As some of you noted, yesterday we received The Comment of the Year from our Loyal Reader Megan in Sydney, Australia. Both Spitty and I enjoyed her lengthy missive, though perhaps for different reasons . . .
Some Helpful Tips to be Going Along With
(from an Avid Fan):
- You need to focus attention on your headlines, Spitty. "The Human and I Disagree" is hardly commentworthy, let alone a headline - it's the standard state of affairs, I would have thought, in your household. Headlines are meant to grab attention. More effort required please.
Spitty: Thank you! No kidding, right??? I had a much better headline in mind but the Human said, "Oh no, Spitty! You can't use those kind of HBO words on your family-friendly blog." *I* say, And just whose family is THAT?
The Human: When Spitty can write a clever headline and still keep a civil tongue in his head, then perhaps I'll let him write some better headlines. I will go so far as to agree that this one was . . . uninspired. So, how do you like *today's* headline?
- Now, you know that I'm on your side, 10000%, don't you? So, you've also got to know that when I provide constructive criticism, it is well intentioned - designed to help you continue to improve yourself and your reputation and your blog. So - are you ready? Here's the thing: in complaining about having these particular photographs published, you are, I'm afraid to say, being hypocritical. It wasn't all that many weeks ago that you complained about the fact that the Human had the temerity to post without including a pic of you. And I agreed. So, it's hardly fair or proper that you're now complaining that the Human has included pics of you in today's post.
Spitty: Are you calling me hypocritical? ::incredulous:: So, like, I guess that your "10000%" is really only 9995%? Is that what you mean when you say 10000? 'Cause, now, how can I really trust you again???
The Human: Exactly, Megan. Exactly. Thank you.
- You couldn't behave in an undignified way if your life depended on it. You are a King. It follows, by definition, that everything you do is regal - and dignified. You are worrying about the wrong stuff: today's pics are delightful.
Spitty: Why, thank you, Megan! I had not quite considered it from quite this angle! Perhaps it's like when Richard Nixon was being interviewed by David Frost and Frost asked him, "Would you say that there are certain situations - and the Huston Plan was one of them - where the president can decide that it's in the best interests of the nation, and do something illegal?" And Nixon answered, "Well, when the president does it, that means it is not illegal." So, no matter WHAT the heck I do, it's all good. In fact, it's Royal. And thereby both dignified and delightful. Thanks, Megan!
The Human: Nice role model, Spitty.
- People do need things to cheer them up. And kitties are the things designed for exactly that purpose. Indeed, that's why the internet was invented: so that kitties would have much wider scope for getting themselves 'out there', cheering humans up no matter when in the world they were. Carry on the good work
Spitty: Will do. It's my mission.
The Human: Oh, please.
- Where did this entirely arbitrary goal of 300 posts per year come from? There are 365 days in the year and, to be honest, I think you've set the bar very very low if you're aiming for only 300 posts. 365 per year would be reasonable, and 400 a good 'stretch' target for 2017 - surely there's so much you want to share with your readers that trying to squeeze it all into 400 posts per year would be a struggle. Let it out, Spitty.
Spitty: Again, thank you! I look at 365 as the minimum acceptable number of times per year to vent my spleen instruct my People regarding the proper relationship between Royal Felines and Human peons. Really, without my daily reminders, some of those felines might do their Human's bidding, and frankly that's just appalling and dangerous.
The Human: When you are paying the rent, Spitty, and when you grow the thumbs, then (maybe) your opinion will count.
See ya tomorrow ('cos it's not too late to make a last-minute pitch to achieve 400 posts in 2016, you know).
Spitty: ::eyes light up::
The Human: ::dissolves in gales of hysterical laughter::
Megan
Sydney, Australia
