Wednesday, June 20, 2018

So, Who's the New Guy?

I see him here behind me, but excuuuse me if I don't know what he is. A yellow introoder of some sort. At least he's not asking me stupid questions.

Honestly, Kitties, you would not believe the stuff that has found its way into my castle as the Human "cleans out" 37 years' worth of crap valuable possessions. 

Like this one.

Monday, June 18, 2018

The King is Gracious

I don't always allow these kinds of intimacies, 
but she *did* approach me ever so respectfully.

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Sunday Selfies: She's Retired, So how Come
I Haven't Posted Since June 13?

Yeah, don't hold your breath for an answer 
to that. She *has* been more fun,
but believe me, she has miles to go
before she makes up for years of neglect.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Sigh. Again?

I guess I have to move where NoHuman will ever find me!













Monday, June 11, 2018

Retirement Benefit #3:
Random Breaking Bad
Episodes in the Middle
of the Day

To be honest, it's not *my* favorite show, but I didn't mind too much since there was (reluctant) laptime coupled with abundant brushies (the reason the laptime was tolerated). Next time I want to watch Ren & Stimpy or My Cat from Hell.
Who cares about some stoopy chemistry teacher? Though I do kind of like Gus. I mean, I even have a little Gus with a bucket of chick-hen, too.







See?

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Sunday Selfie: Oreo Dipped in Milk

Well, Black Boycat dipped in sunlight anyway.

I have been reaping the benefits of a Human that is now only semi-employed. This seems to mean that she goes in when she wants, stays for 2-4 hours, and departs without so much as a by-your-leave.

If she coulda had this gig all along, she might not be retiring

I let her go to the movies today. I'm reasonable

Friday, June 8, 2018

Parole



























This calendar page previously resided in her planner, and then on the bulletin board behind her desk. For some reason it is now on our fridge door, where she ponders it as she gets *her* foods; I myself do not eat food once it has been stored in the refrigerator. Leftovers? I don't think so!
We call it parole rather than freedom as she is still working a few hours a day through mid-July. Very few. And maybe not really working, exactly.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

It Is Too My Real Whisker

So, I am real comfertabuls and relaxed, and I didn't 
even mind her sneaking up on me again --well, she 
couldn't exactly sneak this time. I think both my whiskers
look purrfectly natural, do they not?  Also, please do not 
mistake my barely-interested glance for an adoring gaze.

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Why Is She Creeping Up on Me in the Dark?



























I was sleeping like an angel, Kitties, like an angel. When along she came in the dark.
Snap!
Should I be worried? I think I'm worried.

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Let the Games Begin




























So the Human says Happy Days Are Here Again . . . or almost anyway. The graduayshuns was last night and now her work schedule for the next six weeks or so calls for appearing at, say, 10:30 a.m. and leaving around 1:30 or 2:00 to come home and have a nice nap. Works for me! Already I had toytime today, and I rewarded her with a little laptime. The Good Life is on the horizon. Woo-hoo!

Monday, May 28, 2018

In the Heat of the Day

Okay, okay, I guess "mid-70's" might not qualify as heat in most parts of the Golden State, but honestly, at Chez Spittola a furball was upchucked and lying spreadeagled was the order of the day. On the plus side, I have handsome legs, don't you think? Oh, and a new and shapely white whisker has grown in to replace the lost one.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Little Hiatus

Everything is fine (well, *she* thinks so), but I am being forced against my furry will to take a little hiatus for a week or so while the Human disports herself at various end-of-year events. Phfffft.

I mean, you know what that means, right? No fun times for the kitty. No toy time, no snuggly times, no companionable napping times. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

She says we'll be back next weekend. Is there a black market in thumbs, do you think? 



Tuesday, May 15, 2018

                            Spittola of Sunnybrat Farm

Oh, I look harmless enough, all drowsy here in this sunpuddle, counting the days. But like Max the Psychokitty, one of my main inspirations for proper ManCatly behavior
I loves me the Bitey.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

                         (Not Exactly a) Sunday Selfie

So here I am, but only to say the Human wants to have her OWN post today, taking over mine like it was nuffing! Like it's just the way the world works or something. She did not even really seek out my permission or anything. I'm offended, Kitties, but what can a ManCat do when a Human decides to overstep her bounds?
*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *
On Friday, my fabulous AP English Lit girls threw their Old Bat teacher a retirement bash for the ages. There were flowers and balloons and Spitty mugs galore, not to mention a breakfast buffet, with many chip-and-cookie courses, OJ in champagne flutes, and fantastic homemade banana bread. It was almost enough (note: almost) to make me reconsider my decision, but . . . no.

Here are the charming hostesses themselves (wearing gear from the colleges they've committed to):
For 44 years, the students were always the best part of every workday.

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Ungroomed and Déshabillé




I debated long and hard over whether to allow the Human to publish these fetching but imperfect photos. My tailio is not shown off to its full washed and brushed glory, and there's kind of a lot of distracting messy stuff on the bed.










On the other hand, both she and I have come to enjoy my superb stretching form. So really, it was not much of a contest. Any picture of me awake and looking charming deserves to see the light of day, amirite?






*********************************************************
Oh, and just so's youse don't lose track:

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

                      Smile: You're on Candid Camera!

Okay, so this photo is not going to qualify for Cat Fancy magazine (or any magazine, anywhere, ever), but we are willing to expose our (excuse me, Human? "Our"?) very poor housekeeping habits, especially at this time of year when the Human barely does the dishes or the laundry.

Aaaaaaaaaanyway, the point is, despite its many failings in the area of fine (or even--let's be honest--competent) photography, it does portray my total commitment to the warms that pour forth like melting honey from the Radiator Goddess.

Behold! I am the Warms. Recline before me and be Toasty.

Sunday, May 6, 2018

            Sunday Selfies: Spitty and the Hoppers

Well, after a week-long clash of wills, an unconscionably long delay, amirite?, the Human caved at last and this very morning I was given my first Kanga-treat. At first I sniffed, and sniffed again, and then I consumed,
and consumed, and consumed. I had about 8, Kitties, and I would happily have eaten more.
But the stoopy Human was afraid I might start leaping tall buildings in a single bound.


Thanks again and again, Miss Megan
The little hoppers make for tasty nomming!

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

           Plunder from Down Under

OMC, Kitties, OMC! Just look what came in the mail for me today!
Well, it's **addressed** to me, anyway. It has my freaking NAME on it! 
I mean, you can READ it for yourself right there, can you not?
*****
N.B. The fine print
(There's kangaroos in there, Kitties.
But [ut-oh] I don't think they're jumpin' around anymore.)
*****
You might be asking yourselves, "Spitty, my good mancat! What could be more wonderful?"
And you'd be half-right. It *is* wonderful.
But the Human says I can't has them till the weekend 'cause she wants to get 
some good pictures in good daylight and yadayadayadablahblahblah 
who-knows-what-nonsense-is-coming-out-of-her-piehole-anyway?

Till then, she says, we have the "Joy of Anticipation."
Uh-huh.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Sunday Selfie: Miss Megan's Guest Post

Today I offer my deepest gratitude to Miss Megan, my friend from the Land of Oz, who sent me this instructive cartoon to share with you. Really, however, its most impawtant audience is the Human, who should study it carefully in preparation for the new era to come--you know, her transition from one full-time job to another: Attendant to His Majesty.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

                                Countdown!
                   An Occasional Feature of Spitty Speaks


25 on the 25th
So, it seems that there are just 25 school days 
remaining until the Last Graduation on June 1.
Whoopee! She better be planning scads of fun games for us to play,
and reading recipes for treats with lots of butter in them.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Surprise!


In the Spirit of reddit:  
TIL*


I can hear things the Human cannot.

Most kitties have more whiskers than I do. 
So not fair.

I has ear furnishings.






*Today I Learned

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Sunday Selfie: Mystery Kitty Judges You


























Now you see him                                                      Now you don't

Thursday, April 19, 2018

         Frowback Fursday: The Human Turns Four

This is the Human's fourth birfday party on Dec. 12, 1953--technically she was still three as the real day is the 24th. I think she looks more like six!
That's her in the right foreground, and the other girl in the front is Pam, her BFF in 1953 and still her bestie 65 years later.

The little boy to the left is Mikey, about a year or year-and-a-half younger than the Human. The Human and Pam, mean little girls that they were, tormented poor little Mikey
mercilessly. Can't you just feel the terror in his eyes?

Quite the exciting little party eh? And everyone looks so clean, too. Remember when this is what birthday parties looked like? No Chuck E Cheese's or amusement park outings or bouncy-house rentals or gatherings of a cast of 100s. 

Nope, just 7 well-behaved little tykes hoping for some punch and a slice of the good stuff. A round of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and that was that. The guests departed and Mama kicked her shoes off and sipped a cocktail. Ah, the good old days!

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Yes, Of Course I See the Hammick with the Nice Red Rustly-Quilt on It

















but truthfully, you can't imagine how warm and toasty my ears get when I rest my head on the radiator ledge-thingy. So really, I just had to shove that hammick outta the way and fire up the indoor BBQ.

It's cold, Human. 

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Sunday Selfie: Treats Are Awesome

I am a, shall we say mature, ManCat. And honestly, I thought last January 15 was probably going to be my final breakthrough, but apparently there are still barriers for this hardened former feral to conquer.

A couple of days ago, the Human was putting a bag of Temptations in her schoolbag to take to other Humans with treat-loving kitties at her work. Then she decided that she would give me one last try (after like 13.75 years of trying). She put a couple down on the floor and voila! They were enthusiastically consumed.

Finally, I understand what all you other kitties have been praising all these years! Treats are mouth-watering!


Friday, April 13, 2018

                             A Kitty Who Came Before

And when I say before, I mean Before. Like, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay before. 
She got Fluffy, the lovely black-and-white girl you see above, 
when she was about four years old. By way of telling you how long ago 
that was, I will say that Eisenhower was still in his first term. Fluffy was mostly 
an outside kitty, though in her later years, the Human's mother
relented and Fluffy spent more time inside. She was a hissy old thing, as likely
to nip at you as purr, but she was very fond of the Human. I think having her
was good preparation for getting me just about 50 years later.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

                              A Disappointing Playtime
                                aka I Do Not Trust Bags

Ahh, and what have we here? Exciting playtimes?
Where'd that sneaky wand toy get to, anyway?
Oh look, I missed a treat over here!