Thursday, July 20, 2017

                    The Human's Visit to the Kit Tea Cafe:
                                     Oh, the Betrayal!

This nice lady in the beige fell in love with a sweet orange kitty,
who loved her right back. It seems other ornj kitties felt the same.
This is Uncle Ron who is a bit of a Feline Dandy. He likes clothes, 
he likes looking out the window, and worst of all
he likes my Human.
Oh, but Kitties, it was seeing the photographic evidence 
of this handsome boy that brought me low. 
Just LOOK at him, Kitties! Can you spell "Doppelganger"?

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

A Study of the Functionality of the White Chair

To what better purpose can this chair be put, I ask you?
So she thinks I have "damaged" her nice chair. I say 
since it can still be used for all the normal purposes 
of a chair, it is not "damaged" at all.  Q.E.D.


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Shhhhh: The Humans Are Making Art

So the Human and a friend went to the Museum of Modern Art this afternoon. It was partly wonderful and partly, well, maybe "around the bend" is a good phrase.

In one gallery a sort of street scene had been arranged (see below), complete with body-on-the-sidewalk. A well-meaning museum patron apparently didn't get the message though, and inquired repeatedly whether he was all right. He moved not a muscle, but the gallery attendant approached her, and in a portentous whisper explained, "Don't speak to him. He's performing."

Oh. Well, then, pass the popcorn

Monday, July 17, 2017

                   Ghost Kitty Disdains Your Overtures

So I am glad you enjoyed your nice day trip down the coast
yesterday, a beautiful warm afternoon, the ocean glinting 
in the sunlight, live music on the restaurant patio, a leisurely
drive home--sheer bliss. Glad you enjoyed yourselves.
But nuffing brought home for the Kitty? Un-for-giv-a-ble.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

                          Sunday Selfie: Sun Salutation

Oh, hi there Human. Nice of you to drop by and chat. I see you have
the grabby hands today, but it's nice and warm here & I don't need you.
So I'm afraid I am going to have to decline your offer of affections.
It's a big ole NOPE today. Go find your own window.


Friday, July 14, 2017

Shameless!

The Human has an old bamboo backscratcher. I have developed an affection some might call unnatural for this instrument of pleasure. I will roll on my back and beg (yes kitties: Beg) for my tummy to be scratched while my eyes flutter back in my head and my back legs flop every which way.

Good thing I'm so furry.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

What's Mine Is Mine
What's Yours Is Mine

So in the background, you can hear the kind of claptrap she listens to. Really educational and uplifting and downright edifying, isn't it?  Winter is coming.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Slothful Summer Days

Of course, all my days are slothful. As is my right as a feline overlord. The Human has been more attentive than usual, and I have become accustomed to play, food and pets on-demand. She makes noises about "don't get too used to it" and "you know I'll have to go back to work in a few weeks" but I choose to ignore all that.

*     *     *     *     *
In other news, she hasn't had one of these since July 12, 2009. Woo-hoo!

Monday, July 10, 2017

                              Until We Meet Again

Five years ago, a (dare we say testy?) Finnish King admonished me for my paw placement on World Domination Day; apparently, I had trodden a wee bit close to his borders. Mirsku Missiles were readied, so I thought it best to withdraw my toes from Punapippuri's fine realm in Finland(N).

From that unpromising start, a great and lasting friendship grew through near-daily Royal Missives and immense affection and respect. King P was my very bestest friend in all the world.

I was a lucky ManCat to have known and loved him, but I miss him. I think I will always miss him. He was a once-in-a-kitty-lifetime friend, and I hope one fine day we'll meet up again among the stars. 

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Sunday Selfie: This Is My Life Now

Once, I was a proud and aloof feline Master of the Human. I doled out affection like a slowly-dripping faucet. Now? Well, now the blandishments of the warm keyboard, the gently petting hand, the nice mat, the sweet nuffings whispered in my shell-pink ear, the little fingerfuls of Gerbers. . . well, you can see for yourselves what I've become.
Look upon me and weep, Kittens. Don't let this happen to you.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Recovering Clawstrophobic




For lo, manymanymany years, I, HRH Spitty the Kitty, eschewed the comforts of The Box 
   and The Tunnel for the world of The Wide Open Spaces. I was pretty sure that Bad Things    
   lurked inside. Apparently, I was wrong. It only took me 13 years to figure it out, though!

Friday, July 7, 2017

Talk to the Paw, Human

Well, what can I say? It's been a week! Yes, she was away for a few days, but that does not explain the lack of follow-up once she returned

The level of service continues to decline. "Outraged" does not begin to describe my dissatisfaction

Once again, she vows to do better, but she has sung that tune before. We'll see how it goes. Otherwise, I may be taking applications.

Friday, June 30, 2017

                                   A Study In Scarlet

The Human says I look a leetle, uh, well, "demonic" was the word she used. 
I think she's just angling to get me to let her put my red blankie away till Christmas. 
But really, I kind of think it's a compliment. Don't you?

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Invisibilia































Do you see me? Good. I thought not.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Tummy-Rubbin' Tuesday

If there isn't a (real) picture, It.Didn't.Happen.

Monday, June 26, 2017

                            Approaching His Majesty

This is best accomplished from a lowly position. Like kneeling. Or bowing deeply. Or both.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

ManCat Monday



After my long hike earlier, I had to get in a restorative nap. I allowed the Human to admire my beautiful paws and even take a picture of them.  You know, just to get the week off to a good start.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

                         Sunday Selfie: A Sunday Stroll

"I'd like to take a little stroll on that sunny windowsill . . . 
but I think I'll take the long way around. Okay by you?  BRB."

Friday, June 23, 2017

Friday Fun with the English Teacher

So this morning the Human stopped at the Starbucks in the Diamond Heights Safeway on her way to work. While waiting for her latte, she found herself perusing this sign, which reads:

Please do not pour the coffee into the suger continer, 
thank you for the coorporation.
                            coopration
                            cooperation.

Now, kudos to the author for doggedly pursuing the correct spelling of that tough word, cooperation.

However, the effort involved was sadly undermined by the wrongly-spelled suger and continer, and the run-on sentence (specifically a comma splice, in which a comma serves as an ineffectual substitute for a period or semicolon).

All in all, there were four errors in a sign containing 15 words, for a grade of 73%. She will grant a 7% bump for correcting cooperation, bringing the total to 80%, but deduct 2% for not recopying the sign, and another 2% for the capricious use of random capital letters (e.g., Do), bringing the final grade to 76%, a C. 

But in her heart, that 76% really represents an F because, truly, the allowable number of mistakes in a 15-word sign is none.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Sometimes a Great Notion

requires such deep thought I don't have the meows to even explain it. Food is the best thing in the universe. Or maybe a nap is. Or brushies. Or maybe my Human is. Maybe I need some sleep
--as I can feel my thoughts slipping toward delusional.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

                       Mmmmm, Delicious Wheat Grass

And on the good coffee table, too. Nice and close 
to my Nap Tower. It's just purrfect.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Napping Style Points

Gently tilted head:
9/10

Curled front paw:
10/10

Dangly back leg:
9/10

Tailio tuck:
8/10

Tidy fit on platform:
10/10


Nap Style Score: 46/50

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Sunday Selfie: Only 16 Minutes Left!




OMC, Kitties!  It's 11:44 p.m. and I can't miss another Sunday!

Misty May will worry I don't love her anymore.

I think I'll make it! Uh-oh: 13 minutes! Hope all 
the Daddio's--feline and 
Human--had a great day!

Friday, June 16, 2017

         She's Obsessed, I Tell You

Still, these are fine close-ups of my mighty paws doing one of the things they do best.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

All Summer in a Day
































So, it was sunny and kind of warm today instead of windy and drippy and gray. I quite enjoyed myself, basking in the warms and poking holes in the curtains (So what? They were tiny ones!)

Monday, June 12, 2017

It's a Bird . . . It's a Plane . . . It's My Human!


She's back. Finally.

For weeks and weeks days and days, it's been wedding-this and wedding-that, and at long last all the events are over, the deed is done and the niece is a married lady and off cavorting with The Husband in Montreal.

All of this was of no concern to me, but it is good to have the Human at my beck and call again. Really, I never think it is acceptable for her attention to be elsewhere

Amirite?

Friday, June 9, 2017

          #FlashBackFriday

                 Remember that time last February when Mickey came to visit?

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

                                                 Thinking On Thursday


Thinking is something
I usually save up
for the weekend,
but I figured,
Why not get some
in early and
then I can
nap right on 
through Caturday?

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday





























Most things look better when you put them in a circle.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Spittola/Spittoon

   First cousins





















Once removed.
   Or maybe twice.


Sunday, June 4, 2017

Sunday Selfie: Please Don't Try to Hug Me




























I know it's Hug Your Cat Day, and I know how much you want--nay, need--to do it. 
But could you at least wait till later when I'm more in the mood?

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Now You See It, Now You Have to Look for It

No, not me, Sillies, my furry toy! It's there, even in the last shot. I am just keeping it safe.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Someone Demanded Proof


Yes, cough, cough, I see you over there in Finland(N), chortling into your lakka about my advancing years.

And I do have some silver threads among the ebon; I am quite proud of them, too, as they indicate my growing wisdom and maturity. I am a teenager now (13, to be precise) and unlike Humans of that callow age, I am a venerable elder, to be listened to and obeyed.

Got that?

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Grumpier Than Thou, Grumpy Cat

And with good reason too. It is the Week of Abandonment (aka "Graduation")
and You-Know-Royal-Who has slipped down on the list of priorities. Oh yes,
I get *fed,* and sometimes she waves as she breezes through.
She says that's as good as it will get until Caturday. A Boy could expire from loneliness by then, surely. Well, perhaps not. I am good company for myself.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

                         Fevverus Interruptus

I loves my fevver but I also loves to be fresh and fragrant.
Sometimes it's quite the dilemma.

Friday, May 26, 2017

              Fee Fi Fo Fum . . . Filoli!

While I enjoyed a nice afternoon nap on Wednesday, the Human and her friend drove down to a WWI-vintage country estate on the Peninsula called Filoli*, which is now part of The National Trust for Historic Preservation. They toured the fancy old house and wandered through the formal gardens, which are filled with . . . um . . . some things the Humans call Art. Uh-huh. Okay. Why not?
Like this for instance. We think the name of this piece is Worst Nightmare of the Trout Towne Tabbies, mwah hah hah. Apparently the actual title is "Searching," and it can be yours for $6500.  Anyone? Anyone? 
Right. We didn't think so.

*The rather odd name of the place came from three words in the original owner's credo: Fight for a just cause; Love your fellow man; Live a good life. All right, we can cosign onto that.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Pooping Out Pinkie?





I was feeling all warm and stretchy and relaxed when suddenly the Human said, "Spitty! Did you eat Pinkie and poop him out again?"

"Of course not," I replied indignantly.

But really, so what if I had?

What business is it of hers?

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

                                 I'm All Tuckered Out

from Katie Isabella's Board Meeting this afternoon.
It was brutal
I think some kitties' Human staff got fired.

In other news, the Human wanted to get
all artsy early this morning so she took
this picture with her phone cause she liked the foggy
gray skies with the little dots of sun, but in the picture
it just looks like smoke. But it wasn't.
I think she needs a new hobby.