Friday, March 2, 2018

Once Upon a Seismic Upgrade

The last time the Human parked in her garage was July 31, 2017. 
On that day, Anthony Scarramucci, The Mooch, spent his last day at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Prince Harry was still footloose and fancy free, & Elon Musk's Tesla was still on Terra Firma.
In all its infinite wisdom, the city of San Francisco issued a decree that all residential buildings with 6 units or more and a "soft story" must be retrofitted. Worst case, three months they said.
                              Tick    Tick    Tick    Tick.
Liars.
So, as we embark on our eighth month of Honda displacement, yesterday appeared this Thing just outside our front door, looming like the portal to a distant and dangerous universe. Or maybe just a particularly ominous port-a-potty covering.

How will it all end? we ask. But no one replies.



Obligatory picture of The Kitty, so you can tell how much he's fretting about the Human's parking difficulties:

16 comments:

  1. Aren't you glad we kitties don't have to worry about such things?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Spitty - I recall how much the noise in the basement upset you when those people first moved in. You've been very stoic and haven't mentioned it since. But now I appreciate that you've also been worrying yourself sick about where the Human can park her vehicle. And to top it all off, some kind of Dr Who portal Tardis 'thing' has turned up. I hope that they're not going to kidnap you and take you to another planet. (Perhaps you could offer up the Human instead - strictly for educational and scientific research purposes, of course.)

    Megan
    Sydney, Australia

    ReplyDelete
  3. Enter the box and see where it takes you, Spitty's Human! Send us a message from wherever you end up. Feed Spitty before you leave of course...

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is a large and ominous looking "thing". Thank goodness it hasn't disturbed your nap time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Obviously it's some sort deep state false flag operation, Spitty. That sort of thing is going around, don't you know.

    ReplyDelete
  6. 2018 - A Space Odyssey? Wouldn't take a bolt cutter but a second to clip off that cheesy little lock.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nice that you are so concerned about the parking issue (cough cough) but honestly I think you might put a little concern into that BIG BLACK BOX. Whatever is in there, someone doesn't want it to get out.....now THAT could keep me awake at night.....wondering......!

    Hugs, Teddy

    ReplyDelete
  8. What the heck is that thing and what is a soft story? We are certain whatever it is, the city is worried about a collapse in an earthquake. Mom says all construction estimates should be doubled and redoubled, so here is your new timeline. 3+3 =6, 6+6 = 12. So there you have it. Plan for reopening this July 31. Until then, don't bother to get up, Spitty. Just continue to nap peacefully. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy and Sawyer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here Here!!!! The voice of reason and circumstance!

      Delete
  9. We sure wouldnt’ want that big thing outside our house.

    ReplyDelete
  10. That thing is bizarre - can it really include a human WC inside ? is someone really so worried the paper will get stolen they box it up in a huge, erm, BOX ? Or is it the new seismically upgrade human portaloo ?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good plan, Spitty. Just take a nap until all this is settled. As for that black box .. maybe it's a secret portal to our house???

    ReplyDelete
  12. We think some thug will be curious to know what's in that big black box and break open the lock. That will answer one question. We want to know what a "soft story" is and what is it they are retrofitting into the soft story?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Looks like a black-hole container, to me, Spitty!

    ReplyDelete

Leave me a meow or a hiss; I don't mind a hiss or two. . . or even a bitey.