Tuesday, February 28, 2012

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Aggie & Wally

He's been sooooo useless since the, um, operation.

Twisty Tuesday

I was sleeping very soundly with my leg flung over my head, exposing all my curly-furs.
And it was soooooo comfertabuls, too.

Monday, February 27, 2012

ManCat Monday: Did I Give You Purrmission

to return to work this morning and leave me again? I like Furiday nights and Caturdays and Sundays, when you are at home to attend to my Royal Needs.
Does this look of Disapproval not concern you at all?
Well, maybe it should, Human, maybe it should.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Easy Sunday: Washcloth Love

Yes, there just might possibly be a controlled substance on this little yellow washcloth. Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Oh, the Shame, the Shame

All right, yes, technically speaking, I *was* in the Human's lap. This blurry bit of photographic evidence really cannot be disputed, but it wasn't for long, and I wasn't really enjoying myself.
I think you can see my obvious distress for yourself, right?

Friday, February 24, 2012

Taste Test

In an effort to force me encourage me to eat kibble that is "healthier" for me (and by the way *I'll* be the judge of that, thankyouverymuch), the Human dropped a truly alarming number of green papers on some fancy food. Here it is:

                     Castor & Pollux       Innova           Wellness           Wilderness

After several hours, this* was the result:
The Castor and Pollux is a Whole Paycheck Foods product, and was, surprisingly, the least expensive of the four. It was the plate I emptied first. The Innova was a close second, but the other stuff--yucko. She has mixed some of it in now with the favorites because she says she is not going to get rid of it just because I don't freaking like it, not after all those green papers went flyin' out the door.

And that's the way it is on Spitty's tray, today, February 24, 2012.

*Please notice the blurring in Photo #2. You know how hard it is to get a clear, sharp picture of small plates--they just won't keep still!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

"The thing's hollow—it goes on forever—and—oh my God—it's full of stars!"

My Tunnel. It's connected to all of your Tunnels. 
There's a whole Universe of Tunnels!
Can you even imagine?

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Wordless Wednesday: From the Wormhole

Lasers on Stun.
Whew! Force Field deactivated. Escape imminent.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Atop the Great Chain of Being

First there was:
Then along came:
Eventually the Colonies rid themselves of:
Now finally there is:
The Evolution of Kings has reached its pinnacle.

Monday, February 20, 2012

ManCat Monday

is long.

*     *     *     *     *
No, the King is not anorexic, just naturally svelte and slender.
I will name no names, but SomeHuman is bitterly envious. Maybe she should substitute Fancy Feast and kibble for pizza and burritos?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Sunday Song

Inspired by Callie, I am giving free reign this morning 
to my Royal Voice. 
Please feel free to join in--the more the merrier:

Stray cat strut, I'm a ladies' cat,
A feline Casanova, hey man, thats where its at
Get a shoe thrown at me from a mean old man
Get my dinner from a garbage can

Yeah don't cross my path

I don't bother chasing mice around
I slink down the alley looking for a fight
Howling to the moonlight on a hot summer night
Singin' the blues while the lady cats cry,
"Wild stray cat, you're a real gone guy."

Well, even a King has His dreams, you know.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
Say, isn't it getting to be time for the Annual PurrFormance Reviews? Does anykitty know when those are officially scheduled, because I've been sharpening my claws and my wits.

Saturday, February 18, 2012


Kitties! There are 379,878 cars registered in San Francisco.
What are the chances that Two Identical Blue Toyotas would end up parked right.next.to.each.other in front of our building?
It must be the Harmonic Convergence
Or something.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Grabby Hands

Nope, I am not enjoyin' this, not one little bit. Definitely not. I am not burrowing my little head into the Human's hand. 
Uh-uh. No way.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

My Ten Questions

Leo and Star tagged me to answer 10 questions! Some of them seem kind of hard, but I'll do my best. My Human says this won't be for a grade, so here goes:

#1. Describe yourself in seven words. Secretive. Aloof. Smart. Vigilant. Devastatingly handsome. Royal.

#2. What keeps you up at night? Hanging out with my LadyCats, UTB and elsewhere.

#3. Who would I like to be? 
Seriously? Like I'd want to be anyone else?

#4. What am I wearing right now? Basic black.

#5. What scares me? Everything! Noises, boxes, bags, Humans, towels--you name it, it scares me.

#6. The best and worst of blogging. The best: Getting a good idea for a post! Getting the post actually done! Getting lots of fun comments! Visiting all my furiends!  The worst: Making my Human sit down and help me do all of it!

#7. The last website I visited. CNN.com. I like to keep up!

#8. What one thing would I like to change about myself? Perhaps I would like to be braver, but then I'd be Perfect and that would be dull.

#9. Slankets, yes or no? What's a slanket? Even without knowing:  No.

#10. Tell us something about the person Kitty! who tagged you.  Leo and Star are such funny, floofy gray kitties, and I can a-l-m-o-s-t tell them apart now, MOL. I want to thank them for tagging me!

Like Leo and Star, I will tag four blogs of kitties I'd like to know more about:

Katie Isabella
Simba & Audrey
Lux the Cat
Prancer Pie

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Nearly-Wordless Wednesday

Whew! Valentine's Day just about wore me out! Time for a baff and a good nap.
See you tomorrow, Kitties!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Treats from the Sweet

Well, I'm not sure I'd call my Darling CK "sweet" exactly (she might rip my head off), but she did send me these yummy, crunchy snacks called Dreamies
I think she's Dreamy too, with those big soulful eyes!
Thank you, my dear CK. The King shall enjoy them as he gazes dreamily at the enclosed photo.

           ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   

Monday, February 13, 2012

ManCat Monday

Just hanging out this morning, getting ready for the Big Day. I think I look good in red, though I am not the kind of King who wears his heart on his sleeve fur. 
 Love is in the air, my LadyCats.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Nanner Love

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. My Nip Nanner is even more lovable 
with just a touch of the 'Vine rubbed in.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Sometimes I Suspect

that the Human is keeping things from me. 
If only I had Royal Spies!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Democracy, Schemocracy!

So, Human, what is this "Constitution" of which you speak?  Some silly Human scheme, I suppose, to dethrone the King, to usurp His powers, to deprive Him of His Rightful Place atop the Great Chain of Being.
As if some Humans could make rules for the Kitties! 
Pfft. It is to laugh.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Yet Another Blogger Problem!

Hi Furiends:
For some reason tonight, we were unable to leave comments at any blogspot blogs that have word verification! They all had the same word ("smenita"). We even tried to fool it by clicking to get the disability version (the one that's said aloud) but that didn't work either. We tried rebooting, reloading, repeating and reciting bad words. Don't know if it's just us, but we hope for better luck tomorrow.
This will require a Royal Decree of Painful Punishment for somebody!
King Spitty I

Thankful Thursday

Cousin Wally is thankful his Dad rescued him from the shelter and gave him a wonderful home with the soft warm beds, the tasty noms, the fun toys and the annoying lovable sisfur Aggie.
We are featuring Wally today because Cousin Aggie has had much more blog time recently here at SpittySpeaks, and we don't want Wally to feel slighted.
The Human loves watching Wally sleep so cozily in this picture. She can (almost) forgive him for hiding from her the other day. Almost.

P.S. Full disclosure: On a subsequent visit (yesterday), Wally, safe in Dad's arms, allowed many pettings and purred in a most satisfactory way. The Human, in her weakness, has forgiven his previous lapse of courtesy.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Uneasy Lies the Head

Hmm, what have we here
I see a sapphire and a ruby.
Where's my jeweler's loupe?
It smells real.
Yeah, this might look good.
But just who is this "B-u-r-g-e-r K-i-n-g"?
Well, it'll do for now.

Monday, February 6, 2012

For Cod's Sake, Human!

Please, would you wash the windows???

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Keeping the Cat in the Bag

The Human went to visit Cousins Aggie and Wally on Furriday. And how did they repay her kind attentions? By darting UTB and staying put, that's how!
That is, staying put until dragged out under protest by their Dad. Only Aggie was subjected to this indignity; Mr. Wally retreated beyond the reach of Human grabby-hands (Good Boy!)
Miss Aggie allowed momentary contact before fleeing to safety once again.
Last night, Aggie's Dad communicated the following: In atonement for fleeing fearfully Friday, she exiled herself to the Green Tent in solitary mourning until she felt cleansed of her sin.                                                  
Judging from the above photo attached to her Dad's email, the Green Tent is quite the step up from her usual digs.

And, oh yes, I understand there's a Football Game of some sort today. I will root enthusiastically (cough, cough) for that team from some Large Eastern City that is not Boston.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Not Sure Why

they call it a "Pigskin"?
Um, Go Giants and all.

Friday, February 3, 2012

TGI Furriday

Hello, Kitties! The King is displeased with Blogger because he thinks something funny is going on with dates and stuff, and he thinks he was kind of invisible yesterday.
He hopes it is better today so that he does not have to issue any Royal Decrees of Painful Punishment.
Meanwhile, it's Furriday and Life is Good!

Thursday, February 2, 2012


and s-t-r-e-t-c-h, and bend
and s-t-r-e-t-c-h and Reach for the Sky!
Oh, never mind.