Friday, April 26, 2013

The Terrible, Terrible Toy

About a week ago, the Human decided to play Nekofly Toy with me. Normally, I enjoy such activities. But Kitties! Let me tell you the horrors that befell me! That THING wrapped itself somehow around a portion of my anatomy that the Human didn't really see very well and I am not revealing. 

I jerked away as any kitty would, pulling the wand part right out of the Human's hand, and raced UTB trailing that toy behind me. The Human did all she could to coax me out, but I was not making a sound. So despite the fact that it was 10:30 p.m., she ripped the bedding off the bed, tipped the [very heavy --Ed.] queen-size mattress up against the wall, pulled the box springs off in another direction, practically weeping with certainty I had been strangulated by now. I, of course, had escaped at the first sign of mattress tipping, leaving that murderous toy behind.

Fast forward to last night. I was hanging around the Human's desk, practically begging for playtime. Thinking surely I must have recovered from my scare, the Human actually dragged out that Instrument of Death and dangled it before me. Kitties, I kept my composure, I did. I walked calmly into the living room. 

But she did not leave well-enough alone. She followed me! Brandishing that THING in front of her. Well, Kitties, I admit it: I losted it. I screamed and hissed and hissed and screamed and ran for cover and hissed some more. I stayed hidden for two or three HOURS. To her credit, the Human came in and crooned, "I'm sorry, Spitty, I'm sooooo sorry" to me UTB. I did not reply.

Finally I emerged from the bedroom into the hallway, where I sat, tiny and fearful, for awhile longer. Then she insensitively snapped a photo. What's wrong with her?

Outcome: The Nekofly is going to live with the Cousins and I am getting anything I want for the foreseeable future.  I'm calling it a draw.


 Resident Evil:  1
Tiny & Fearful Spitty:  1

36 comments:

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

I am glad you are okay, Spitty! Obviously, that hideous experience has traumatized you! I had no idea those Nekoflies could be so vicious!

meowmeowmans said...

Poor Spitty! D*mn that scary and terrible Nekofly. We never would have guessed that they could be like that.

KitKat said...

What a terrible ordeal Spity. Hugs.

Cathy Keisha said...

You poor kitty! How can she return to the scene of the crime? TW is always afraid something like that is going to happen to me with wand toys with extra long strings and is extra careful. If the blue pillow isn't taken, I'll be right over.

brokenteepee said...

Oh poor Spitty. Goat hugs from us

The Island Cats said...

Holy carp, Spitty! We think we may need to reconsider our Nekofly now. But come to think of it, we haven't seen ours lately...ever since sweet Zoey decided to eat the dang thing...about 12 inches of the string.

We hope you make your human pay and pay for what she's done.

Ivan from WMD said...

Oh, Spitty, what a terrible, terrible thing to happen to you! It's awful that your human then had such a lapse of judgment, but just remember how very upset she was at your possibly being deadilated by a toy to begin with.

Snap says have a Cheez-It and everything will be fine.

Angel Prancer Pie said...

Fearful, maybe. Tiny? No.

Sweet Purrfections said...

We are so sorry that toy scared you so much. We love playing with our wand toys, but our mom tries to put them out of our reach when we're not playing. You've made her reconsider where she puts them.

Hope you get lots of toys to replace that toy!

The Furries of Whisppy said...

I can totally relate, Spitty. While I didn't have an awful Neko Fly coil round my body, I did have a Da Bird smash itself against my face. It's been a year but I'm still wary of it.

Your Human did the right thing in sending that potential murderer away. Mine is still here. Apparently since my other furblings love it. Bah.

...Cosmo

Kjelle Bus aka Charlie Rascal said...

The Neko strings sure are EVIL !
Butik I still play's with my Neka fly , my mom is keeping the string short so I don't get all handled up :)

Unknown said...

Oh Dear Spitty!
mes shall comes over and sooths yous with head licks!
Kisses
nellie

Catio Tales said...

You don't linke stringy toys, do you, King Spitty? We are so sorry the Neko-fly tried to kill you, and that your Human's insensitivity added to the insult. We think string toys should be banned from Spittola mansions now.

And that bed sounds HEFTY. No subtle pine frames there.

Terri said...

We are sad to hear you had a bad experience with the Neko Fly :(

One of my cats had a bad experience with a plastic shopping bag. She never got over it, either.

I'd demand something expensive to play with!

Sheri said...

Oh, the horror. The horror.

Sushi said...

Oh, poor spitty. I don't have a Nekofly toy and i don't think i'd want one.

Marg said...

Poor Spitty and poor Mom. Can the Mom walk after flinging the bed up. That sounds like a horrible adventure. Glad you aren't going to have any more of those. Guess wand toys are off limits now. Hope the weekend is better for both of you. Take care.

Misaki @ misadventuresofMisaki said...

oh noes Spitty!

Brian's Home Blog said...

I hate that when good toys go bad Spitty!

Pat Hatt said...

Attack of the killer toy, that sure brings no joy.

Fuzzy Tales said...

Our cruel, cruel human is almost peeing herself laughing. Sorry, Spitty, she's hopeless. We're awfully glad that toy didn't kill you! What a horrific experience!

Callie (a.k.a. Trouble) said...

Spitty, Sassy here. I am sorry to here about your sociopathic toy. I am looking forward to our furrari ride. About my Welsh mancat crush (sigh). I think I just have to misfortune to fall for a mancat who was born without a single romantic bone in his wonderfully handsome black and white body (sigh)!

Kitties Blue said...

Wow, Spiity, we can't believe your mom got out that mean toy again. Guess she was thinking about the saying about falling off a horse and getting right back on again. We kitties are much more sensitive, however. Hope that bad toy doesn't attack your cousins. Anything you want? Wow, maybe that little scare was worth it. Let us know what kind of loot comes your way. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat On My Head, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

The Cat Guy said...

Oh my, the trauma. Trauma for everyone! Glad to hear everyone's ok in the end. No more bug toys for you!

Cat and DOG Chat With Caren said...

oh no you poor baby!!! How dare that Neko fly attack you like that! I love mine and thank goodness have never become tangled in it. Love, Cody

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Oh poor darling Spitty! Hugs and purrs and scritches from us! Mean ol' neko fly! This makes us rethink having that thing on our 'get one someday' list! Toys cannot be allowed to hurt Spitty! Now, can I scoop you up and give you kisses?

Star says: Where is that death-rod! I'll give it the hissing and scratching of it's life! How DARE it try to hurt the king! Hissssss!!!!!
Spitty, have no fear, I'm teleporting over right now to lick and nuzzle whatever part of you was strangulated by that thing! Uh.. maybe depending on where it is.. But regardless, I will bathe your little head and try to soothe you my darling Spitty. What a horrible ordeal! purrrrr XOXOXOXOXO

Katnip Lounge said...

At least it didn't wrap around your bal***!

Ahem. The sound you hear is us punishing Mommy for laughing. She is a Terrible Person.

Deb Barnes said...

Oh my goodness Spitty. All that plus a pictures? Geez... you better get something really pawsome like a brand new, five story cat condo! Purrs from the Zee/Zoey gang

CATachresis said...

hey Spitty!! I was zackly the same as that about DaBird for the longest time!! I thought the Staff was a sadist, I really did. Then all of a sudden I got to like it and then I got to LOVE it! But I didn't let on. It's best to punish the humans for as long as you can.

PeeEss About Sassy. I think I blew it :(( She thinks I am a cad and a bounder or something cos I don't pay attention all the time. (Ed. don't pay attention at all!!) I guess I'm no good at this lark!!

Tamago said...

Oh no, what a scary experience! You are very smart to avoid playing with it after that. But poor baby, I hope you are not traumatized...not by the toy but by the picture taking when you are tiny and fearful!

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

Oh dear Spitty, we unnerstand COMPLETELY! While we generally like wand toys, they CAN get out of hand and get all tangly. We have run off with a wand trailing us at times too.

We recommend that yer Mom just lay the Nekko on the floor fer a day or so, so that you can approach it careful, poke an paw it, and make sure you know it wont hurt you again.

Then have her put it away fer a week so when ya see it again it will be a FUN thing again.

Mollie said...

Oh Spitty the trauma, just chillax today and sending you cuddles.. What you can have anything you want , not a bad outcome than :) xx00xx

Mollie and Alfie

bethany925 said...

Spitty! What an adventure! A horrible, terrifying, death-defying adventure, sure, but those tend to end up being teh best kind. Also, you are so HUMBLE! you don even tell us about your UTB show-down wif Neko Monster. Did you kill him again and again? I bet you did. So, really, that photo is not you being tiny and fearful, but regally contemplative about your recent triumph over teh Neko Fly Menace. Yet another Kingly Public Service. We are not worthy (well, clearly Teh Woman is not, but whateva). enjoy your "everyfing." you deserve it.

Seville at Nerissa's Life said...

Oh no! A truly dastardly neko fly if ever there was one. May the purrs be with you. purrs

rainbow said...

Poor Spitty, what a trauma. I hope you have recovered from the shocking attack. Enjoy all your promised treats!
Purrs ... Rainbow

Katie Isabella said...

OH SPITTY! LEAVE THERE IMMEDIATELY! Let her comtemplate the horror of the Neko--- and while she is, you come over here UTB with me. We will tell one another stories, crack a few jars of Gerbers, lap up some Haf N Haf (Mom's back trying to make up for 'bandoning me) We can have our ways with her. What do you think...11ish?