Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Pooping Out Pinkie?





I was feeling all warm and stretchy and relaxed when suddenly the Human said, "Spitty! Did you eat Pinkie and poop him out again?"

"Of course not," I replied indignantly.

But really, so what if I had?

What business is it of hers?

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

                                 I'm All Tuckered Out

from Katie Isabella's Board Meeting this afternoon.
It was brutal
I think some kitties' Human staff got fired.

In other news, the Human wanted to get
all artsy early this morning so she took
this picture with her phone cause she liked the foggy
gray skies with the little spots of sun, but in the picture
it just looks like smoke. But it wasn't.
I think she needs a new hobby.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Saturday, May 20, 2017

                    Sunday Selfie: This Is My Life Now

Yes, Kitties, it has come to this. I must needs nap away my days, starving, unloved and unplayed-with* as the Human spends all her waking hours and what little energy she possesses at her advanced age at her loathesome (to me) j-o-b. Oh, she talks a good game ("It'll be summer soon, Spitty, and we'll have a good time then, Spitty"), but I have excellent reason to be skeptical. Promises are cheap and follow-through far from guaranteed. At least she *was* helping me post, till last Tuesday, that is. Then even my single line to the outside world was unceremoniously severed. Oh, the Humanity! It's an outrage is what it is.
* Okay, maybe not starving.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

In the Grand Tradition of

James & the Giant Peach, we present 
Spitty and His Late-Night Snack

Monday, May 15, 2017

Huddling Up

Some days, I find it's best to just burrow into my comfy cave and tune out the tumult and the shouting of the Human world and its "news bulletins."

If they actually mean something, they'll still be there tomorrow, and if they don't, best not to hear them and fret unnecessarily. And honestly, is necessary fretting even a thing? I think not.



Sunday, May 14, 2017

Sunday Selfie: Sleepytimes Spitty




Lullaby and good night 
Now the daytime is over

You wouldn't think I'd like the Human to sing to me, but I do.














And . . .
Happy Mother's Day to Moms of all kinds, including the Human's beloved Mom and Grandma across the Bridge.

Friday, May 12, 2017

              I Feel G-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-d

                        Please, can it be playtimes now? You're late.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Purry Purry Blurry

 
It's a happy soothing sound that the Humans 
cannot make because they are not worthy.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

        All Right, Mr. DeMille, I'm Ready for My Close-Up

If the l-a-z-y Human would paint my hideous-but-beloved radiator, 
you too could gaze upon the Object of my Worship.

Monday, May 8, 2017

           The King in His Natural Habitat

Please note the Royal Blankie has lived to see another day, 
and a Golden Glow seems to be radiating from my nether regions.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Just because my Human is too busy lazy to help me visit my friends lately 
doesn't mean I can't go traveling on my own.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Sunday Selfie: Always Up on the 411































Who needs Hoodline when I can see all the neighborhood misbehavior 
I want from the comfort of my little purple beddy? Also, please note 
the fetching little paw today. Is it not très charmant?

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

May the Fourth Be With You







I'm just waiting on the Millennium Falcon to drop by and scoop me up. I'm certain
Han & Chewy will let me bring my blankie.



Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Christmas in May

Last December, the Swiss Cats sent me all sorts of Very Fine Presents, among them this Christmas Blanket, to which I have become irrationally* attached (*the Stoopy Human's term, not mine, I hasten to assure you).
A few weeks ago, she threatened to "put it away" to which I said, "Go ahead. I dare you."

Q.E.D.  Heh, heh.



Monday, May 1, 2017

Glorious MayDay

Happy Spring to All Creatures Great and Small. It's time for window whiffies and electric fans. It was over 80° again today, but not for long and the temp is dropping fast (sorries East Bay neighbors). Life is good again.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Spitty's Spiffy Sunday Selfie

Newsflash: It was over 80° today. No, no, no, no, no!

Spitty has not approved such a$$hattery and wishes to file a complaint with the Proper Authorities. The Human says that is not her and really there is probably no one who can help me. That doesn't sound right, though, does it? 
Wasn't it that stoopy Apollo guy who drove the sun across the sky? He prolly has a cell number. Anybody got it? Maybe I could text him.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

You Just Can't Trust a Human

 During spring break, I came to allow the Human unusual liberties. She was allowed some lap time, she was allowed to walk right up and pick me up, she suffered not a single wound. However, spring break came to a crashing halt last Monday. The rules have reverted to their usual state: Do not stalk me, do not pick me up, do not expect a warm welcome when you suddenly reappear after 10 hours. Got thatColor me suspicious.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Cleanliness Is Next to Codliness




Sometimes the Human offers to give me a Real Baff, but then she explains that it means putting my beautiful furry body in  water. ::shudder::

As if Spitty would ever do that!

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

This? She Walks Away from This Every Morning?

I really don't see how she can, do you?
I sat in the hallway this morning and gazed mournfully at her as she backed furtively through the door, ashamed.

As well she should be.


She told me tonight that tomorrow the drama class and the a cappella singers are having their spring performance and she will be staying at school till Cod only knows when. I will probably starve, right? 

But she'll have seen her show and so it will have all been worth it.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Sunday Selfie: So You Think You Need
to Go Back to Work Tomorrow?



Because, really, you don't.

You can just stay home here with me all the time.

As I would prefer.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

IKEA Cat












Some assembly required.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

               Mr. Manly ManCat

Now, ordinarily, my mancatliness is a matter taken for granted,
and I feel no need to comment upon it. However, today the Human
managed this additional close up (below) which wonderfully highlights
my very substantial, meaty upper arms. Spitty's got guns, Kitties.


Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Tuesday Trickery

This nice throw was a gift to the Human many, many moons ago (not to be confused with the most excellent blanket-size version Punapippuri sent us last fall).

We like our throw, but it is missing, oh, je ne sais quoi? There's a Tuxie, and a Calico, and a Meezer, and a Ginger, and a Tabby and a Whitester. But . . . but . . . well, surely you see the glaring omission

Monday, April 17, 2017

                                                     Cat by a Hot Tin Radiator



These gray and rainy skies are signs that Spring has not Sprung. However, the chill in the air has motivated the Human to turn on the radiators and me to take up The Position directly in front of it.

Do I not look adorable?

Sunday, April 16, 2017

              Hoppy Easter, Efurrybody!

                       We hope you have an eggsciting and eggstraordinary and eggscellent 
                       day filled with good times and good noms!

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Exciting Times!


Kitties, I know I may not *look* excited, but believe me, this is as worked up as I get these days, ha ha meow.

Yes, Spring Break has sprung and perhaps it is time for my Christmas Blanket to be put away. The Human should be doing lots of chores for me in the next 10 days. 

Starting tonight.


Wednesday, April 12, 2017

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

One more sleep and wake-up and the Human will be on Easter Break, midday tomorrow till the 24th. Just imagine what I can demand she do for me!

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

                     My Patented Two-Way Stretch

Yes, you Loyal Readers know I have a fetching two-part stretch 
that the Human mocks me for, saying I am a freak of nature. 
What care I for her opinion of my ManCatly habits
I frowed up a furball and some kibble on the rug today. 
If she'd been nicer to me I would've tried harder to make it to the kitchen.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Sunday Snacktime Selfie

I dunno what putrid Fancy Feast flavor the Human tried to pawn off as breakfast this morning, but Uh-uh, no-how, no-way was Yours Truly going to consume even a morsel. Finally, around 3:00 p.m. the Old Bat took pity on me and opened a new can. If she cared at all, that would've happened like seven hours ago.

I wonder how long you are expected to starve and suffer before your Human replaces the poisonous offering with something more to your liking? Is there a rule?

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Peaceable King(dom)





























It is Caturday. The rain has let up. I am warmwell-fed & brushed. The Human is home
Is this the Complaint Apocalypse?

Friday, April 7, 2017

OMC!






















I was *just* emerging from the transporter when the Human 
snapped this photo! One second earlier and my hindquarters might 
have been left behind at -- oops! Almost gave away a tad too much 
information there, didn't I? What a close call!

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

(Sort of) Thankful Thursday

The Human has Spring Break coming right up (they have a half day on Thursday, April 13, and then she is officially on vacation till April 24). That is 11 whole days (I am excellent at counting.)
She has promised me that this break will not follow the pattern of previous vacations when I have been shunted aside,  abandoned for days & days while she goes and has funtimes with her other friends. Oh no, she is staying right here with me even if I have to sink every one of my 18 claws into her. See? There's that counting thing again.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

              Tuesday Top Cat

You really think I'm gonna let that mutton on the hoof 
hog the spotlight on my blog? Phfffft. It is to laugh, Kitties.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Baa Baa Black (White) Sheep (Lambie)


The Human struck gold this weekend when a friend who is redecorating offered her this really, really, really adorable* quilt.

* Now, Spitty knows what you're thinking, Kitties: How can anything that isn't one of US be "adorable," and to be honest, you're absolutely right. If this were a kitty, it would be adorable3, no question about it. But for a Lambie, he's pretty cute.






N.B. What's doubly insulting about this is that it's an "art quilt." And what the Sam Hill is that, I want to know! The only use of a quilt I can think of is to lie about on it and squirm and fur it all up real good, till it's nice and comfy and smells just right. I mean, what do I get from staring at it hanging on a wall?


Sunday, April 2, 2017

Sunday Selfie Sunbaff























Nuffing like a good Spring Cleaning on a sunny Sunday. Makes a Boy feel fresh & feisty.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Thursday, March 30, 2017

No, It Most Certainly Does Not Need to Be Washed

But I know something that will need a rinse in Bactine if you try to lift me off here. Capisce?

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

On the Good Ship . . . .

¯Lollipop ¯¯

This is so humiliating, Kitties. For the third day this week she photographed me on my favorite tower by the window, where the afternoon sun streams in. 

That much was A-OK. You know how we kitties love our sameness, day-in, day-out. 

But then (oh, how I blush to say!) she started calling me her ©-shaped Little Lollipop Man cause my dangly foot looked like the stick part.

Gag me.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Monday, March 27, 2017

Messy ManCat Monday?

Okay, I get that reasonable felines might conclude that I am a tad, well, rumpled springs to mind.  But messy? As if!  This ManCat meows Nyet to that nonsense.