It Is a Dark and Stormy Night

When I'd rather be in my beddie-cave, 

admiring the show my tailio is offering

than out there in the cold deserted streets 
where no one is dining al fresco at the tiny cafe.

Dear Megan

As some of you noted, yesterday we received The Comment of the Year from our Loyal Reader Megan in Sydney, Australia. Both Spitty and I enjoyed her lengthy missive, though perhaps for different reasons . . .

Some Helpful Tips to be Going Along With 

(from an Avid Fan):

- You need to focus attention on your headlines, Spitty. "The Human and I Disagree" is hardly commentworthy, let alone a headline - it's the standard state of affairs, I would have thought, in your household. Headlines are meant to grab attention. More effort required please.

Spitty: Thank you! No kidding, right??? I had a much better headline in mind but the Human said, "Oh no, Spitty! You can't use those kind of HBO words on your family-friendly blog." *I* say, And just whose family is THAT?

The Human: When Spitty can write a clever headline and still keep a civil tongue in his head, then perhaps I'll let him write some better headlines. I will go so far as to agree that this one was . . . uninspired. So, how do you like *today's* headline?

- Now, you know that I'm on your side, 10000%, don't you? So, you've also got to know that when I provide constructive criticism, it is well intentioned - designed to help you continue to improve yourself and your reputation and your blog. So - are you ready? Here's the thing: in complaining about having these particular photographs published, you are, I'm afraid to say, being hypocritical. It wasn't all that many weeks ago that you complained about the fact that the Human had the temerity to post without including a pic of you. And I agreed. So, it's hardly fair or proper that you're now complaining that the Human has included pics of you in today's post. 

Spitty: Are you calling me hypocritical? ::incredulous:: So, like, I guess that your "10000%" is really only 9995%? Is that what you mean when you say 10000? 'Cause, now, how can I really trust you again???

The Human:  Exactly, Megan. Exactly. Thank you.

- You couldn't behave in an undignified way if your life depended on it. You are a King. It follows, by definition, that everything you do is regal - and dignified. You are worrying about the wrong stuff: today's pics are delightful.

Spitty: Why, thank you, Megan! I had not quite considered it from quite this angle! Perhaps it's like when Richard Nixon was being interviewed by David Frost and Frost asked him, "Would you say that there are certain situations - and the Huston Plan was one of them - where the president can decide that it's in the best interests of the nation, and do something illegal?" And Nixon answered, "Well, when the president does it, that means it is not illegal." So, no matter WHAT the heck I do, it's all good. In fact, it's Royal. And thereby both dignified and delightful.  Thanks, Megan!

The Human: Nice role model, Spitty.

- People do need things to cheer them up. And kitties are the things designed for exactly that purpose. Indeed, that's why the internet was invented: so that kitties would have much wider scope for getting themselves 'out there', cheering humans up no matter when in the world they were. Carry on the good work

Spitty: Will do. It's my mission.

The Human: Oh, please.

- Where did this entirely arbitrary goal of 300 posts per year come from? There are 365 days in the year and, to be honest, I think you've set the bar very very low if you're aiming for only 300 posts. 365 per year would be reasonable, and 400 a good 'stretch' target for 2017 - surely there's so much you want to share with your readers that trying to squeeze it all into 400 posts per year would be a struggle. Let it out, Spitty.

Spitty: Again, thank you! I look at 365 as the minimum acceptable number of times per year to vent my spleen instruct my People regarding the proper relationship between Royal Felines and Human peons. Really, without my daily reminders, some of those felines might do their Human's bidding, and frankly that's just appalling and dangerous.

The Human: When you are paying the rent, Spitty, and when you grow the thumbs, then (maybe) your opinion will count.

See ya tomorrow ('cos it's not too late to make a last-minute pitch to achieve 400 posts in 2016, you know).

Spitty: ::eyes light up::

The Human: ::dissolves in gales of hysterical laughter::

Megan
Sydney, Australia

The Human and I Disagree

Now, here's the thing, Kitties. Yesterday was Post #299 for 2016. I say, We have 

19 days more to reach our 300-post goal for the year. What's the hurry? There will

be lots and lots of opportunities that don't involve pictures of Me, King Spitty I,

flailing about in a most undignified way on the dining room floor.

But, "Nooooooooo," says the Human. "We need to get #300 in the books 

and then I won't have fret about it or listen to you complain about it

every single day." Besides, she says, I look funny and people and kitties alike

need something to cheer them up in these stressful times, right?

Well, maybe she's right. But I think she just wants a good excuse to skip a lot 

of posting days. And please, don't laugh loud enough for me to hear. 

I do have feelings, you know.

Sunday Selfie: Did You Hear?

Grass is legal now!

What do you mean, It always was?

I'm practically sure that back in the day, some Humans and Kitties went to jail for it, right?

Now I don't have to grow mine in the closet anymore and hide from the PoPo, right?

C'mon now, don't lie to Spitty. I mean, I've been around the block! I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.

Right?

Caturday Playtimes

Oh! Oh! OH!

Kitties, 
Look! Oh just Look! At what came for me in the mail today from the multi-talented Ms. Stacy!

Do I not look even *MORE* handsome and alluring than I am in real life? Is that not Raven herself perched on my own little heady?

This is the best thing that has come in my mail since . . . since . . . since . . . well, since EVER, that's when!

We just don't even know how to say Thank You, 
but we'll work on it. And believe it or not, this was not the *only* thing in the box. But tonight, this glorious image of Yours Truly must needs stand alone!

Heat Worship

The Human ruthlessly cut the Radiator God (at right, just beyond the frame) out of this photo, as He is messily painted and the tray underneath quite dirty.

I hope it does not make the R.G. angry enough to withdraw his blessed warmth. I'm sure she meant no offense.