any blogspot blogs that have word verification! They all had the same word ("smenita"). We even tried to fool it by clicking to get the disability version (the one that's said aloud) but that didn't work either. We tried rebooting, reloading, repeating and reciting bad words. Don't know if it's just us, but we hope for better luck tomorrow.
This will require a Royal Decree of Painful Punishment for somebody!
King Spitty I
Cousin Wally is thankful his Dad rescued him from the shelter and gave him a wonderful home with the soft warm beds, the tasty noms, the fun toys and the annoying lovable sisfur Aggie.
We are featuring Wally today because Cousin Aggie has had much more blog time recently here at SpittySpeaks, and we don't want Wally to feel slighted.
The Human loves watching Wally sleep so cozily in this picture. She can (almost) forgive him for hiding from her the other day. Almost.
P.S. Full disclosure: On a subsequent visit (yesterday), Wally, safe in Dad's arms, allowed many pettings and purred in a most satisfactory way. The Human, in her weakness, has forgiven his previous lapse of courtesy.
The Human went to visit Cousins Aggie and Wally on Furriday. And how did they repay her kind attentions? By darting UTB and staying put, that's how!
That is, staying put until dragged out under protest by their Dad. Only Aggie was subjected to this indignity; Mr. Wally retreated beyond the reach of Human grabby-hands (Good Boy!)
Miss Aggie allowed momentary contact before fleeing to safety once again. Last night, Aggie's Dad communicated the following:In atonement for fleeing fearfully Friday, she exiled herself to the Green Tent in solitary mourning until she felt cleansed of her sin.
Judging from the above photo attached to her Dad's email, the Green Tent is quite the step up from her usual digs.
And, oh yes, I understand there's a Football Game of some sort today. I will root enthusiastically(cough, cough) for that team from some Large Eastern City that is not Boston.
Hello, Kitties! The King is displeased with Blogger because he thinks something funny is going on with dates and stuff, and he thinks he was kind of invisible yesterday.
He hopes it is better today so that he does not have to issue any Royal Decrees of Painful Punishment.
Meanwhile, it's Furriday and Life is Good!