Spoilsport

"We got a new chaaaaaaair, Spitty, a new chaaaaaaair. 

It's so nice and collllllllorful, too, but you have some fleas again and we just started 

the Advantage, so I'm going to put this nice white dishtowel 

on the new chaaaaaaair so we can see if there are any fleas, 

since it's a new chaaaaaaair and all.

Oh, and nooooooo, you can't dig your claws into the back of it

or I will be really annoyed and I will pile a bunch of junk

on the new chaaaaaaair so that you won't be able

to sit on it at all, and you won't like thaaaaaaat, will you?"

I Could Totally Take Them, You Know

Yeah, I'm little. But how do you think their pretty plastic skin

would do vs. a claw or eighteen?

Napping and Sulking, and Sulking and Napping

So the Human's off to card-land for a marathon bridge game, 

with nary a thought for my happiness or well-being. 

Yes, yes, of course some one will give me food, 

but Where is the love? I'll see you Sunday.

Narcissus & Spitty

The point of this exhibit was the gentle ringing of the fine porcelain bowls echoing over the water. Ha! I am gazing into the tiny whirlpool to see my glorious reflection. Who needs dishes?

Someday, I Want to Kill a Real Bird and Eat It All Up

 I ask you, Is that so wrong? 

Sometimes I Sits & Ponders Stuff & Other Times I Just Sits

So which is it today? 

Well, believe me, I have plenty of ponderable material over here, but it is just as likely I am in a Zen-like trance.

I think I look floofy and confident, Kingly in fact, in this picture. What's going on inside my little quite sizable brain is my business. For now. 

Late-Breaking Sunday Selfie: Playtime Is Preytime!

Thirty seconds of tedium followed by 10 seconds 

of mayhem! We tried all day (really) to shave some

time off the beginning, but YouTube wasn't having

any of that.

You Talkin' to Me?

The Human's Visit to the Kit Tea Cafe: Oh, the Betrayal!

This nice lady in the beige fell in love with a sweet orange kitty,

who loved her right back. It seems other ornj kitties felt the same.

This is Uncle Ron who is a bit of a Feline Dandy. He likes clothes, 

he likes looking out the window, and worst of all, 

he likes my Human.

Oh, but Kitties, it was seeing the photographic evidence 

of this handsome boy that brought me low. 

Just LOOK at him, Kitties! Can you spell "Doppelganger"?

A Study of the Functionality of the White Chair

To what better purpose can this chair be put, I ask you?

So she thinks I have "damaged" her nice chair. I say 
since it can still be used for all the normal purposes 
of a chair, it is not "damaged" at all.  Q.E.D.

Shhhhh: The Humans Are Making Art

So the Human and a friend went to the Museum of Modern Art this afternoon. It was partly wonderful and partly, well, maybe "around the bend" is a good phrase.

In one gallery a sort of street scene had been arranged (see below), complete with body-on-the-sidewalk. A well-meaning museum patron apparently didn't get the message though, and inquired repeatedly whether he was all right. He moved not a muscle, but the gallery attendant approached her, and in a portentous whisper explained, "Don't speak to him. He's performing."

Oh. Well, then, pass the popcorn. 

Ghost Kitty Disdains Your Overtures

So I am glad you enjoyed your nice day trip down the coast

yesterday, a beautiful warm afternoon, the ocean glinting 

in the sunlight, live music on the restaurant patio, a leisurely

drive home--sheer bliss. Glad you enjoyed yourselves.

But nuffing brought home for the Kitty? Un-for-giv-a-ble.

Sunday Selfie: Sun Salutation

Oh, hi there Human. Nice of you to drop by and chat. I see you have
the grabby hands today, but it's nice and warm here & I don't need you.

So I'm afraid I am going to have to decline your offer of affections.
It's a big ole NOPE today. Go find your own window.

Shameless!

The Human has an old bamboo backscratcher. I have developed an affection some might call unnatural for this instrument of pleasure. I will roll on my back and beg (yes kitties: Beg) for my tummy to be scratched while my eyes flutter back in my head and my back legs flop every which way.

Good thing I'm so furry.

What's Mine Is MineWhat's Yours Is Mine

So in the background, you can hear the kind of claptrap she listens to. Really educational and uplifting and downright edifying, isn't it?  Winter is coming.

Slothful Summer Days

Of course, all my days are slothful. As is my right as a feline overlord. The Human has been more attentive than usual, and I have become accustomed to play, food and pets on-demand. She makes noises about "don't get too used to it" and "you know I'll have to go back to work in a few weeks" but I choose to ignore all that.

*     *     *     *     *

In other news, she hasn't had one of these since July 12, 2009. Woo-hoo!

Until We Meet Again

Five years ago, a (dare we say testy?) Finnish King admonished me for my paw placement on World Domination Day; apparently, I had trodden a wee bit close to his borders. Mirsku Missiles were readied, so I thought it best to withdraw my toes from Punapippuri's fine realm in Finland(N).

From that unpromising start, a great and lasting friendship grew through near-daily Royal Missives and immense affection and respect. King P was my very bestest friend in all the world.

I was a lucky ManCat to have known and loved him, but I miss him. I think I will always miss him. He was a once-in-a-kitty-lifetime friend, and I hope one fine day we'll meet up again among the stars. 

Sunday Selfie: This Is My Life Now

Once, I was a proud and aloof feline Master of the Human. I doled out affection like a slowly-dripping faucet. Now? Well, now the blandishments of the warm keyboard, the gently petting hand, the nice mat, the sweet nuffings whispered in my shell-pink ear, the little fingerfuls of Gerbers. . . well, you can see for yourselves what I've become.
Look upon me and weep, Kittens. Don't let this happen to you.

Recovering Clawstrophobic

For lo, manymanymany years, I, HRH Spitty the Kitty, eschewed the comforts of The Box 

   and The Tunnel for the world of The Wide Open Spaces. I was pretty sure that Bad Things    

   lurked inside. Apparently, I was wrong. It only took me 13 years to figure it out, though!

Talk to the Paw, Human

Well, what can I say? It's been a week! Yes, she was away for a few days, but that does not explain the lack of follow-up once she returned. 

The level of service continues to decline. "Outraged" does not begin to describe my dissatisfaction. 

Once again, she vows to do better, but she has sung that tune before. We'll see how it goes. Otherwise, I may be taking applications.