Abandonment issues

The Human is leaving me for thirty squillion three whole days! Can you believe that? Leaving ME?
I will surely starve, or die of thirst, or become desolate from loneliness.

Oh wait, What's that you ask? Well, yes, as a matter of fact, she HAS arranged for the neighbors to feed me and talk to me a couple times a day.

But still.


The Human says she will have no computer so I won't be able to visit my friends till Monday. Hrrrumph.

Cruel and Unusual Humiliation

Here I am this morning, chillaxin' in my tower, not a worry in my handsome head (referred to by the unkind as "freakishly large," but I digress).
And wouldn't you just know it? Yep, here's the Human with her flashy-box, looking for trouble. And of course, she catches me just at that rare moment when I am not ready for my close up.

Grocery Snoopervising

Just investigating whether there's anything interesting
here for me today. Nope. As usual.

Oh, and by the way, don't be fooled by what's on this table.
She put away the Cheetos and the ice cream
before she took the picture.

On the Untrustworthiness of Bags

• They are unstable.
• They smell funny.
• The handles look suspicious.
• They make a lot of scary noise.
• Something could be lurking in there, waiting to steal your soul.
• Some Human could ::shudder:: PICK YOU UP and take you BAST KNOWS WHERE.

Cool Thoughts

It really makes me recoil in horror to read about my kitty friends forced to endure the anguish of triple-digit temperatures. That is Just Not Right. Superior Beings like ourselves, with luxurious and abundant furz, should be exempt from such irrational numbers on the thermometer.

Here I am earlier today, emerging from my cozy little tent after one of my many daytime naps:

Now, here is what the sky should look like everywhere there are kitties:


FYI for anykitty who'd like to drop by:

Updated: 5:20 PM PDT July 25 2010

SAN FRANCISCO

61° F

Partly Cloudy Wind: NW at 19.0 mph Humidity: 78% Visibility: 10.0 miles

Where's Spitty?

Oh my Ceiling Cat! My Human has completely forgotten what her priorities are supposed to be: Me and my blog, followed by every other area of her life. It's just been days and days and days, like maybe 500 days, since I have been able to post or go visit my kitty friends.

Sigh. Why should I be surprised that my Human has disappointed me yet again?

Anyway, you probably found me there, curled up in my little brown bed, sulking. At least she has seen to it that I am well-fed, but who knows? That could be next to go.

Problem + Solution

What is wrong with this picture?
I'll tell you what is wrong: I can see the bottom of my bowl, that's what!



So I sent the Human to the Temple of Fudz.



Problem solved.
Burp.

The True Confession of Spitty-the-Kitty

All right, YES, I admit it! I get scritched, and, Ceiling Cat help me, I enjoy it.

Oh, the shame, the shame. And Scouty? I'm sorry, bro, but I just can't help myself.

Aggie & Wally: The End of the Beginning

The Human apologizes for the off-the-charts
cuteness factor of this picture
and says she is not responsible
for any sudden kitten-acquisition
by anykitty's Human.

So, yes, Aggie & Wally are Best Buds now. They have even perfected
their "Please put down that flashy-box and
step away from the kittens" expression!
The Woman has visitation rights, although no official custody arrangement.

Which **I** think is just fine!

OMCC!

Did somebody actually say there was a contest for best sleeper? Now there's a contest I can really sink my claws into! Because, you know, I really am a champion sleeper.

You'll notice that the Human keeps a blanket over the good chairs so I am not allowed to spread my beautiful furs on the real upholstery. Hmmmph. I find that kind of insulting, to tell you the truth. And as soon as I wake up I think I'll write a letter of complaint. Yeah, that's the ticket. Just as soon as I ......ZZZZzzzzzzzz.........

Friday Fetch ~ Not!

Oh yes, there's my ball, over by the door.
(Who me? No, I certainly did not
chase it and lose it!)
Wasn't the Human considerate to throw it for me?

All right, maybe I'll go along with this.
After all, she is trying to play with me.

Well, okay, yep, it's my rattly ball, all right.

Lesson of the day:
Spitty chases, but Spitty don't fetch.

Thankful Thursday

I was inspired to post this because of all the exciting pictures of the many eating stations of Katnip Lounge kittehs. I really only have the one eating station, but that is okay because I am only one kitteh. I think my tail looks especially beautiful in this picture, don't you? All fluffy and shiny?

I am thankful today because, as irritating as the Human can be, she is always right on time with the noms.

It might be nice to have some new bowls, though. Or maybe a colorful new tray?

Stealth Kitteh

Stictly speaking, I'm not allowed around flowers,
but these are not real
so I can sniff them whenever I please, yes I can.
I keep an eye peeled though, just in case I need. . .

. . .to make a quick exit.

Yes, I am. I am excited!

Can't you tell? I'm wearing my party hat. What more do you want?

The Human is crowing a little--well, okay, a lot--today because last year, on this very date, she smoked her last cigarette.

Actually, I am more excited than I look. My air is fresher, and really, she stopped being such a b*tch about six months ago. At first, I thought maybe she was going to kill me and eat me if I meowed too loudly or looked at her wrong. But she's better now (mostly).

Still those Winstons smell really good. She swears she won't have one though.

Cry havoc and let slip the kittens of mayhem

Well, after their naps maybe.

Why, yes,

now that you ask, I do have some thoughts to share.

You've been "helping" me blog for nearly three months now. For the most part, it's gone rather well.

I enjoy having this outlet to share my innermost self with feline friends all over the world. I enjoy hearing from other kittehs who must also work out the delicate balance of power in their relationship with their Human(s). I take some satisfaction in having my gloriously handsome furry self displayed for all to see. I love to gaze upon the fetching forms of certain ladycats (you know who you are!)

However, I have two complaints. First, a truly competent blog assistant would make herself available 24/7, so that as soon as inspiration arrived I could share it with all my new friends. Let's face it: You're Lazy.

Secondly, I'm a little embarrassed at the sadly simple and plain appearance of my blog, compared to the exotic and complex designs of most others. D'ya think you could buy a book or something and study up on web design? Would that really be asking so very much? Oh, I forgot: You're Real Lazy.

Lunchtime Views

View, Human

View, Kitteh

Is.Not.Fair.

The Young & the Restless: Kitten Edition, Episode 2

Scene One: A little enforced togetherness results in a bit of half-hearted combat (note carefully little Wally's gently curved paw and Hellion Aggie's unmistakable claw-extension).
However, they are playing together super-well: Greatly reduced growling & hissing, greatly increased wrasslin' with only occasional grunts & squeals, almost constant chasing of each other--if one scampers away down the hall, the other thunders along behind.

Scene Two: Wally makes a beeline for Aggie's food plate (his was far away upstairs and this one looked so very convenient and appealing). She looked askance for a moment as though she could not really believe this interloper was eating HER food, but then she joined in with hardly a whimper.

Stay tuned for Episode 3 coming later this week!

How I Spend the Fourth of July

It is possible I might reposition my right paw to cover my ears more effectively, but other than that, this is how I plan to spend the next 8 or 9 hours. My useless Human is off to a barbeque at the neighbors', so I really can't count on much soothing comfort from her. I will just have to prepare as best I can for the Festivities of the Fourth.

In an emergency, there's the nice big dark space under the bed, but there are a lot of scary dust bunnies down there.


In other news: Apparently Aggie & Wally had another chance to "bond" yesterday. Their Dad reports that they chased each other and batted paws, but no kitten was fighting for real, and no injuries were incurred. Also, report is that Wally has learned to give as good as he gets in the hiss and growl department. Photo installment #2 soon!

The Meet & Greet, Chapter One

Scene One: In this corner, Aggie (note the restraining hand
& flattened ear position),
emitting low growls.
In that corner, Wally-the-Cherryblossom, innocently curious.

Scene Two: Sweet Wally finally notices he is being pursued,
and turns to gaze lovingly at his stalker.
Wicked Aggie hisses softly
as she readies for attack.

Scene Three: Aggie has gained the high ground and the upper paw.
Does Sweet Wally stand a chance?

Stay tuned for the next installment
of The Young and the Restless: Kitten Edition

Human, Can We Talk?

Now look, I know you love me and, frankly, most of the time that works out pretty well for me. I get the fresh water & the good foods, the nice beds (well, except that last blue abomination), pretty good toys, plenty of brushing when I ask for it, and a good view of the neighbors and the streetlife here in our little corner of San Francisco.

But this 24/7 attention really has to stop. I know that the school year is over, and you don't really have to go into work every day, but I'm asking: Please go to work everyday. It's just too hard on me when you're around here every friggin' minute.

And when you do finally leave, and I think I'm good for the next 10 hours or so, bam! you're back after 45 minutes with a bag of groceries and the gleam of affection in your eye. It's all too much for me. I just can't be there for you all the damn time.

Get a hobby! Get a life! Go spend some time with our new friends Aggie & Wally!

Please.