Friday, March 29, 2013

Je Suis Innocent

Damage the Human, mes amis? Moi? 
Surely you jest!

N.B. Yesterday's so-called 'confession' was illegally obtained under door rest do ress doe tress duress. Yeah, that's it. I was denied counsel and no Nirvana Rites were recited to me, either. I was kept under harsh lights for elebenty-six hours and nobody brought me any Whiska's toonas or 'Vine. I did not have adequate access to my litter box.
I certainly cannot be held responsible for any admissions I may or may not have made under such absurd adders adverse circumstances.
And that's the troof, the whole troof, and nuffing but the troof.


29 comments:

  1. You need to appeal to the Geneva Convention.

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  2. oh my that's awful! No question that's a breach of the Shadow Proclamation. Humans.

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  3. I don't know Spitty - seems to me you live in comfort and TW does not treat you badly. AND she had the wounds, not you.

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  4. Evidence can always be twisted - where was your legal counsel?

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  5. Spittikens-Deary, I can repeat that position iffen you want to come over RIGHT NOW and lick my toesies. That would be SO nice. And then I'll lick yours...

    Cleanliness is very impawtant. And so is closeness...

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  6. We thinks you doth protest too much, Spitty. ;) But you do look rather innocent in that picture.

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  7. Oh, BTW, we doubt you are really "innocent". Of the direct charge, sure. But in general, no. MOL! ~ Marley and Iza

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  8. Spitty, me is still thinking there should has been DEEP gouges that SPURTED bloods!
    Thats what me does!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  9. Sounds like she violated the Geneva Convention, Spitty. I'd get PeTA on speed dial and quickly. She even made you speak French! OMC!!!

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  10. Aww, look at that face! I totally completely and utterly believe you!! Innocent as the day is long! Why, we'll even start an exonerate Spitty campaign!

    Star says: All I know is there were no witnesses, no dna evidence, no habius scratchus.. ok, there might be that, but there is no direct proof of WHO did that! I bet she was out, gallivanting around, petting all kinds of strange kitties, and one of them got her. She's a well known kitty hugger, right? I'll be your kitty attorney, we'll fight this all the way to the supreme cat court! In the meantime, I'll lick your little heady, all part of the attorney client privilege.

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  11. Pish tosh - own it man! That was a scratch to be proud of.

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  12. You need a good lawyer Spitty. The human could have scratched herself on something else. We know you are innocent. Besides it was her fault, she picked you up and that is totally illegal.Take care.

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  13. Call your lawyer! Hope today your rights aren't taken away! Lee and Phod

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  14. Your rites will be righted and you will write. Right? ;)

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  15. Spitty darling...a face like this..your protestations..who could convict you? Not anyone that we know here. You are completely innocent. Faultless..spotless and as stainless as newly fallen snow is pure. WE believe you

    XXXOOO

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  16. I don't think there are any witnesses Spitty so I think you are in the clear!

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  17. You have the right to an apawrney!

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  18. The troof? More like the TOOF!

    or clawr...

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  19. This is an outrage! If your basic Nirvana Rights were violated you are seen as innocent in the claws of the law and you record should be exsponged of all wrongdoing. Not that you did anything wrong.

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  20. We agree with Nellie, 'in for penny, in for a pound' is our motto.

    xoxo
    Ms. Stella O'Houligan

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  21. What? You weren't given adequate access to your litter box? Well then, who needs a litter box when there are the lovely Human shoes all over the place?

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  22. Once again, protesting way too much. We must admit, however, that you look totally innocent. We do suspect that you spend many hours each day practicing that look. That sunny spot looks delightful, and it makes for very pretty furs. Enjoy and happy Easter. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Misty May, Mauricio, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

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  23. Oh dear, we just read the post previous to this one and all we have to say is that there is nothing more to say... a cat has to do what a cat has to do... Purrs of support from the Zee/Zoey gang

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  24. You can't be found guilty on a statement made under the durr-ess. No way.

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  25. Of course you're innocent! Just who says otherwise? purr

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  26. what!!! what???? Spitty...I am so outta loop...dude...what the H happened??...runs to paw back to "older posts"...if she hurt my Spitty...

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  27. Humans. Can't live with them. And well, sometimes you just can't live with them. Does due-process mean NOTHING to them???

    I'm just glad you've survived the interrogation.

    Let's hope you survive the Easter bunny!

    Happy Easter!!!
    Love,
    Katie, Glogirly & Waffles TOO

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Leave me a meow or a hiss; I don't mind a hiss or two. . . or even a bitey.