Saturday, August 31, 2013

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Nellie who?
Stop asking questions and lemme out of this thing! That's Who!

Nellie's arrival was SHOCKING, yes it was. I heard a terrible sound from the dining room and came running. As soon as I realized what was happening, I freed her from that terrible prison and took her to cuddle and relax on the Blue Pillows.
Even though it is her Blue Pillow, I thought Sweet CK would understand because, after all,
it's Nellie we're talking about here. Nellie!
After her terrible PTU shock, I was a little surprised to find out
she wanted to go to . . . 
But I am always a good host, so I fired up the Furrari
and we headed out to Powell Street, where we paused at the top
of a hill just behind a cable car. You can see
Alcatraz in the hazy distance, though!

Now you must go to Nellie's to read of our dangerous and exciting adventures there! 
Go ahead, I'll wait for you right here!

Thank Ceiling Cat that Fritzie, my Viceroy in the Western Realm, 
arranged for a Clawyer right away! He took care of those mean cops  just as if he did that everyday. Nellie and I were soooooo grateful!
We were headed for home at last.
We had had enough of that foggy island to last two more of our lifetimes!
Safely at home again, the Furrari cooling in the garage, 
Nellie and I fell deeply asleep for some time. I don't know about her, 
but I had nightmares about being  confined permanently
to one of those cold, narrow cells on the Rock.
Thankfully, Nellie's soft purrs and excellent ear-washies soothed me, 
and sweeter dreams followed soon after.
As the day drew to a close and Nellie and I recovered from our adventures,
the time came for her to tunnelport northward,
back to her Canadian home, and everyone awaiting her there,
including that little introodur Jo-Jo,
who, thank Ceiling Cat, did not follow her here--or we might have left her on Alcatraz!
I kissed her goodbye and she stepped up to the Blue Tunnel . . .

Bye-bye, Sweet Nellie! Thanks for coming to visit me!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Help Wanted

A Viceroy is one who rules a country or province as the representative of his sovereign or king and who is empowered to act in the sovereign’s name. Fritzie is Viceroy of my Western Realm, which extends from 18th Avenue to the Great Highway that borders the Pacific Ocean.
NB:  On this map you can see Fritzie's Realm (red), Punapippuri's Presidio (green), and My Castle (royal purple).

I am of course always willing to accept applications for Viceroy from Loyal Kitties everywhere who are dedicated to being my representative and acting responsibly in my name.

mean, who needs some good Viceroys more than me?

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Every King Needs a Viceroy

 Fritzie here is mine, and a mighty fine Viceroy he is, too.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Drippy Cold = Blurry Photos

Don't know why that should be, but clearly her dripping nose has clouded her vision. Really, makes no nevermind to me, as long as I am being petted and coddled. Which, as you can see, 
I am.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Rode Hard and Put Away Wet

Yep, Pawd'ners, it's been a tough day, what with  Morning Patrol and the constant complaining of the Human who seems to have contracted a little summer cold which you'd think was freakin' pneumonia the way she's carrying on about it. She's been nothing but trouble ever since she got home from work. 

Stuff a few Kleenexes up there and zip it, Human.  Can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Morning Patrol

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date 

No time to say "Hello", "Goodbye" 
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late 

I'm a very busy ManCat in the morning,
Conducting my inspections
And making sure my breakfast is ready on time.

She got dinged today for the unmade bed
And the failure to refill my second water bowl.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Weekend Wastrel

Okay, Human, thanks for the brushies and the chat.
I have to go now, though, because it's time 
to start practicing my easy for Sunday.
I want to make sure I do it just right
in case any LadyCats are watching me today
and would maybe like to come over and join me.

I know it looks like I am taking up most of the room here on my tower
(I have expanded a bit in the past year since my you-know-what),
but there are a lot of other comfy spots here at Chez Spit-tay.
Just in case, you know, anykitty might be interested.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Cruising on By

Well, Hidey-Ho there, Human! Think I'll come on over
and see what you're doing at the desk. . .
Well, geez, this is all really a bore.
Lesson plans? Summer reading tests?
I am not the least bit interested in any of that.
Maybe you could let me know when you start
teaching Cat on a Hot Tin Roof 
or Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats.
Till then, I'll just see what Bird TV has to offer. 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Nommity ● Nom ● Nom

I was soooooo hungry this afternoon I didn't even pretend to turn my nose up at my early dinner. Usually I take a few sniffs and walk away, just on principle, you know, to make the Human feel like a failure, but today I dug right in. 

I wasn't thrilled she dragged out the Flashy Box, but it was not going to deter me from my favorite turkey dinner. Mmmmmmm. Delishus! She's being extra nice to me to make up for the fact that she's consumed with guilt over 'bandoning me efurry day now. I'm not letting her off the hook for some tasty noms, either. No sirree, Bob. It'll take more than that.

Now brushies? Well, brushies would be a good start.

P.S. Breaking News:  Head right over to Nellie's where you will be able to witness the Most Fantastic Royal Event since the birth of Little Prince You-Know-Who!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Wakeful Wednesday

Nah! Made you look, though, didn't I?

Monday, August 19, 2013


If I said this is what the Human's (well, MY) desk looks like most of the time, I'd be telling the truth but the Human would be embarrassed. 
So, yeah, this is what our desk looks like most of the time, MOLIt looks a lot worse when *I* am not on it, of course.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

I Need Them Both

                   No, I'm sorry, Human. There is no room for you. 
                   I need BOTH pillows. 
                   Now if you were a LadyCat, we might be having a different conversation.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Sidewalk TV

                                Rather a dull show today. A few pigeons, a dispirited woofie 
                                or two, and a plentiful supply of poorly-dressed Humans. Alas, 
                                no parades for Black Cat Appreciation Day. I guess everyone
                                was too busy with Back-to-School sales. Typical.
                                Good thing it's always the purrfect time for a nappy!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Spitty Is Floofy

Hello Kitties, Here I am looking rather pensive, some might say peeved or perturbed, and still others might choose a word that starts with P and ends with Off.

And why should this be, you might ask yourself? Well, Let Me Tell You.

For weeks and weeks, the Human and I had our little routine: We stayed up late. I got a nice snack around midnight. I got brushed just before the Human's bedtime, which crept closer and closer to 2:00 a.m. In the morning, which sometimes began around 9:00, I got my breakfast, and was played with and brushed some more. Then, maybe, the Human went off to school for, oh, two- or three-hour work days?

When she came home, there were more pettings, perhaps some more brushies or playtime, and then she might have gone shopping or met her friend for a walk or movie and dinner. Later she came home and there were more playtimes and brushies. My blog posting and visiting were done at leisure. It was a rich and rewarding life.

But times change, my furiends, times change. This week, there has been a terrible beeping sound at the bare crack of dawn. Showers are had, clothing is arranged, my breakfast is slapped down before me, practically in the dark, and there are no more morning playtimes or brushies. 

She leaves me, for hours and hours and HOURS. And when she comes home, I'm just not feelin' the Love anymore. Yes, I (usually) get to do my post; yes, I am fed--but those long hours of playing interspersed with blog visiting? Well, that's given way to lots of yapping and complaining with her fellow disgruntled teacher friends, or worse, to non-teacher friends who tell her to SHUT UP since they've not had a vacation in, like, six freaking years or something and why is she even b*tching about it?

Yeah, so that's life around Chez Spit-tay these days. And it isn't pretty.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Faculty Cat Gallery

Hi Kitties! The Human has returned to ::shudder:: work and has been more than a little discombobulated. I am going to try to make sure she helps me visit starting tonight and tomorrow. I cannot indulge this "tired" excuse any longer. 
I mean, is it my fault she goes gallivanting off to birthday parties (last night) and "new family dinners" (tonight)? No benefit of any kind accrues to me from any of these activities--quite the opposite, in fact. My dinner is delayed, pettings are virtually nonexistent and don't even get me started about the appalling lack of brushies.
For your entertainment this evening, we present the door of a metal cabinet in the Human's office which is devoted to ME (with red stars) and some other, (ahem) less important, faculty cats.
There are faculty members with woofies, but so far none has been granted gallery status.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Not-A-Garden Tour: Silly Woofies
at the Albany Bulb

The Human and her friend took a nice walk last week on the Albany Bulb, a strange piece of landfill that juts out into San Francisco Bay. This little video shows the view from bridge-to-bridge on a cold and foggy day. However, evidently the woofies (thrashing in the water and playing fetch at beginning and end of our little movie) did not read the weather report, or care about it. *I* and the rest of my kind would rather curl up in nice warm beddies and conserve our energy for more important pursuits, like stalking Human ankles and toy mice.

There's also a boatload of strange artwork* on this little promontory, but that's a post for another Thursday.

* Like this face painted on a piece 
of broken rebar and concrete:

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


I apologize for the poor quality of this video. I am actually pretty humiliated that the Human is posting it at all. But my fellow Royal Punapippuri insisted, and I am nothing if not his obedient servant.

This is quite a gentle butt-thumpin' as butt-thumpins go. Sometimes I like a little firmer touch, but it will do as an illustration of the practice at Chez Spitty.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Abandoned, Day 2

So, the Human returned just before midnight--I was prostrate with hunger and loneliness. But she went to bed anyway, and when she got up this morning she made short shrift of brushing and feeding me before taking off for a stoopy baseball game featuring the National League West cellar-dwellers, The San Francisco Giants, who lived up (down) to their reputation and suffered yet another loss, bringing them to a 52-65 record, thirteen games behind the division-leading Dodgers. Sigh.
I tried to remind her I was home waiting for her. Can you see how?

Friday, August 9, 2013

Lonely Caturday

The Human tells me this evening that she is going out of town tomorrow for a birthday party to which I have not been invited. Now I know what you're thinking, but it would have been nice to be asked.
She says she's leaving in the late morning and will be back by bedtime, but I'm worried. What if I get hungry before then? What if I eat too much breakfast and there's nuffing left for later? What if I want to play? Or, worse, have brushies
What about all that?

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Theepy Thurthday

I'm so tie-tie today.
I think Precious wore me out.
Thilence, please.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Big Purr

While others may call this breathtaking stretch of California's Central Coast "Big Sur," 
I have been made privy to its true and original name, "Big Purr,"
so called by the Ohlone people after the gentle melodies 
of the original feral cat population.

In any event, I knew the Beauteous Precious of Prancer Pie was exhausted 
from the oppressive heatwaves sweeping over the Midwest, so I roared over, 
scooped her up, and we made excellent time back to the cool California coast.
We stopped to rest at a tiny secluded beach with its own waterfall. 
The lapping of the waves joined with the splash of the falls
to lull us into gentle slumbers through the pleasant afternoon. 
I ventured close enough to allow Precious to give my ears a good washing
while I rested my furry head on her soft front paws.
We managed to stay dry while enjoying the occasional tiny spray of the surf!
Later, we stopped in a field of wildflowers and chased tiny mice and gophers
See how our steady gaze searched them out?
They made an excellent repast, and we sipped on  half-and-half I had stowed
away in a cooler in the Furrari's tiny trunk.
By this time, it was becoming almost too cool so I whisked
Precious home where she actually welcomed the warmth.
I crept away as she took a leisurely baff back in her own home, 
leaving only some pink roses
as evidence of our romantic afternoon by the sea.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Neighborhood Watchcat

is too easily distracted to save you from criminals.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Spitty, Professional Interior Decorator

~ I'm available for consultation about all your decorating needs ~

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Step Right Up!

                                 Kissies on head:         50¢
                                 Cuddles afterward:   $1

                                 Risk of injury:            Priceless

Saturday, August 3, 2013

My Eastern Beauty

It was tough deciding which of the Seven Beauties from Cat on My Head 
to take on this weekend's Furrari ride as they all seemed equally eager to hop in,
but Misty May's delicate pink and black nosicle and alluring golden eyes 
made her irresistible!
We sped off, heading for Cape Hatteras National Seashore.
The 400 miles sped by in a flash as the Furrari purred gently beneath us 
and we exchanged meowsy stories about our lives.
We arrived shortly after dawn, climbed out onto the soft dunes and played chase games 
and caught fishies till we settled onto the warm sand for a nice nappy.

As the day drew to a close, we turned the Furrari northwest-ward, and I left Misty May
sleeping with abandon on her deck.
I wonder if she'll remember who left those roses for her?

Friday, August 2, 2013

Le Roi Soleil Has His Baff

P.S. Lookie!
Oops! Is my Human's face ever RED today!
My furiend Simba 
provided a link to these EXACT mousies and 
I forced the Human at claw-point
to order me THREE packs of them!

I am so grateful to my furiends 
for all their help...some provided
links and some even went so far
as to offer to share their furry own
purrsonal smousies with yours truly. 
I cannot thank you enough but now 
that the Human has ordered these, 
I will not be needing to deprive any 
of you of your beloved toys!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

This Mousie Is Too Big

I like the tiny, sisal-wrapped mousies with feather tails, but the Human wrings her aging hands and says she cannot find them any more at PetSmart or the small neighborhood pet store near our house. 
I say, "Pish-tosh! You are not trying hard enough! There are a LOT of stores you haven't been to, Ms. LazyPants!!"
This mousie is too large, and while it does have sorta-sisal wrapped around it, it is weird shiny stuff. It is not a ManCatly Mouse at all.
I am disappointed.