Bottoms Up!

Let's break out the Giants bubbly and raise a glass to Gregor Blanco and Pablo Sandoval who saved their team from a winless homestand and ended their six-game slide toward oblivion last night!

New Beach Town In the Kingdom

As King, it is sometimes within my purview to name things--towns, streets, monuments, parks, bars, you know, Kingly Stuffs--after my Pals Loyal Subjects.
Because he has had to endure the arrival of two new babycats, I decided Princeton at Angel Prancer Pie has merited such an honor, so I went down there today and made sure all the signs had been installed.

Kitties, This Is Why

I can't has unrestricted access to my beloved fresh kitty grass "for awhile":

It's not my fault that I was overcome in an inauspicious bomiting spot, right?

It's not my fault the gooey bomit oozed its way down into the crevices between the DVDs! It's not my fault the DVDs ended up here:

She should be streaming her shows anyways! It's 2014, for Cod's sake!

Last Evening at Lake Merced

these really nice fishermen offered to catch me a fresh dinner. It was delicious!
As you can see, I had to fend off a flock of seagulls to get this great seat.

An Easy Sunday Story in Six Pictures

So Tie-Tie

Surfing, Furrari tripping and buffalo-serenading this week really left me all tuckered out. Time for a long, blissful nappy on this fine Caturday.

♪♪ Oh, Give Me a Home . . .

where the buffalo roam ♪. . .

So, I went out to visit the buffalo in Golden Gate Park the other day, and sang them this little song. They seemed right pleased to hear it, too.

♪ Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree . . .

With anyone else but me . . .  ♪ ♪

Warm summer days call for convertibles . . . and when I hauled out my candy-apple-red Furrari, I knew it was time to scoop up the Lovely Pricilla in Montana, where her feline minions had taken over the blog show for the week, and hit the road.
Pricilla spent such a long time in the orchard, I feared we'd miss our second stop, a secret country lane, specially stocked with Goatie Goodness, but as daylight waned, we arrived and she hopped lightly from her customized rumble-seat.

After she nibbled delicately on husks and berries, we stowed the leftovers in the trunk and sped off homeward.

Before I dropped her off at the farm, I gave her a nice bouquet as a souvenir of our special day together. I think she enjoyed the lovely flowers . . . in her own way, of course!

Eh, Whatev.

A dear friend purchased this fine toy 
for her Kitty. Her kitty didn't much care 
for it. Our friend boxed it up, batteries 
and all, and mailed it to me all the way 
from Sacramento. Wasn't that super
nice of her??
Last night the Human *finally* put it 
together for me, and . . . 
Well, I'll let you see for yourselves 
how excited I was!

Look, Look! It's an Award!

I want to say a big Thank You to Travis at Lone Star Cats for this shiny new Shine On award.

After 4+ years of blogging, I'm not sure there is even one fact, let alone seven, that you don't already know, my Fine Feline Readers, but I will do my best!

a. Sometimes I like to try new flavors of stinky goodness, but as soon as the Human buys a bunch (see 7/19), I decide the old stand-bys are the best after all.
5.  Lately, I have softened the Human up by snuggling a little bit when she goes to bed, and actually sleeping nearby for much of the night, but then I change my mind and sleep in my tiny tent or on the bookshelves. It makes her soooooooo frusterated!

x.  I meow like a little girl kitten.

&.  I am embarrassed that I am still a Tenderpaw in Cat Scouts.

U.  I've been thinking about getting the Furrari out. It's been a l-o-n-g time.

1. I totally stole this numbering system from the Lounge Kitties.

p.  I'm working on memorizing a soliloquy from Hamlet. I'll let you know how it goes.

My Human is far too lazy and inept to help me figure out 15 kitties who haven't received this award yet....but we would love to read 7 facts about you, so please help yourself! And thanks again, Lone Star Cats!

♪ If everybody had an ocean Across the U. S. A. Then everybody'd be surfin' Like Californi-a ♫

The Human and her friend went for a nice little walkies Sunday afternoon. Weren't they surprised to see me on my board, catching a wave or five in the frigid waters of the Pacific! While those others wear wetsuits, I eschew such silly Human accessories and let my furs do the job.

Surveying the Kingdom

Last night, I took advantage of the Human's absence to teleport downtown and take a gander at my Kingdom around Union Square, where apparently Halle, Calle and Sukki have been doing a fine job as Viceroys.

There was a lot going on, all right, but it all seemed orderly enough, and I was delighted to see the new street signs.

Excellently done, Viceroys. Your King is well-pleased.

Shopping Trip

So the Human went shopping Friday afternoon, and I don't know whether to be flattered or offended at the contents of this PetSmart bag.

"Picky Cat"? Phhft. Discerning feline gourmet, I should think!

On the other hand, I don't hoover my food down like some Little Piggy Boy.

And do you see the Ambrosial Jars peeping out at right? Now there's the food for a "Picky Cat"!

True (and Humiliating) Confessions

Well, Kitties, it's time for me to pay up. Foolishly, I was suckered into making a wager on the World Cup final with that sly & wily Punapippuri, King Kitty Cat of Finland (N).

The stakes were these: the Loser (i.e., ME) was to post an embarrassing secret.

Well, Furiends, I have struggled mightily for Lo, these many years to hide this humiliating reality: When I am warm, and sleepy, and comfortables, and my heady is being scritched just so, I drool. I can't help myself, okay?

Well, King P? Am I all paid up now? 

A Comedy of Errors

Today, Kitties, I bring you a story about how the Human scared me half to death yesterday. There's a tiny semi-circular table (see photo) in our living room, and when The Human came home yesterday afternoon, she could see my tailio and paw protruding from beneath it. Obviously, this was because I was comfortably curled up under there, deeply immersed in slumberland. 

Except . . . she had never before seen me snooze under this particular piece of furniture, and in fact had no idea I could even squeeze myself into that little space. Well, Kitties, she freaked out and thought maybe I was dead or something! WTF??? I was S-L-E-E-P-I-N-G, Lady--emphasis on the was.

So, because she was all freaked out, she came straight at me at an almost-run, frantically calling "Spitty! Spitty! What are you doing???", thus waking me instantly and sending me into Full Panic mode myself, as I scrabbled like some crazed Ninja Cat to get out from under that little table and far away from her. 

It was like a damn Marx Brothers movie in here for a few minutes. Anyway, I ended up glaring at her from across the room, wishing I could say, "Have you lost your f'ing MIND, Human?" We is all calmed down now, though, and I have since been napping peaceably on my kitty tower. 

It was a tight fit down under that table, but I liked it. It was SNUG. Now, I don't know if I will ever feel comfy under there again.

Morning Routine, Summer Division

Now, during the school year, I am lucky if I get so much as a Good morning, Spitty from the Human. In the summertime, however, we sometimes enjoy a virtual stroll through Facebook and some kitty blogs over a cup of coffee and a soupçon of kibble.

Can you guess whose Facebook post we are admiring this morning?

Sometimes

when I relax comfortably on this little basket-table next to the Human's computer desk, I am in the mood to be petted and coddled and tickled and so forth.

But other times, I like to bask in the warm sun, while lying in moderately close proximity to the Human, and yet be left strictly alone.

I ask myself: Why is it the Human is unable to differentiate between those two states?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

It Was All Just A . . .

Or . . . Was it?

Re-Edumacation Camp, Part Deux

Finally, finally the long day of Re-edumacation had reached its close. As the campers prepared for sleep, smugly congratulating one another on having taken everything Cheesebox and Da Big Toona had dished out, a low growl rumbled through the night. The Humans huddled together in alarm. 

A wicked cackle announced the arrival of . . .

Cathy "The Savage" Keisha, Despoiler of Cat Servants

"Surely you did not imagine," she crooned, "you would get off so easily?"

The Cat Servants whimpered in fear as they turned to face their Feline Overlord.

Welcome to Servant Re-education Camp: Meet the Faculty

Photo: wikimedia.org

Staff Sergeant Tony "Boots" Soprano welcomes campers and makes them feel at home on their first day.

Photo: wikimedia.org

Mickey "Cheesebox" Callahan escorts each new 'student' to his or her cabin, conveying silent-but-violent disapproval at every step.

Photo: wikimedia.org

Lieutenant Vincent "Vinny Gorgeous" Barbieri makes sure the new campers have not brought any contraband into their cabins.

Photo: wikimedia.org

Captain Tommy "Da Big Toona" Fisher delivers the Keynote Address at the opening dinner.

Thankful Thursday

Although about 2/3 of Thankful Thursday has already passed, I want to use the rest of it to be Thankful for my faithful friends who still visit me, even though the Human has been pretty darn spotty and unreliable in helping me keep up in recent months. I have sent her off to Reeducation Camp and hope that, this time, it finally takes. I like to think they will be very strict with her there.

Now *This* Is More Like It

As you can see, I am moving toward normalizing relations with the Human. She has quite a lot more of this to do, but she is heading the right direction. I am docking her a few points for not de-schmutzing my eye corners before taking close ups.

Stage II

Well, I'm not Under the Bed, right?

Yes, Yes, I See You're Home.

I am not sure of what possible interest this bit of information is to me. I'm going to hiss-s-s-s at you now, and then disappear UTB for a nice long sulk.

Later--maybe--we'll talk.

Foster Fail #3

Two of the Human's dearest friends in the world foster kittens for their local humane society. Little Butterscotch here brings their "foster fail" total to three, as this wee one will join two older siblings, Lily & Cooper, who 'failed' into the family last year. You might remember them from this post.  That kitten *is* kind of cute. Even I have to say that much.

And the Rockets' Red Glare

The Human said this was a ton of fun, but I beg to disagree. Purrsonally, I was glad to be several hundred miles away from these insane Peoples.

Did You Know There's Other Impawtant Stuff in the Declaration of Independence?

Yes, Kitties, there *is* and those wily Humans have tried to keep it from us! But I, Spitty-the-Kitty, have unearthed the true and correct copy. And here's what the Humans have been hiding:

.....All Felines are created superior. . .they are endowed by their Creator with numerous unalienable Rights, . . . among these are Toonas, Catnip, the pursuit of Silvervine and the expectation of reliable service from their Staff.

So, how 'bout them apples, eh?

I Was a Little Bored,

so I decided to teleport over to where the Human is enjoying a long weekend. At first, it seemed okay, but then I saw this:

and I changed my mind. 
Boredom isn't so bad.

While the Human Is Away . . .

I am hard at work, supervising the dismantling of the old Eastern span of the Bay Bridge. It's going well, don't you think so?

Point of View

She calls this evidence.


I call it decorating.