C'mon! I dare you!

Reach right on in here and gimme a good scritch! You know you want to.

Day of Reckoning

All righty, then!  I guess I should really begin with the shambles the Human made of the form itself. Her Photoshop skills are elementary at best. I guess I should be grateful, though, since her other alternative was to use Paint, and frankly she doesn't really understand how to use even that primitive tool with any efficiency. So right off the bat, she's losing points.

But on to the meat of the Purrfurmance Review itself.

#1) Quantity of Output:  Well, in 2010, she helped me blog on 203 days of the roughly 285 days available (our first post was on April 14). Not great, but not terrible either. 2 Paws

#2) Quality of Output:  Her photographic skills suck. Her translation of my deepest inner thoughts is barely adequate. She gets sidetracked. Her priorities are often misplaced. She posts embarrassing photos without permission. Pfft!  2 Swats

#3) Pawticipation, Part I: I ask you, Kitties: Do you see any contact information on my blog? Yeah, right, I thought not. 0, Zero, Fail

#4) Pawticipation, Part II:  Disgraceful! I don't get to send Krissymouse cards, or enter contests, or do any of the other fun stuff I see the other Kitties doing. I don't think she even understands what half the stuff is, like "Blog Hop" -- now, that sounds like fun, right? But does she learn what it is or how to do it? Hah! In my dreams, Kitties, in my dreams! Worse, she lacks even a hint of motivation to do better. She gets a Zero, Zilch, Nada, Nothing: A Big, Fat Goose Egg

#5) Client Satisfaction: Well, Kitties, this one is really up to you. I was generous in my grade on this section, because she has done a passable enough job that I have made lots of new friends and gotten to know you and--for better or worse--your Humans. I've even met a woofie or two ::shudder::  Your comments have warmed my flinty little heart.  2 Paws

#6)  Overall:  At least this year I am not on the outside, pressing my wet little nose against the screen, reading other kittehs' blogs and envying them. I'll give my Human credit (grudgingly) for getting on board with the blog, even if it is neither as frequent nor as fantabulous as some others.  So, while there's plenty of room for improvement, I award my Human  1 Paw 

Oh My Cod: Snow!

So, Kitties! the Human was at her dentist's office today (on the 7th floor of a giant building full of dentists and other kinds of Human v-e-t-s). She and one other Human were in the waiting room when it began to hail hard. They got up and went to watch out the little window. But guess what? After a few minutes, the hail turned to giant soft flakes and it was snowing in downtown San Francisco! Now, okay, there were not a LOT of flakes, and they probably melted before they hit the ground, but still! Snow!

By the time she extracted her camera from her giant messy purse, it was mostly over, but look! Here are two actual flakes streaking by (note the red arrows)

Play Misty for Me

It's a lovely cool, gray day--the very best kind after the summer-in-winter of the past six weeks.  Oh pleasepleaseplease: We can has rain?

For all my LadyCats

 

Getting all spiffed up just for you!

Yes, you, my dearest!

 

Yes, my sweet one, you know who you are!

Seasons in the Sun

Yeah, seasons like autumn and winter, which seem to have passed us over with nary a trace!  Still, here I am bathing my nice paw in the brilliant sunshine; by the way, you might think to ask: "Spitty, was it you who scratched up that wood?" to which I would reply, "So what if I did?"

So I have had an unsatisfactory couple of days during which the Human's priorities have been tragically misplaced. She worked Caturday morning and then attended a work event Caturday night and I did not get my dinner after ten o'clock, Kitties, after ten o'clock! I haven't seen my favorite pink brush in days! We have not had laptime at all! (Now, I know you all know I don't even like or allow laptime, but it's just wrong that she hasn't even tried. C'mon!)

I can't wait for her Purrformance Review. She doesn't know what's coming, Kitties, doesn't even have a clue.

Mind-Altering Substances

Hello, Kitties!  Well, here I am scoping out my Nippy Plant, which miraculously survived the Human's reckless treatment a while back. Frankly, I've become a little ho-hum about the whole Nip thing.That really irritates you-know-who.

If you look carefully, you can see the Human's Adult Beverages (which, of course, serve a similar purpose) cozied up side-by-side with The Green Stuff.

Anyone for a sprig or two with a Bourbon chaser?