Friday, March 29, 2013

Je Suis Innocent

Damage the Human, mes amis? Moi? 
Surely you jest!

N.B. Yesterday's so-called 'confession' was illegally obtained under door rest do ress doe tress duress. Yeah, that's it. I was denied counsel and no Nirvana Rites were recited to me, either. I was kept under harsh lights for elebenty-six hours and nobody brought me any Whiska's toonas or 'Vine. I did not have adequate access to my litter box.
I certainly cannot be held responsible for any admissions I may or may not have made under such absurd adders adverse circumstances.
And that's the troof, the whole troof, and nuffing but the troof.


29 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

You need to appeal to the Geneva Convention.

The Cat Guy said...

oh my that's awful! No question that's a breach of the Shadow Proclamation. Humans.

Angel Simba said...

Suuuuuurrrrrre!

brokenteepee said...

I don't know Spitty - seems to me you live in comfort and TW does not treat you badly. AND she had the wounds, not you.

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

Evidence can always be twisted - where was your legal counsel?

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

Spittikens-Deary, I can repeat that position iffen you want to come over RIGHT NOW and lick my toesies. That would be SO nice. And then I'll lick yours...

Cleanliness is very impawtant. And so is closeness...

The Island Cats said...

We thinks you doth protest too much, Spitty. ;) But you do look rather innocent in that picture.

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

Oh, BTW, we doubt you are really "innocent". Of the direct charge, sure. But in general, no. MOL! ~ Marley and Iza

Unknown said...

Spitty, me is still thinking there should has been DEEP gouges that SPURTED bloods!
Thats what me does!
Kisses
Nellie

Cathy Keisha said...

Sounds like she violated the Geneva Convention, Spitty. I'd get PeTA on speed dial and quickly. She even made you speak French! OMC!!!

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Aww, look at that face! I totally completely and utterly believe you!! Innocent as the day is long! Why, we'll even start an exonerate Spitty campaign!

Star says: All I know is there were no witnesses, no dna evidence, no habius scratchus.. ok, there might be that, but there is no direct proof of WHO did that! I bet she was out, gallivanting around, petting all kinds of strange kitties, and one of them got her. She's a well known kitty hugger, right? I'll be your kitty attorney, we'll fight this all the way to the supreme cat court! In the meantime, I'll lick your little heady, all part of the attorney client privilege.

Angel Prancer Pie said...

So help you cod?

Catio Tales said...

Pish tosh - own it man! That was a scratch to be proud of.

Marg said...

You need a good lawyer Spitty. The human could have scratched herself on something else. We know you are innocent. Besides it was her fault, she picked you up and that is totally illegal.Take care.

Hailey and Zaphod and their Lady said...

Call your lawyer! Hope today your rights aren't taken away! Lee and Phod

CATachresis said...

Your rites will be righted and you will write. Right? ;)

Katie Isabella said...

Spitty darling...a face like this..your protestations..who could convict you? Not anyone that we know here. You are completely innocent. Faultless..spotless and as stainless as newly fallen snow is pure. WE believe you

XXXOOO

Brian's Home Blog said...

I don't think there are any witnesses Spitty so I think you are in the clear!

Sushi said...

You have the right to an apawrney!

Katnip Lounge said...

The troof? More like the TOOF!

or clawr...

Shaggy and Scout said...

This is an outrage! If your basic Nirvana Rights were violated you are seen as innocent in the claws of the law and you record should be exsponged of all wrongdoing. Not that you did anything wrong.

Stacy Hurt said...

We agree with Nellie, 'in for penny, in for a pound' is our motto.

xoxo
Ms. Stella O'Houligan

The Furries of Whisppy said...

What? You weren't given adequate access to your litter box? Well then, who needs a litter box when there are the lovely Human shoes all over the place?

Unknown said...

Once again, protesting way too much. We must admit, however, that you look totally innocent. We do suspect that you spend many hours each day practicing that look. That sunny spot looks delightful, and it makes for very pretty furs. Enjoy and happy Easter. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Misty May, Mauricio, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

Deb Barnes said...

Oh dear, we just read the post previous to this one and all we have to say is that there is nothing more to say... a cat has to do what a cat has to do... Purrs of support from the Zee/Zoey gang

Just Ducky said...

You can't be found guilty on a statement made under the durr-ess. No way.

Seville at Nerissa's Life said...

Of course you're innocent! Just who says otherwise? purr

Anonymous said...

what!!! what???? Spitty...I am so outta loop...dude...what the H happened??...runs to paw back to "older posts"...if she hurt my Spitty...

GLOGIRLY said...

Humans. Can't live with them. And well, sometimes you just can't live with them. Does due-process mean NOTHING to them???

I'm just glad you've survived the interrogation.

Let's hope you survive the Easter bunny!

Happy Easter!!!
Love,
Katie, Glogirly & Waffles TOO