Happy NYE from the Slammer

Yes, Kitties, the Human is having a little party and apparently there will be guests. Cod forbid my food or little tent should be an in-con-ven-ience to anyone. Pfft.

I have been relegated to the bedroom slammer for the duration. It's an outrage, really, don't you think?

ManCat Monday + Guests

I am sleeping peacefully under Stampo's protection

in preparation for Strangers Invading my castle

Tuesday night for a hideous NYE Party.

They are old and always leave before midnight,

so there's that anyway.

These kitties are Lily and Cooper, the tarts with whom the Human

had an affair over Christmas. As you might surmise 

from that ugly throw, the photo was taken on Halloween.

They might be even a bit larger now. They are one-year-old siblings,

and the Human says they are the kind of kitties 

that go Belly Up on the first date. Pfft.

The Christmas Miracle

The Aunties who took care of me while the Human was away came over for an Adult Beverage last evening. It had been only a tad more than 48 hours since I'd seen them. As they waltzed in and sat in the living room, I did not budge from my pink beddie on the dining room chair. I did not run, I did not hide, I did not go UTB. I merely watched them with interest.

After a few minutes elapsed, I walked into the living room and inspected them from a closer vantage point. I marched up to Auntie #1 and rubbed my head on her shoe. She stayed very still, but then put out a cautious hand to pet me: I darted away. The Human sensing Progress Being Made, went into the dining room to fetch my favorite brushie, which she handed to Auntie #1. I marched right back up to her and allowed my self to be Brushed By a Stranger! While she was brushing, she was slipping in surreptitious pets! She gasped in silent shock as I allowed these intimacies. She brushed some more. She petted with greater enthusiasm. I did not run. I purred.

She handed the brushie to Auntie #2. I trotted right over and allowed yet another person to brush me and (sort of) pet me. She was a bit more tentative than Auntie #1, so I was a little nervous also. This continued for many minutes, and then I returned for another session with Auntie #1, after which I decided I had had enough so I retreated under the glass coffee table (visible in yesterday's blog post) and lay peaceably for the remainder of their visit.

Now here is the thing: No one besides the Human (with the exception of the v-e-t, and she had to knock.me.out), NO ONE, has ever touched me or brushed me or spent that much time so very close to me. The Human could hardly believe it. *I* can hardly believe it. It was a Christmas miracle!

Kitties! I Had a Terrible Morning!

No matter what I did, 
I just . . . could not get . . .
com.....for......tablez.....z...z...zzzzzz

Lajoja Suomi*

Kitties! My furiend and Fellow Royal, Punapippuri, King KittyCat of Finland (North), sent yours truly a Most Exciting Red Envelope, which I have just now been assisted in opening (because, as you know, the Human was "away" for a few days and thus Not Home With The Kitty on Christmas to help me open my package--all together now: Hisssssssssssssss).
*Gifts from Finland

Just LOOK at the bounty:

There were three special little wrapped gifts, two wonderful cards and a FUNTASTIC calendar featuring all Punapippuri's veljet ja sisaret!

Two of the wrapped packages were toys for ME and I demanded to play with them at once! There were two large and colorful spider toys:

 

AND there was a flying blue-and-white birdie on a string. I loved it!

But The Human saved the best for last: I received a little packet 

(complete with a warning--and why ever would I need a warning you might ask? 

Well, perhaps you remember this).

This packet contained The Lady Aila's personal furs. Ahhhhhhhhhh:

They were intoxicating, my furiends!

♥ Kiitos, Punapippuri ja perhe ♥

I'm very content after my playtime,

feeling sleepy and ready to dream

about my Finnish Femme Fatale XOXOXO

We're (Almost) Baaaaack!

We've been away (well, strictly speaking, the Human has been away, while I have languished here on my own) for a few days, and will be back tomorrow with an official post. We thank all of you for your warm Christmas wishes and your birfday greetings. 

I ordered the Human to scan the very best (in my estimation) birfday card she received. I think you'll enjoy it too, Kitties, though perhaps your Humans won't find it so amusing!

Peace on Earth, Good Will to All

Merry Christmas, Kitties, and Doggies, and Goaties, and People,

and all the other creatures, too! Thank you for making our lives

a whole lot more fun and interesting in 2013! We'll be gone for 

a few days for Christmas Eve and Christmas festivities--and even

the Human's birthday on Tuesday (yes, she's bitter about having the

24th as her birthday, and no, there aren't enough candles in all of 

San Francisco to add up to her age!) We hope you all have a lovely holiday!

God bless us, every one.

The Name's Simmons.

Gene Simmons.

A Wise Cat

                          knows when it's best to stay out of a Human's way. After a slothful morning, 
                          she suddenly seemed to realize that the house was not going to clean itself 
                          nor was the dirty laundry going to rustle up quarters and stroll 
                          across the street to the laundromat. 
                          In times such as these, the Wise Kitty knows a good long nap on his Kitty Tower
                          is the best way to stay out of trouble, and that's exactly what I did today.

P.S. Anyone able to help this kitty find a home?

Shadowy Saturday

Hello Kitties, For the Human, final exams have finally concluded and the race is on to get a little Christmas cheer going on in this dismal abode. She would rather not think about the shopping that remains to be done before she takes off and abandons me for three or four years [Two days. --Ed.]. I do hope at least some of that shopping is for me.
Meanwhile, it's Caturday so I'm having a good Baff. Who knows when Santa might come?

Sun & Scissors, Scissors & Sun

Here is a gratuitous beefcake sun-worshipping shot from last Sunday . . .

and here are those pesky scissors no one could spot yesterday, MOL! 

Shoot, we didn't think anykitty would really look!

P.S. to Sparkle: Not as old as you might think, ha ha meow!

The Hidden Picture Game

                      Can you find a piece of tupperware? a pair of scissors? a roll of wrapping paper? 
                      a telephone? cocktail glasses? the kitty?  Ha ha ha! Just kidding! I'm right 
                      here on this chair, wondering if I should have my grass now as an appetizer, or                                   later, for dessert?

Shhh, Stop Talking Now

I'm a-sleeping

♫ It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

No, Sillies, not here. My Human is still working on "finals" and says there won't be anything festive around here till the weekend. Sigh. 
No, my post today is over at SECRET PAWS 2013! I made her let me open my present early as part of her continuing penance, ha ha meow! Check it out here!

This Is (Almost) Winter?

Kitties, it was 66° today with bright sun and clear skies. We have bright sun and clear skies every freaking day. It's just . . . unnatural. And it's how winter was last year, too.
In an average year, we would have had 20.78" of rain by now; this year, we have had 4.3".  The Humans are pretty freaked out. My Human remembers the drought years of the mid-to-late 1970s when water was rationed where she lived in Marin County and it wasn't pretty.
So, do any of you know a Rain Dance? Could you do it, please? And send any results out here? 

Thanks, Kitties.

Me and My Mousey

So the Human was feeling pretty guilty about that awful Mean Mr. Mustard post on Thursday, and you know how we can turn guilt to our advantage, Kitties. 
So anyway, the other day a nice package came from Feline'o'Mine which the Human whisked away and stashed somewhere out of sight (though not, of course, out of snootstril range). Anyway, evidently her repentance was the reason I got Mr. Mousey today instead of having to wait till Christmas.
Score!
Now, you may think I am too easily distracted into baffing myself, but it's all part of the Mousey Play Ballet. Besides, I was afraid you Kitties might believe I really was a "Dirty Old Cat."

I Am Not a Mean Boy OR a Dirty Old Cat!

I protest most vigorously yesterday's mischaracterization of my adorable ManCatly self by the Stoopy Human just because she had a dumb Beatles tune running through her otherwise-empty head.

I would like to offer my thanks to julier, the Kitties Blue, One Spoiled Cat, CK, Katie and Hailey and Zaphod who defended my Royal Honor. 

Hrrrmph. Dirty old cat, indeed! As if!

Mean Mister Mustard . . .

♫ . . . . . sleeps on the rug

Drools in the sun trying to roll somewhere

Sleeps like a lump on his chair

Wishing some GirlCat was there ♫ ♫

Such a dirty old cat

♫ Such a dirty old cat . . .♫

(For those of a decidedly post-1970s vintage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkn2l9UQP4o)

What Would You Think if I Sang Out of TuneWould You Stand Up and Walk Out on Me?

My good buddy Nerissa invented this fantastic awardie, and I am more than pleased to say that Yours Truly was among the first to receive it! 
Thanks, Pal--you're the BEST!

One of the really great parts of this award is it's so easy-peasy! No having to spill seven dark secrets, or tell what you really think of your Humans!




So after following the kitty who awarded it to you (or at least checking in with him or her once in awhile, MOL!), the only remaining requirement is to pass it along to a few furiends (and make sure you let them know!) I will choose five:

CK @ Stunning Keisha
Derby and Ducky @ Derby and Ducky
Iza (okay, and Ayla and Marley, too) @ Mark's Mews
Katie Isabella @ Katie Isabella
Ms. Stella @ On a More Personal Note

I know some of you kitties may already have received this, 
so now you have two ;-)

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Da Da Dada, Da Da Dada . . .

                                 BatCat!

Oh, Hi

Nice of you to join me here on the floor where I like to spend most of my time. I guess it's not quite so comfortable for you, eh? Well, I'll just close my eyes now and drift off.  Maybe when I open them again you'll have taken that flashy box and moved on.

Belly Up!

The Human says this, this, 

is an open invitation. I disagree.

But I can see where it might be

tempting.

That Human Thinks She's So Smart

but the Kitty is smarter still. 

It was such a wonderfully cozy night, 

my friends!

The Altar of Heat

I am blissfully relaxed in front of what, in a more perfect world, 

would be a crackling fireplace in a much cleaner apartment,* 

but, frankly, beggars can't be choosers and the radiator puts out awesome heat.

* Not to mention the bad picture quality: Strike One, Strike Two.

C'mon, Admit It

If I let you, you'd totally snorgle this belly.

A Versatile Kind of Guy

My dear friends at The Cat on My Head gave me this fantastic award 

on Thanksgiving Day! I am most grateful to 

Astrid, Lily Olivia, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Lisbeth, Calista Jo--

and, Oh yeah, to that ManCat Brother of theirs, Mauricio.

Now the dealio is, I am supposed to reveal Se7en previously-unknown fascinating things about myself. And that might be kind of a problem, Kitties;

since I have so few secrets anymore, I might have to, well,

fudge a bit on the "previously unknown" rule.

1. I have a less-than-ManCatly meow.

2. I'm a terrible Cat Scout. The worst.

3. I'm scared of towels. Long story.

4. I worship the radiator.

5. Often, I trot up to the Human, put my front paws gently on her knees, 

look soulfully into her eyes, and dash away as soon as she reaches to pet me.

I love that game! I can almost make her cry!

6. I get the crazies every night around 11:00 and race like my a$$ is on fire.

On a really good night, I startle the Human from a sound sleep 

by playing really hard with my toys right under the bed as loud and bumpily as I can. 

I get a lot of good laughs from that.

7.  Way deep down, and I mean waaaaaaaaay deep, 

I think I sort of love the Human.

****************************************************

So many Kitties have this award we will pass it on to just two:

The Kitties and Goaties at the Maaaa of Pricilla

and

Emma and Buster

If there are any other Kitties who have not received this award,

please take it and tell us your 7 things!

"Spitty, Get off the Table!"

Kitties, did you hear 

that annoying buzzing sound just now?

Mama's Little Lovey Boy

Aren't I just?

And--please note--I am wide awake.

Nommy!

So refreshing after all that heavy holiday food. 

The Humans should give it a try!

NB: Now really! Listen up Kitties and your, um, fine and intelligent (cough, cough) Humans: I do not nap all the time! I do not nap all the time! I do not nap all the time! I am fierce and fiery lots of times! Yes, I am, I really, truly am! It is my lazy, stoopy Human's lack of photographic skills that brings you 25 napping photos to 1 fierce chewing photo! It is Not My Fault. I do not sleep my life away! Well, no more than any other kitty, anyway. Sheesh. What am I going to do with you people????

Caturday CatNap