51 Shades of Paradise Lost

Spoiled by that infernal Clickity Box.

My new non-towering tower is just purrfect . . . except.

And Now for Something Completely Different

Evidently the Human heeded my call for at least a temporary cease-click with the Flashy Box, because today we have a picture story in which *I*, Spitty the Kitty, do not appear.

It seems that on the block where Wally, Aggie, Madie Mitten Kitten and their Dad reside, something kind of wonderful has sprung up in recent months.

The Humans who live in a house near the street-car cut decided a while back to designate a tree in front of their home as a Gratitude Tree. They encircled the tree with chicken wire and provided tags on which their neighbors and other passers by could write something for which they were grateful and then tie the tag to the tree.

That proved so popular, they added a second tree, a Wishing Tree:

This one brought a little tear to the Human's eye (and it even gave me a tiny lump in my throat). We made it big so you could read it, but in case you can't, it says: "I wish for QueQue, Pele + Zach to all find each other over the rainbow bridge...see you someday again © Papa + Mom"

I can't summon up a single snarky comment. I must be going soft, do you think?

But don't fret none. I'll be back to myself by the weekend.

Flashy Box! Flashy Box! Flashy Box!

I want to have my late afternoon snack and window time in peace, thank you very much!

Don't you already have, like, 8482 pictures of me? 
I am a cat. 
I am floofy. 
I am all black. 
I have amberish-greenish eyes. 
I am medium-sized.

I look the same in every freaking picture! Stop it!

The Human and the Police

On January 27, the Human got a fix-it ticket for a missing front license plate. 

In order to get replacements, she had to surrender the other plate, which means she has been driving around for almost a month with NO license plates. 

Finally, on Saturday, the new ones arrived. After they were properly affixed yesterday, she bit the bullet and went to Park Police Station near our Castle--not easy to get to either--you can *see* it--you just can't easily drive to it! 

Anyway, she parked & walked to the station. An officer outside bid a friendly hello and so she said she needed a fix-it ticket signed off so it would cost only 10 green papers instead of 117.

He asked what the ticket was for and she told him it was for the missing front license plate. 

He said, "Sure" and reached for it. 

She said, "Don't you want to see the plates?" 

He said, "No, in my experience people who come TO the police station of their own free will are usually telling the truth."

LOL! She coulda got that ticket signed off a month ago without replacing the plate at all! Stoopy Human!

Tippity Toppity

Here comes Spitty Floofytail 

Boppin' down the kitty trail. . . 

Hippity hoppity, his keister's on display! 

Crikey! What Fresh Horror Is This?

Oh, wait a minute! Once I calmed down, and saw this monstrosity was not going to eat me, I began to explore it (tailio still swishing though, and a certain aura of suspicion lingering around that tippy-top perch). 

Huh. It's pretty comfertabuls, and an improvement over the boring basket that was here before. It even has a nice scratching surface on the upright.

Good job, Human. 

Overly-Sharpened Sunday Semi-Selfie

Well, the Human got a little carried away with Photoshop, and is too l-a-z-y to go back and fix it. Of course.

As you can see, my sparkly green ball is alive and well, and has *not* (despite suggestions to the contrary) traversed my digestive tract. As if! It is right there, waiting happily for my attentions later this evening.

Spring continues its untimely course, creating sun puddles galore and leaving nothing but dust in its wake. 

The time for my nappy, which knits up the raveled sleeve of care, has arrived and I am powerless to resist.

Hope efurry kitty is having an Easy Sunday!

Thoughtful Thursday

And, oh Kitties! The thoughts I am having!
You just cannot imagine.

Sweet Caroline has been given up for Lent? What nonsense is THAT?

Someone (I'm looking at YOU Queen Nellie) has suggested The Beads may make another appearance soon. 

And Flynn and Queen Katie suggested I am pooping green sparkly balls. Not to mention the twin spectres of rosaries and pea soup & you know who you are, CK and Lounge Kitties.

Phffffft!  What I need is a nappy, and perhaps a soothing companion.

Ash Wednesday

As Penance the Human Crybaby lured me onto a chair where she deposited one strand of The Beads from Hell.

They weren't quite so bad singly as they were when they were traveling in packs.

But still . . . 

                                                                               






                                                                                                                                                                                       it burns.

Well, Apparently . . .

I am sooooooooooo afraid of these

That I did this:

Phffffft! So I scratched her arm! 
What a whiner she is!

Laissez rouler 

les bon temps!

There Is One Important Difference

between these two pictures. Can you find it?
Extra Credit:  Can you suggest a hypothesis to account for this difference?

Spitty Over Easy

The Human says, "I'll take two and leave the yolks a little runny."

I say, "Ha ha ha. Real funny." 

And then I go back to sleep.

We Loves You All

It's Hot.

and I don't mean sexy and good-lookin' either.

I mean unseasonably warm and unpleasant.

The Wisdom of Ellen in Oregon

Appropos of yesterday's post, my most excellent friend Ellen in Oregon wrote, "Being shamed by standing in the corner is not fitting of your royal kinglyness. If anyone should be made to stand in a corner, it should be the human for not remembering that grass is the Ipecac syrup of cats."

I ask you, Kitties, have truer words ever been spoken? I forced the Servant to take this Royal Portrait most befitting of my station when she arrived home from her w-o-r-k this evening. She argued that she should be allowed to "relax" first, but I told her that would have to wait till later, when *I* told her it was time.

I'm Sorry I Ate So Much Grass

that I frowed up on the carpet.

How much longer do 
I have to stay 
in the corner?

Spitty's On the Case

So, this is the sight that greeted the Human as she walked 

from the garage to the front door this very afternoon

(yes, this afternoon, February 10, 2015).

"Hmm," she thought. "Is this a Valentine's Day tree I spy?"

As she entered the lobby of our building, however, 

she spied the tell-tale signs of the VDT's suspicious origins:

She reached our landing & saw the trail continued upward:

But it was the end of a long day and she was disinclined to follow 

the needle-trail all the way to its source.

When she came inside, she asked me, "Spitty, did you see who put that crispy ole Christmas Tree out there today?"

Well, Kitties, I mean, of course I did. 

But I'm not telling.

Honestly, Kitties, Your Little Minds

are in the gutter! The gutter, I tell you. Tsk, tsk. 

When I said I did "other things" with my new brushie tunnel, your naughty little imaginations just cut loose, didn't they, Kitties? And your Humans' too--am I right?

I play fev-ver games with my Human, Kitties, that's what I do.

My goodness!

Who Can Resist

the Steely Gaze of Spitty the Kitty that penetrates to the very soul of evildoers?

Or perhaps only to the flinty heart of his Human, too lazy to open that next can of delishus toonas?

Perhaps someone will yet step forward to comfort him.

Sunday Self-Brushing Selfie

At first I was all 'spishus of this contraption, but now I'm all in love with it.

I take little cat-naps right near it, so I can lift my heady and give myself a little brushie whenever the spirit moves me.

I do other stuff with it too, but that's a story for another day.

Water from the Sky?

Kitties! Do you see? DO you?

After a January with 0 measurable rainfall --that's right: 
ZERO 
GOOSE EGG 
NADA 
NUTHIN'--
water fell from the sky today.

It was awesome!




Gratuitous Spitty Shot for the Ladycats:

Traveler Kitty Has Arrived

The ever-wonderful and multi-talented Stacy Hurt created this fantastic fabric-and-lots-of-other-stuff kitty that the Human bought just for me--right, Human? It's for me? 'Cause you know, it says "King's Highway"! And that's me.
We loves it thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssss much!

I Has a Halo

Do I not? Am I not glowing as a King ought? I have no need of crowns or scepters! 

I am pondering great Affairs of State, Kitties. I think the world needs my wisdom as things are in a terrible muddle everywhere.

Where to begin . . . where to begin?

Whew--I'm Eggs-sawsted!

Man, that Pricilla about wore me out. Don't even *make* me tell you about getting rid of Lover Boy. After I dropped her back home today, I could not rush home fast enough from snowy Montana to sunny San Francisco and settle into my window seat for a nice relaxing baff. 

I was thrilled to find the Human had left me an excellent breakfast before she scurried off to work; my slumbers were long and very satisfying. I am sure I shall wake refreshed and ready for new adventures tomorrow.

I think I'll be picking goat furs and hay outta the Furrari for a few weeks, though.

By the Time We Get to Phoenix . . .♪♪*

Okay, I had to speak extra-sternly to Pricilla to pry her away from that handsome devil, but I persuaded her that her family in freezy Montana would miss her if she ran off with a mysterious stranger. And you know they'd blame me!
Don't worry, Miss Patty, your best goatie-girl will be home tomorrow.

Almost certainly.

*  Sorry about the weird way this is posted; something goofy with Blogger for me tonight. Hissssssssss!