Once, I was a proud and aloof feline Master of the Human. I doled out affection like a slowly-dripping faucet. Now? Well, now the blandishments of the warm keyboard, the gently petting hand, the nice mat, the sweet nuffings whispered in my shell-pink ear, the little fingerfuls of Gerbers. . . well, you can see for yourselves what I've become.
Look upon me and weep, Kittens. Don't let this happen to you.