Spaghetti, Not the Good Kind

All right,
that's it.

I'm calling
the fire department.

NomNomNom

Yes! I can! I can eat this plant
ALL I WANT because

NOBODY can stop me!

Listen Up!

Yo, Woman! There's a reason I climb into my comfy tiny tent.
Can you guess what it is?

Conversing with Humans

What she says:

Spitty, get off the table.


What I say:

You talkin' to me?

Mr. Nippy

Mr. Nippy has a velcro tummy
where mom stuffs the, well, you know.

Some days, I dig my claws into Mr. Nippy
and rub him all over my face.

Other days, not so much.

Yeah, I can quit anytime.

Why I Can't Has Outside Fun

This is the view from my Tower, from which I observe the neighborhood. I watch cars and neighbors, crazy homeless guys, trucks, lost buses, doggies and other denizens of my neighborhood as they go about their business every day.

I am not allowed to go out there, which annoys me, but even I have to admit it doesn't look very kitteh-friendly.

Still, a guy can dream, can't he?

Peel Me a Grape

This is why
it's okay sometimes
when she doesn't make the bed.

Oh, and forget the grape.
I'll have a slice of fresh tuna
with just a dot of caviar.

My Pink Enchantress

The Pink Enchantress torments me in my dreams and dances tantalizingly before me in my waking hours. I try to resist its hypnotic power, but I am weak, and I succumb. It's. . . humiliating.
Is there a 12-Step program for this?

My Close-Up

It only took her about nine thousand tries with that damn flashy box in my face.

And I'm still blurry.

But don't my eyes look nice?

DinnerDreams

Sometimes when I nap, I dream of my favorite Whiskas tuna flavors, and when I wake up,

they've actually appeared!

Purple resurrection

Nope, I didn't eat it after all.
I left it as a gift, though, because I thought it went well with those weird sheets (snert, snert).

Wait! What? It's at least as good as a mint!

Note: Bed unmade. Again.

The Tree

This is The Tree I see out the dining room window. It is a very interesting tree, full of tiny twittering birds that I would enjoy eating, but sadly cannot reach.

See that garage roof? If the window were open just a liiiittttttle wider, I could stand on that roof and eat those birds.

I've asked nicely, but all I ever hear is, "No, Spitty."

I can haz privacy?

Look, I just really need to lick under this armpit now.
Can we have the photo op later?

Another stupid rule:

"Don't eat this plant."

Yeah, like I can't nibble my favorite greenery because she moved it maybe 6 inches away. Right.

SO Not My Fault

Yeah, um, if you don't want fur on your pillow, make the bed.

Purple Thing

I don't much like this purple-sparkly-feather-mousie thing. I think I'll eat it.

First Post

Well, after years of reading blogs of those other kitties with moms and dads who love them enough to let them have their own blogs, I have prevailed at last. I have worn The Womun down and it feels mighty good. She has pathetic computer skills so it might take awhile to get this off the ground. Still, it's a start so I won't complain.....yet.