And Just What Is Going On Here?

(a)  I am tuning up for my concert with with a purrfect rendition of Che Gelida Manina from La Bohème

(b)  I am wailing in grief over Santiago Casilla's disastrous 9th inning against the Braves today

(c)  I am yawning in luxurious comfort as I warm my backside in front of the Radiator Goddess

(d)  I am crying because the Human is scolding me for swiping her just a little when she petted me wrong. (Yes, yes, she bleeded the tiniest bit. So?)

Sunday Selfie: Well! I Never! Sooooo Norty!

Meow, meow, black Cat
Have you any furs?
Yes, sir; yes, sir
And I'm full of purrs.

One for my Human,
And one for my buds,
And the rest for the LadyCats who like us good studs. 

Pausing for BlogPaws

You mean OTHER kitties' Humans took them to the Big Event? And I, I, Spitty the Kitty,  am stuck here at home with my germy, miserable excuse for a Human who did not even offer to take me (not that she even went herself, but that's beside the point).
Well, phffft to her, say I.
So be it then. I am on strike until I can get some decent service around here. Or until the end of the weekend. Whichever comes first.

Memorial Day

Father to my dear cousin Marie Ann, 

Brother to my mother and her siblings, 

Uncle to all the cousins,

and Godfather to my Human.

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho . . .

Eh.

Same old, same old.

A boy just has to make 
his own fun around here.
At least Stampo wanted 
to play with me.

Useless Human: Day 4.

We'll Be Back

The Human has the sick--a bad cold? the flu? I mean, really, who knows?

She's useless.

I'm guessing it's going to be a few days till she can stay upright long enough to help me post. Good  thing it's a long weekend.

Hooo-eeeeeey! I'm a Winner!

Nellie's "Finish the Sentence" contest this week began:

No matter what my human says, I have NEVER . . .

And I responded: 

. . . drawn so much bloods she needed a transfusion!

And do you know what??? I winned! 'Cause mine was the best answer! Oh, wait--what? 

Oh, the winners are just randomly selected? Mine might not have been the best after all?

Well, I don't care! I still winned! Thanks for this very cool badge, my darling Nellie-Bellie!

Why, Yes . . .

I am in the Human's lap, sitting stoically through brushies and pettings, enduring the torments of the damned. Can you not see the suffering writ large across my furry brow?

Spitty Disapproves

of your last-faculty-meeting-of-the-year shenanigans and is going to call your parents.








N.B. This attractive youngish woman is NOT my Human but a brave colleague grabbing for the vodka.

Sunday Afternoon Baff

This little film is notable for its cinéma vérité-style shaky, handheld, blurry close ups. Oh wait--no, it's just the Human's incompetent camera work. But I do look pretty cute in some parts. And at only :38, there's no intermission to worry about.

Sunday Selfie*

* Okay, yes: This is a lie. Is is a Hu-fie. As you can see, my perfect paws are cunningly concealed beneath my ManCatly chest and nowhere near the flashy box button. But *I* say it counts, and I am King, so really, who's going to arrest me for it?

Some Days You Keep the Ball Rolling

             and some days it just sits there and taunts you.


N.B. Not to worry--the real answer to yesterday's multiple choice test item was (A)--I'd been such a piggy during the night! I was so hungry the previous evening I begged the Human for another can before she went to bed and I ate it all overnight, so by the time breakfast appeared, I really wasn't all that interested. Ironically, as soon as she took that picture, I strolled over and consumed most of it even though it was many hours old by then.

Why Didn't I Eat My Breakfast?

A)  I made a little piggy of myself during the night last night.
B)  Although this tuna flavor was my favorite last week, I have now determined it is inedible.
C)  I am tired of the green tray.
D)  You didn't stick around to keep me company while I ate.
E) He's still up there. Watching.

Psssst! Spitty! Wake up!

"Stampo! Where you been, Pal?"

"I've been carefully observing your every move and filing reports, Spitty."

"You know what? I don't like the sound of that. Just who's been reading these reports?"

"En tiedä. Luulen, että hän asuu Suomessa. Oops!"

Bored Stiff?

Not a bit of it, I assure you (not that the Human is not capable of boring anyone--feline, Human, other--to death with her blather)! I am simply worshiping at the Altar of  Warms (aka The Radiator, at right) and have fallen into a blissful trance.

Do you like my scratcher throne/box/beddy? The Human had to Photoshop out all the delightful little cardboard bits that surround my perch.

He's Right Above Me, Isn't He?

You would not even believe how much I still love my pink fevver.

I am taking a little rest here to give Mr. Fevver a break in the action. He gets kind of worn out, Kitties. He just doesn't have my stamina.

The PurrFurMance Review:I Cannot Tell a Lie

Review of:            The Human

Date:                        May 10, 2015 (by coincidence, Mother's Day)

Reviewed by:     King Spitty I, Lord of All He Surveys

Quantity of Output:  Has your purrson posted to your blog daily to give you maximum exposure worldwide and make you famous?

Since her last review in February of 2011, we have posted 1177 times. However, in all but one year (2012) we missed several days. There's really no good reason that she should not help me post every day.  TWO PAWS

Quality of Output:  Are you, as snoopervisor, satisfied with your purrson’s choice of photos, words, creativity, imagination, truth, fun and general interest in your postings?

Well, I am of two minds here. Overall, she does a decent job of conveying my catitude toward her and the world in general, and she focuses mostly on issues of great concern to me (food, brushies, naps, beddies, toys, and so on). Still, I have noticed a disturbing trend this year: It seems that she randomly and without warning usurps my blog--MINE, Kitties--with silly postings of her own that are of no conceivable interest to me. This needs to stop. TWO PAWS

Client Pawticipation:  Does your purrson provide sufficient ways for your fans to contact you and for you to contact them?

Yes, I'll give her a good mark here. FOUR PAWS

Pawticipation (Part II):  Does your purrson allow you to take part in fun blog-world special events, pawties, contests, and more?

No! She is terrible at this! Worse than terrible! Is there a mark for WORSE than terrible?

CLAW SWIPE + ZERO

Client Satisfaction:  Are your friends purringly contented with what they see and read on your blog?

This is a bit hard to judge, but my loyal readers are kind and hilarious in their comments so I will grant a good score even though it is not on the rubric. THREE PAWS

Overall rating and comments and suggestions for improvement (in your own words):

The Human has earned 11 PAWS in a total of five categories, but I am going to subtract one for her abject failure in Pawticipation (Part II). 

So 10 PAWS divided by 5 categories equals an average of TWO PAWS by any kind of calculation: Old Maff, New Maff, Integrated Maff, Common Core Maff, PolyMaff, or AfterMaff.

                                                                (  )  High                                   Four paws

                                                             ( X )  Medium  Two paws

                                                                (  )  Low                                   One paw

                                                                (  )  Worse than low           Claw swipe

                                                                (  )  Pawful                              0 (zero)

Happy Mother's Day

                                        The Human's beautiful mom Ginny (center) 

                                        at Santa Cruz beach in 1956, with friend Lee (left),                 

                                        sister-in-law Rita (right), and unidentified foot                       

                                        (lower left).  She was a fantastic mom, and 

                                        the Human misses her even after 32 years.

Formerly Feral Friday

So do I wish I'd never been snatched from the wild? 
Well  . . .

Naaaaah. But don't tell the Human, okay? 

So I Barfed on the Rug This Morning

It was spectacular!
and
spittacular, too!
(And a shout-out to Sammy for the suggestion!)

Godspeed, My Friend Nerissa

Not-Quite-Wordless Wednesday:Every Picture Tells a Story

When the Human left the house at 6:30 this morning, she came upon these objects placed just so on the sidewalk along the front of our building, where items are placed by their owners who wish to send them out into the universe to live a new life. Although she was already running late, she felt this particular tableau was worth the trouble it took to go back inside to retrieve the camera.

Does This Angle

make my a$$ look big?

Can you believe my beddy is right in front of the PTU? How insensitive can the Human be, for Cod's sake?

2015 Purrfurmance Review

Kitties!  My Good Buddy Austin and I realized it has been more than four long years since our Humans have received what should be their annual PurrFurMance Review. Appalling!
The form above is an adaptation of one I filled out in 2011--its origins are definitely in the Blogosphere, but the identity of the actual creator has been lost in the mists of time. Nuffing would make me happier than to credit the Fine Kitty who originated this rating instrument. If it was you, or if you know who the author was, please email me or leave the info in the comments.*
We are declaring MAY, 2015, the Month of Marking! Please feel free to take, adapt and use this in any way you see fit, or email me and I can send you a Word doc version.

N.B.  Eureka! The Purrfurmance Review© above was created by the Kitties at Zoolatry many moons ago. We are very pleased to have located the source and thank our furiends with good memories for pointing us to the author!

Fine Dining

I always have my salad before the main course. It's only correct, don't you think? Also, sometimes greens help me yack up furballs, and they're way more spectacular with a full tum.

Well, Alrighty Then!

Yup, she's home from work and my peaceful existence is shot for the rest of the evening. 
But it's Friday at last, and the Game Is Afoot, isn't it Austin?