You would not believe what happened to me! The Human went to bed last night without ever giving me my night-time foods! Now, she claims she is not feeling well, she claims she took a sick day today for the first time in two years, she claims it had nothing at all to do with yesterday's travesty of a post.
But, my furiends, I do not believe her! It just seems like too much of a coincidence that she makes that insulting post with a tape measure and then, just ever so innocently and conveniently, forgets my dinner! This is an Outrage of the First Order, perhaps not quite as horrifying as last August, but certainly right up there in the Top Five.
Thank Ceiling Cat I got my breakfast! And not a moment too soon, either. I was all fainty.