Uh-Oh

Kitties, a shiny black box arrived just for me the other day! The Human brought it home and we inspected the exotic postmark: Suomi (Finland), it read.
Now, for weeks and weeks my Fellow Royal, Punapippuri, has been threatening to box up a kitten and send him along so I can share the, uh, joy he feels at the imminent arrival of Sampo. He tells me this creature's name is Stampo, and he means me no harm.
But I dunno. I have concerns. He's very stealthy and I find it wearing to keep track of him.
For the past few days, I have the uneasy certainty I am being watched.
The Human says I should chill out, but I say the price of serenity is eternal vigilance!

Stay tuned: Stampo was not the only SURPRISE in that box!

Happy Easter, Kitties!

Hippity-Hoppity Happy Easter Day! 

♥ No hisses or scratches today, just purrs for efurryone ♥

Je Suis Innocent

Damage the Human, mes amis? Moi? 

Surely you jest!

N.B. Yesterday's so-called 'confession' was illegally obtained under door rest do ress doe tress duress. Yeah, that's it. I was denied counsel and no Nirvana Rites were recited to me, either. I was kept under harsh lights for elebenty-six hours and nobody brought me any Whiska's toonas or 'Vine. I did not have adequate access to my litter box.

I certainly cannot be held responsible for any admissions I may or may not have made under such absurd adders adverse circumstances.

And that's the troof, the whole troof, and nuffing but the troof.

I don't really want to talk about it.
You know you scared me today,
picking me up and carrying me around like a sack of potatoes.
And yes, I know I scratched you a little as I squirmed violently to escape:

But honestly, it was your own fault,

and you know it.

Spring Vacation, Human?

Well, yes, as a matter of fact, it will be pleasant to have you around a little more often for ten days or so starting Friday, but please remember: There *is* no vacation from your duties as my staff. 
I expect my meals on my usual tray at the usual times (before 6:00 a.m. please--you got into some lax habits while you had the Floo, but those days are gone now), and my pettings, brushings and toytimes on the regular schedule.
As far as I'm concerned, Human, you've already had your vacation.

My Prize! My Prize!

Waaaaaaaay back when, the Lovely Savannah and I were voted the Sweetest Couple at Mollie and Alfie's fabulous Valentine's Ball:

You can see our award over there, just to the right.

Well! Kitties, guess what? A few days ago, Mollie sent me a PRIZE! Just looky!!

There was a note                                                                          and some CatNip Drops!

And....and....and there were Mr. Snake and Miss Mousie, too! Looky again! 

 

Mr. Snaky's laffing at me, isn't he, Kitties?

Thanks, Mollie and Alfie! I love my new furiends!

And We're Baaaack

Not nearly such an exciting number today, eh? 
Well, just wait for 999 more!

We want to thank everyone for their kind words and good wishes! I made the Human round up and send $65 to those wonderful people at PAWS (I ordered her to let the post-midnight commenters count and she obeyed without a peep). As, of course, she should.

Oh oh oh!!! The Prize!!! Well, there were 61 comments, so we entered 1-61 on random.org and the number generated was 41*!  Guess what? My friend NERISSA was Comment #41 so (pretty soon) a really great prize (TBA) will be headed to Nerissa and his Thousands of Brofurs and Sisfurs! Congrats, Buddy!

* No we did not take a picture of the screen. We're sorry. But you can totally TRUST Spitty. I was the one who told on GW about that cherry tree. Really. I was.

A Grand Grand

Kitties! Can you IMAGINE that I have reached my 1000th post? To be honest, back on April 14, 2010, I wasn't sure there'd even be a second, let alone a 433rd or 758th or 999th!

To celebrate, the Human says we can have a COMMENTATHON for our friends at PAWS; she will donate $1 per comment posted by 11:59 p.m. Sunday, March 24. One comment per kitty household, please ;-)

AND everyone who comments will also be entered in a little contest to win a super-cool prize that we haven't quite decided on yet. I guarantee you will love it though! 

Thanks for hanging out with me for these past three years ~ You're the BEST!

I Am Far Happier

than I look, Kitties. In fact, I just got the Brushies and I am purring.

After posting every day since January 1, 2012, we are taking a day off

Friday because the Human has a hideous work event tomorrow night,

and we want our next post to be an extra-good one.

Be sure to come back on Caturday!

♫ Ding Dong

Who is it?

     Mrs. Ramilarghh?

Who is it?

     Plumber...

Plumber? I didn't ask for a plumber. Who is it?

     Candygram.

Sorries, Human

I didn't really mean to call you a useless slacker. 

Or wait, did I?

******************************************

P.S.  Methinks I may have been a wee bit dense yesterday. I think maybe Iza-Lambie was dropping me a hint, hint that maybe, just maybe, she and Ayla and Marley might possibly enjoy the Illuminating Blogger Award! And so I happily bestow it upon them, as my time with Iza-Lambie has been nothing if not illuminating!

Herewith the official badge:

and the rules:

1) Thank and link back to the Kitty who gave it to you;
2) Say a few words of gratitude on your blog; &
3) Pass on the award to other bloggers or another blogger or whatever you wish to do! You can even be a slacker, like us!

My Celestial Award

A long, long time ago in a Galaxy far, far away, my Beloved Star (okay, and that Barbarian Leo, too) gave me this lovely Illuminating Blogger Award.

The rules are to 1) Thank and link back to the Kitties who gave it to you (check);
2) Say a few words of gratitude on your blog (coming right up); &
3) Pass on the award to at least five other bloggers (we'll get to this in a minute).

First, I want to say I am grateful for Star and Leo who visit and say such nice and interesting and funny things everyday (well, Leo doesn't say nearly as much as Star, which is fine with me). And the Human and I are super grateful for their Mommy Andrea, who does so much work to help homeless kitties find furever homes. She rocks!

We are also grateful for all our furiends who visit and make us laugh and cry. *I* am especially grateful for all of you who kept our spirits up during the Long Siege of the Floo that practically killed the Human. She was terrible company. You cannot even imagine. Good thing I had you guys to make me smile and purr at least once a day.

Finally, since I am so very late in posting this, I think just about every Kitty and Woofie we know has received this at least once. So I will just ignore the last rule (Moi? Ignore a rule? Why, that's just crazypants!) and tell you all again how grateful we are for your furiendship.

O How I Wish . . .

I had passed up the last round of Guinness.

If I don't look at it, will it go away?

Just for ME!

My beloved Katie Isabella and Mom Carole took pity on me in my afflictions and sent me a SPECIAL PRESENT, just for ME, all the way from Hong Kong!  Looky! (Uh, yes, I *did* notice the Human's name was actually on the package, but c'mon! Around here, all the packages R belong to the Kitty! I mean, seriously! As if the Human deserves a package! Don't make me laugh.)

And, Ooooooh, looky! It has been through special Customs and efurrything! 

Just for ME!

The Human got out the little scissors and ever-so-gently removed MY little box from its fancy envelope. And just look, Kitties! There's a card with a kitty, 

and even an aqua kitty stenciled right on the box!

Could its recipient be any clearer?

Carefully, she extracted the intriguing items from their special kitty-decorated box!

I moved right in at the opportune moment, 

ready to deliver some good sniffs and a stern whapping!

But, wait--what? No sooner had my snooter made contact with

these adorable items than they were unceremoniously snatched away!

"Sorry, Spitty. These pawsome bookmarks are for ME," 

declared the Woman in the Ratty Baffrobe.

And do you know what, Kitties? They were! They were for her!

The Human says, "Thanks, Mom Carole and Katie! Getting this sweet present was just about the nicest thing that's happened to me in the last hideous two weeks! You're the best!"

Spitty says, "Yes, I want to thank you very much. It was so very kind of you to send the Stoopy Human--Ouch!!!  Wait--all right, all right!--the Long-Suffering Woman such a nice present. And I will try to treat these tempting lovely bookmarks with all the rampaging claws of doom respect and restraint in the world."

Help Me.

Is It Safe to Come Out Now?

It has been a long, dark fortnight, as we almost never say

here in the good old U.S. of A.

Things have been tough, what with the daily ups and downs

of The Woman in the Ratty Baffrobe, 

the shocking oversight that deprived the world of Pope Spitty I,

and the twin disappointments of tardy food and vanishing playtimes.

It is the Ides of March, Kitties, and

I hear the satisfying scrape of Knives being readied.

Off to St. Peter's!

The smoke was white! I'm being paged!

BRB!

Zebra Boy Ignores Your Miseries

Yes, Kitties, Spitty's had just about enough of this twaddle about kindness, and care, and compassion. The Human's had quite enough time to  pull herself together and get back to work, for goodness sake. 

Surely she can't imagine I'm going to tolerate having her here with me all day long, everyday, wrapped in her ratty baffrobe, drinking Wal-tussin straight from the bottle and monopolizing the remote. Nope:  It's Not Going to Happen.

You know what today is? No? Well, I'll tell you:

It's Independence Day.

Me Time

Well, the Human calculates she is about 4% better so she went into work for a (very) few hours today. She did not do well, and it scared her a little that her students were so well-behaved (does she look that bad? ::shhhhhhh:: but yes, she does).

At least I had a little private time to gaze soulfully out the windows at the neighbors going about the quotidian tasks of laundry-doing, and dog-walking, and shopping. Quite refreshing to be on my own, however briefly.

Paws Down: Lah Di Dah

Just marking time until somebody might possibly feel like playing with me, or snuggling me, or brushing me, or, you know, something, for Cod's sake.

Paws Up: A Rest from Caretaker Duties

The Human is still hacking and spitting and shuddering and sleeping fretfully and whining and standing under the hot shower at 2:00 a.m., but today? 
Well, today, she's just having to do it all without my assistance. This Good Boy stuff is exhausting! 

Thanks to everyone who keeps leaving good wishes in spite of the fact that the Human hasn't helped me visit in, I dunno--like elebenty weeks, or four days, or something. We hope to be back soon. Meanwhile? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Waiting Patiently

I took a nap with the Human today, right on the bed with her and everything. When she bumped me with her foot, I did not bolt. When she sat up, I did not skedaddle, when she leaned over to pet me I made a little trill of happiness and squirmed into a more comfy position. When she got up, I stayed where I was.

Now, how many Good Boy Points do I receive for all that?

I Am a Good Boy

Yes, I am. I have napped and played quietly, made few demands. She's been feeding me on schedule for the most part, though last night I got only crunchies (and those not till the middle of the night, but who's counting?) instead of my usual complement of wet food. But did I complain?

No, I did not. I ate those crunchies like a good boy and went quietly back to sleep, even though she prowled from bedroom, to kitchen, to dining room, to living room, to bathroom, to bedroom like a possessed, flu-ish zombie from like midnight till 6:00 a.m. It was terrifying, really.

We are sorry we've been very spotty in visiting. I can only hope that by the weekend she'll have recovered sufficiently to get her priorities straight for expending her limited energy. My Blog, of course, should be at the tippy-top of that list.

The Flu? You Can't Handle the Flu!

Kitties, It's been a brutal three days. The Human has been home sick and feeling really, truly, awfully sorry for herself and not paying anywhere near enough attention to me. 
Oh, she's been feeding me (when she remembers, that is), and once in awhile she says, "Oh, hi, Spitty" as she staggers past on her way to pour some more 7-Up. She hardly plays with me and last night when I graciously offered to keep her company on the bed (something I rarely do), I got a kick for my troubles. Oh, yes, she says it was inadvertent, but I have my doubts, Kitties, I have my doubts.
Mostly, it's been a "fend-for-yourself" kind of week thus far. The King is not amused.

On the Next Episode of Hoarders . . .

Table Cat judges your Housekeeping

and finds it wanting.

Starvation

You would not believe what happened to me! The Human went to bed last night without ever giving me my night-time foods! Now, she claims she is not feeling well, she claims she took a sick day today for the first time in two years, she claims it had nothing at all to do with yesterday's travesty of a post.

But, my furiends, I do not believe her! It just seems like too much of a coincidence that she makes that insulting post with a tape measure and then, just ever so innocently and conveniently, forgets my dinner! This is an Outrage of the First Order, perhaps not quite as horrifying as last August, but certainly right up there in the Top Five.

Thank Ceiling Cat I got my breakfast! And not a moment too soon, either. I was all fainty.

So Rude

Really? Really? *You* think *I'm* getting a little plump? 

You can't be serious! 

No, wait, wait -- I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe here.

Really, stop! Yer killin' me.

Don't Tickle Me Elmo

Some Days You Hold Up the Wall . . .

. . . some days the Wall holds you.