Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day of Reckoning

All righty, then!  I guess I should really begin with the shambles the Human made of the form itself. Her Photoshop skills are elementary at best. I guess I should be grateful, though, since her other alternative was to use Paint, and frankly she doesn't really understand how to use even that primitive tool with any efficiency. So right off the bat, she's losing points.

But on to the meat of the Purrfurmance Review itself.

#1) Quantity of Output:  Well, in 2010, she helped me blog on 203 days of the roughly 285 days available (our first post was on April 14). Not great, but not terrible either. 2 Paws

#2) Quality of Output:  Her photographic skills suck. Her translation of my deepest inner thoughts is barely adequate. She gets sidetracked. Her priorities are often misplaced. She posts embarrassing photos without permission. Pfft!  2 Swats

#3) Pawticipation, Part I: I ask you, Kitties: Do you see any contact information on my blog? Yeah, right, I thought not. 0, Zero, Fail

#4) Pawticipation, Part II:  Disgraceful! I don't get to send Krissymouse cards, or enter contests, or do any of the other fun stuff I see the other Kitties doing. I don't think she even understands what half the stuff is, like "Blog Hop" -- now, that sounds like fun, right? But does she learn what it is or how to do it? Hah! In my dreams, Kitties, in my dreams! Worse, she lacks even a hint of motivation to do better. She gets a Zero, Zilch, Nada, Nothing: A Big, Fat Goose Egg

#5) Client Satisfaction: Well, Kitties, this one is really up to you. I was generous in my grade on this section, because she has done a passable enough job that I have made lots of new friends and gotten to know you and--for better or worse--your Humans. I've even met a woofie or two ::shudder::  Your comments have warmed my flinty little heart.  2 Paws

#6)  Overall:  At least this year I am not on the outside, pressing my wet little nose against the screen, reading other kittehs' blogs and envying them. I'll give my Human credit (grudgingly) for getting on board with the blog, even if it is neither as frequent nor as fantabulous as some others.  So, while there's plenty of room for improvement, I award my Human  1 Paw 


  1. Spitty, we are thrilled to warm your flinty little heart, and wash your ManCatly befluffed ears! We award you Human a PAW UP for starting a blog so we can be...ahem..."friends".
    Yeah, that's it...

  2. You are tough, Spitty...but she probably deserves it....

  3. Spitty,
    This is Really Tough for your mom ! My mom smiles because I forgot to do it !


  4. My mom has gotten so feeble, we wouldn't even bother with this. Be grateful for what you've got, Spitty!

  5. Frankly, Spittolini, we are surprised you are being so generous to your Mom in your review. You must be in a good mood because of all this stormy weather. We know you like a good storm.

    ps-tell you Mom that our Mom lived in various neighbhorhoods in SF. 29th & Mission (her old flat is now a medical marijuana place), Barlett at 23rd, in Bernal Heights on Nevada St, in Glen Park on Surrey St, and finally on Corbett. We love SF.

  6. I think you gave your human a pretty fair assessment, Spitty! Maybe even a touch generous!

  7. I think you've been a bit kind Spitty. But it's nice to know my mum is not the only slacker in the world.

  8. That's funny Spitty, I didn't really think you would be that generous!

  9. Spitty, we hads to check yer review out. MOL we has sumfin in common - our the mom got a poor review. We has put her in time out and has to clean our litter box every time we poops fer punishment for a long long time acuz her review was so bad.

  10. We hope yer Mom will take the low rating as a challenge ta improve in 2011!

  11. Spitty
    We love your blog and it sounds like your Mom is sort of like mine. Well I bet she is a lot better informed than mine. MIne is technologically challenged.
    She doesn't even have Photoshop and she needs it.

    We think you and your Mom do a wonderful job.

  12. Spitty, we LOVE your blog and you are too rough on your human, I say that because MY human can't even navigate Paint.Net to its fullest extent either..and OH! For pete SAKES! Photoshop? Pul- eeze. She doesn't allow me to go to anything but Birthday Pawties. Once she had to write The Baby's mommy and ask..well, to post an award. I was SO embarrassed. Butr she loves me, mommy does, so if I had only been able to POST THIS REPURRT!!! (mom forgot) then I would have given her a lot of swats and scratches but 4 paws for loving me.

  13. your blog is pretty darned "fantabulous" to us and we are soooo happy that we were able to meet you!!

    We think you were WAY too hard on your Mom!


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